NOVOCAINE.
NOVOCAINE.
I know attention’s what she craves,
while you reminisce of now lost days.
Lying in the bed you made,
This cautionary tale of novocaine.
“Listed on my Wiki page,
There’s a list of whom I’d been betrayed,
Alongside accomplishments and accolades,
that you missed while you were away.
“That same list tells of who I’d claimed,
As lessons I’ll take to the grave,
Those lessons struck me, taught me, trained,
You made me “love” tasting blood and pain.
“We both knew you’d never change,
And thus so, you set the stage,
to view the downfall of your name.
A name I now push from my brain.
“I chewed and bit my lips by day,
To stop from talking, as to not say
How much I hate you, but I refrained,
Because my mother taught me ‘Grace’.
“But I grew tired of this relay.
Why should I be the one to maintain
This toxic joke you call a family?
I grew up, while you grew afraid.
“That’s what kept me alive and sane,
Yet what keeps you quiet and ashamed.
The fact that your love slowly drained,
And it’s all on you, your choice, your mistake.
“All your promises were fake,
Waited for that phone that never rang,
The gardens of my mind I raked,
My own sanctuary, I’d make.
“The anger and fury that burns away,
your scorching guilt will never fade.
And at night you’ll lie awake.
while your dreams die, your ‘heart’ slowly breaks.
“You search for forgiveness everyday,
Desperately reaching out in vain,
hoping to grasp a new blank slate,
but you and I know that’s insane.
“You look in the mirror but see my face,
It’s too late now, you can’t escape.
A hollow shell is what remains,
The colors gone, it’s all plain.
“Behind that ‘bride’ of yours who’s vain,
Who’s really more your ball and chain,
She only said yes to have a way,
To meet those bills she couldn’t pay.
“So let this be your take-away,
Two have always played this game.
You’ve learned victory you can’t claim,
And I now walk a different place,
“I see your life stuck on this page,
From which you can’t turn, it’s in flames.
It makes me relieved to finally say,
‘From you, I’m the one who got away’.”
LOVE, DEAR ABBY
More Posts from Lovedearabby and Others
…
seventh
eighth
seventeenth
nineteenth
twenty-first 🧺
- part two
twenty-second 🧺
twenty-fourth 🧺
“I wish I could tell you I miss you, but you aren’t that person anymore.”
- abby
…
second
sixth
ninth
tenth
eleventh
twentieth
twenty-ninth 💋
🌑: “You said we were your sun and moon. Who’s which?”
✨: “Well, she’s my sun. She brings the light to my life.”
🌒: “Oh, so I just revolve around you?”
✨: “No. You’re there for me even when I can’t see you.”
🌓: “…that’s… wow… …but you know what that makes you?”
✨: “Hmm?”
🌔: “The stars.”
✨: “How so?”
🌕: “You fill the void in between.”
There’s a statue of you in the gardens of my mind.
“Knowing that I found you after everything I went through, makes it hurt a lot less.”
- abby
“…and it was that day I realized it was hopeless; for I was simply a mosaic of everyone I’d ever loved.”
I don’t just love the way they love me; I love the way they make me love myself.
- LOVE, DEAR ABBY
“can we go back to normal?”
considering my normal has been fainting in the shower, not being able to breathe, a heart rate of 190, social avoidance, and feelings of hopelessness,
no. no, we can not go ‘back to normal’.
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