Lostindifference - Why..?

Stopping yourself mid-conflict to change your perspective is allowed! It’s okay and normal to be mid argument with someone and realize you disagree with your own stance. Often I find myself and others caught up in trying to win the argument (not the point of arguments!) or too embarrassed to back down and be wrong. I promise there is so much more pride in going “Stop! I’m wrong. I hear you and I see how I wasn’t in the right and I want to amend my view” than digging your heels in.

I think the goal is not to be perfect and try to change everything of us (or others too, as we project on them our "dark" sides) but to accept ourselves despite our imperfections and "flaws". No matter how much we try, we'll always end up doing or saying something that can be considered wrong or bad, even unconsciously. And that's completely okay. We interface with different people, and we cannot please everyone or we'll just go crazy. But we need to please ourselves and give us a break. Be kind with ourselves as we're just trying. Appreciate who we are, light and dark. We'll always make mistakes, we'll always make a wrong choice... Sure we can try to change what we really do not appreciate, the coping mechanisms that are hindering and making us suffer (the ones we're not even aware of), but we need to remember there's no recipe to be perfect as there's no real perfection. We can always try to be better but we cannot reach that perfection we aim to as it doesn't exist. We cannot be that to feel accepted and included, to feel seen and valued, to feel less alone: people change their mind as the wind anyway. But we can see all of who we are and welcome our darkest side and try to feel more content and... not make us feel alone by abandoning and neglecting a side of us that still exists and needs our love, even if we accuse it to not let us be accepted by others. Maybe if we accepted it, accepted our whole self, and knew us... maybe we'd feel less alone, more apt to see our light within without having to compare to others and more open to others too.

Me when my thick thighs

Me when other women's thick thighs

Lofi Garnet

I’m begging Black girls and especially younger Black girls to please stop going on the Internet and complaining about being the least attractive/feminine/desirable and how guys don’t want you and how much you hate being a Black girl and wish you were another race(usually white/East Asian is what I see) so that you could be seen as beautiful/get the guy you want/not hate yourself every time you look into a mirror. Please. Stop doing that shit. I understand the soul-crushing way that Black girls are treated in society, and how insistent the world and people in general are in stripping us of our femininity and beauty and trying to gaslight us into believing that we’re ugly, and because of that it is so so easy to fall prey to the “we’re the ugliest of women and no one will ever love us” mentality. But when you make posts like these, talking down on yourself for being Black and expressing envy towards non-Black women, you are not only shitting on every Black woman out there who looks like you, you’re also giving non-Black girls an ego boost and letting them believe that they really are more attractive and valuable than us and that we’re “the ugly ones” because Black girls themselves are saying it and self-deprecating themselves.

I’m begging you to please stop going on these intensely anti-Black and misogynistic hate sites dedicated to hating on/tearing down women and venting about how being a Black girl is such a curse and a terrible burden and how you’ll never be as beautiful as a white/Asian woman because you have dark skin and coily hair. All you’re doing is putting yourself in harm’s way and validating the way people already think about us while shitting on your fellow Black sisters by painting us all with the “undesirable/ugly” brush. I understand that the rest of the world constantly tells us that we’re ugly/unlovable and less womanly than the rest of the groups. I understand feeling anger, confusion, and frustration at how were treated by people who are supposed to care about us and protect us. I understand feeding into it. But please don’t. Especially not on sites that prey on women’s insecurities and are filled to the brim with people who hate Black women with a seething passion. They’re only going to tell you that you’re right, not comfort you and make you feel better, you can’t rely on these sites for validation. Please talk to your friends and family or a therapist if you feel insecure about your race, and either follow Black female content creators who uplift Black women/girls or get off of social media for the betterment of your own mental health. Please. I’m begging you. 🙏🏿

Something that made hygiene-related things easier to do was to say "fuck it" to the concept of doing the thing at the Right time. My teeth do not understand that it is currently 02:00 or 15:00 and they're getting brushed. The skin on my face doesn't hold up a timepiece and say, "why haven't you washed me, twelve hours have elapsed and you haven't bothered to wash me!".

As someone who has had very intense experiences with my ability to do things at the Right time, throwing out those rules has been a game-changer. I used to shame myself because I didn't do something at the Right Time, so I just didn't do it, which would make me feel even worse. That's not a healthy way to go about anything. Accommodate for yourself. Throw out those rules.

Daily existential crisis really are just so draining and with depression it’s like I want to get better but if I have no purpose, If their is no point in living, then why should I?

A reminder that food is morally nuetral.

That unless a food is literally poison or an allergy, it is not a bad food.

Your body needs carbs.

Your body needs fats.

Your body needs calories.

Maybe you struggle with moderation or getting the variety of nutrients you need to feel your best, but that does not make the foods you regularly eat bad.

Put the dressing on your salad. Add the cheese to the sandwhich. Grab a cookie to have with lunch. Add an egg to your instant Ramen. Mix M&Ms and teddy grams and roasted peanuts into your cup of yogurt. Put whipped cream on your coffee. Add frozen strawberries or Boba pearls to your iced tea. Sprinkle tajin onto your fruit cup.

Food must fuel your soul as well as your body. It is doesn't need to be a battleground. It can be a joy.