Chuuya: On A Scale Of One To Ten, How Would You Rate Your Pain?

Chuuya: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?

Dazai: Pi.

Chuuya: Pi?

Dazai: Low level, but never ending.

Tags

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More Posts from Mackerel22 and Others

mackerel22

11 months ago

Atsushi, seeing the cops marching past:

Atsushi, who has done nothing wrong ever: They're coming for me.

Dazai, currently wanted for 138 murders, 312 cases of extortion, and 625 cases of fraud, along with various and sundry other crimes: Yeah, probably.

Tags

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mackerel22

1 year ago

*married skk au where Chuuya is an ada member and he and Dazai brought their child to work*

Dazai: Chibi, we know where the serial killer is. Me and Kunikida will go arrest him. I need you to take the baby.

Chuuya: No, you need to take the baby. I have to go right now.

Dazai: So what do we do???

Chuuya: I guess we can call that creepy babysitter we interviewed this morning.

Dazai: Turned out that babysitter is the serial killer we are looking for.

Chuuya, yelling: Even better! Two birds, one stone. We bring him to you!

Dazai, yelling: We're not giving our baby to a serial killer!

Tags

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mackerel22

1 year ago

Dazai: Chuuya is mad at me and I don’t even know why.

Odasaku: Were you talking before he got mad?

Dazai: Yeah.

Odasaku: That’s probably why.

Tags

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mackerel22

1 year ago

Chuuya: Are you ready to commit?

Dazai: Like, a crime, a suicide or a relationship?

Tags

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mackerel22

1 year ago

Chuuya: I had no idea you were so willing to die for me.

Dazai: Trust me I can hardly believe it myself.

Tags

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mackerel22

9 months ago

Chuuya: Shut up!

Dazai: Or what?

Chuuya, thinking what to say that could make Dazai shut up forever:

Chuuya: Or else I'll marry you!

Dazai: *malfunctions*

Tags

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mackerel22

10 months ago

Dazai: I need a top.

Ranpo: Chuuya is in the pm, but Atsushi can go get him for you.

Dazai, blushing: I meant for this food container!

Yosano: Ok, bottom...

Dazai: Yosano, please.

Yosano: ...drawer.

Tags

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mackerel22

11 months ago

Ranpo, first time meeting Dazai about Chuuya: My special abillity says there's a man in your life you're having problems with.

Dazai, angrily: That's an easy guess.

Dazai: I'm clearly an annoying person and have problems with both genders.

Ranpo: Yes, you clearly are.

Tags

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mackerel22

1 year ago

Chuuya: I find that I adore a person pleasantly more if they can speak a second language, especially French.

Dazai: Ma ciao!

Chuuya:

Tags

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mackerel22

6 months ago

*ada!Chuuya au*

Atsushi: I can't tell whether Chuuya joining the ada was a good thing or not...

Atsushi: Because on one hand, I have much less paperwork to do, and Dazai seems much happier and more stable.

Atsushi: On the other hand-

Dazai, through the office door: Fuck yes Chuuya, there, there!

Atsushi: That.

Tags

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