Something I Find Hilarious About The Mcu Is That In Modern Times The Founders Of Shield Are Absolutely

realtalk the least realistic thing about Endgame is how Clint shows up with a highly detailed full arm sleeve tattoo of a skeleton samurai and a viper, the edgiest tattoo possible, and no one says a single, fucking, thing.

Not even Tony. Like come ON you cannot tell me he didn't see that and go, "Mid-life crisis much?"

though on second thought I guess Clint would probably punch him in the throat so, maybe it was just self-preservation.

it's still funny, though.

reasons bucky barnes is too good for this world collected from both the mcu and comics, feel free to add if you like 

as the winter soldier he botched a shot because a little girl got in his line of fire

his first christmas as himself again he gave a wad of cash to a homeless vietnam vet 

after the events in washington d.c. he returned to his handlers but didn’t kill them (just beat ‘em up a little) bc he didn’t want to spill anymore blood 

he got really emotional when the young avengers patriot, hawkeye, and vision saluted him and said it was an honor to work with him 

once told off one of his soviet handlers for suggesting that the black widow belonged to anyone

visits his little sister at the alzheimer’s hospital where she lives 

has actually uttered the words “holy cow” on screen 

wanted to be a park ranger

saw Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in theaters with his dad and little sister 

actually put his hair in a manbun and wore an apron over his uniform to make eggs and bacon for himself and steve

builds model spaceships while living on a spaceship in space 

adopted a space aardvark he found in chains, scared, and alone

also adopted a tiny child who has been known to be an actual menace bc she had been used as a weapon and he knows what that’s like 

his name is literally “bucky barnes” 

plums???

lives by the code W.W.S.D. (What Would Steve Do) when things are looking tricky 

sat with a couple of kids on the fourth of july to watch the fireworks while eating a red, white, and blue popsicle 

this was funnier in my head

writers whenever they’re starting a new fic: I have these ✨ vibes ✨ now I’ll have to build an entire plot and write an entire fic about those vibes

are all animals dangerous?

every animal has the potential to be dangerous under certain circumstances. for instance, a dog could bite you, a moth could distract a UPS driver into plowing through your living room window, you could inhale and choke on an earthworm.

Punk besties

Tobey Maguire Spider-Man "it's a hard knock life" fancam hours

angsty assassins

Thinking about this panel from Thunderbolts (2023) #2 today.

Bucky tearing down the Outer Circle was known in the supervillain community, and he’s (conveniently, in this case) considered one of them now. What’s really interesting to me is Nefaria’s comment to Natasha, “what a delight to see you back among your proper peers.”

They operate in such morally grey areas that it’s plausible for them to just waltz into the Hellfire Club with an invitation. And even if it’s just making small talk, I like the idea of villains being relieved that Nat and Bucky might finally stop coming after them.

Which they won’t. They’re just going do it in matching evening wear.

the thing about “angry chihuahua” pre-serum steve is that on a vacuum, I get why people like it? like it’s cute, smol steve being angry and sassy, it’s funny, not everything in fandom has to be 100% serious and angst-driven etc etc, i understand that

but at the same time… it bothers me so much because it’s just. so. condescending. like… “awww look at this poor disabled man thinking he can stand up to people, haha, so adorable, thank god he has bucky around to keep him alive!111!”. 

(i don’t want to get too much into how this devalues the stucky dynamic bc i don’t even go here, but bucky! respected! pre-serum steve! immensely!! he didn’t see him as a reckless idiot who needed him to survive! it’s like people take the “the little guy from brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight” quote and only remember this part and forget the rest, the most important part, “I’M FOLLOWING HIM”! bucky knows pre-serum steve was way more of a hero than some dude dressed as the american flag shooting a fake gun at movies!!! that’s the POINT!!)

it’s just so… dismissive of steve’s bravery and cleverness. people take ONE scene in the first avenger where steve gets into a fight he’s clearly not going to win, ignoring that a) the framing of the moment when the guy stands up and steve’s face makes very clear that he KNOWS he’s in trouble, he has no delusions about ACTUALLY being able to win the fight; b) the dude is being an asshole and disrespecting others in the theater and steve! gets! him! to stop!!!! The guy LEAVES to beat him up in the alley, thus accomplishing the main point of Steve’s intervention, aka to let the grieving lady watch the tribute to the troops in peace. 

and that’s like… THE ONLY TIME IN THE MOVIE where pre-serum steve does something like this. right on the first enlistment scene, some dude is clearly trying to tease him with the “makes you think twice about enlisting, huh?” talk, and steve just goes “nope” and IGNORES THE GUY AND DOESN’T TAKE THE BAIT. because it doesn’t matter! it’s just some dumbass who isn’t threatening anyone! steve doesn’t need to get into a fight because someone is underestimating him - if he did, he’d fight with everyone all the time, because guess what, as a disabled man in the 40s, steve is barely considered an actual man. there’s a LEGITIMATE scientific view in this time period that argues that people like him should be murdered at birth. he KNOWS how he’s perceived. he’s aware. when he’s talking to the doctor, he’s not brattish - he asks give me a chance and is there anything you can do?. his tone in the latter line specifically is TIRED, not defiant. 

and then!! the One Scene apparently everyone who thinks pre-serum steve was a moron with a macho complex didn’t watch: the training montage! where that hodge guy deliberately fucks with the barbed wire just to get in steve’s way and STEVE! DOESN’T! REACT!!!!!!!! he just grits his teeth and tries to keep going and the officer has to be like “rogers take this rifle out of the mud”. there’s no indication that steve EVER tried to fight this guy in the movie, despite the fact that he’s constantly shown laughing/bullying steve during the training. why? because it’d be a pointless fight to pick. it’d be a fight picked out of nothing but pride and steve can’t afford to do that. he stands up for what’s right, not for everything and anything that pisses him off.

it frustrates me that people don’t seem to get this because it’s like… the very core of steve’s character. he’s not a wannabe bully. he’s kind and polite to others (meeting peggy, talking to dr. eskrine. eskrine isn’t just impressed by the “i don’t like bullies” moment, he’s clearly also very pleased by the fact steve doesn’t show prejudice against him for being german). the only moment where he adopts a “fight me” posture that gets him in actual trouble, it’s to protect and help others who can’t stand up for themselves. i get that in theory the idea of smol bean steve fighting everything and everyone might sound fun, but in reality, a person who craves violence and sees it as a prime way to achieve their goals is the opposite of who steve rogers is meant to be.

(and that’s not even getting into when people write POST-serum steve with this “fight me” attitude which is like… how… do you think… that’d be ok… how do you not see a difference between a ninety-pound disabled man and a literal supersoldier trying to intimidate people physically… which part of “a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows compassion” you didn’t understand…)

so imo, this characterization weakens not only steve’s character, but his arc, and even the story of tfa as a whole? the serum works on steve because he’s already a noble, brave, good man. if he was an asshole who bites off people’s hand for looking at him wrong, none of this would make sense. by this logic, eskrine might have as well picked hodge.