Chuuya: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?
Dazai: Pi.
Chuuya: Pi?
Dazai: Low level, but never ending.
Atsushi, seeing the cops marching past:
Atsushi, who has done nothing wrong ever: They're coming for me.
Dazai, currently wanted for 138 murders, 312 cases of extortion, and 625 cases of fraud, along with various and sundry other crimes: Yeah, probably.
*married skk au where Chuuya is an ada member and he and Dazai brought their child to work*
Dazai: Chibi, we know where the serial killer is. Me and Kunikida will go arrest him. I need you to take the baby.
Chuuya: No, you need to take the baby. I have to go right now.
Dazai: So what do we do???
Chuuya: I guess we can call that creepy babysitter we interviewed this morning.
Dazai: Turned out that babysitter is the serial killer we are looking for.
Chuuya, yelling: Even better! Two birds, one stone. We bring him to you!
Dazai, yelling: We're not giving our baby to a serial killer!
Dazai: Chuuya is mad at me and I don’t even know why.
Odasaku: Were you talking before he got mad?
Dazai: Yeah.
Odasaku: That’s probably why.
Chuuya: Are you ready to commit?
Dazai: Like, a crime, a suicide or a relationship?
Chuuya: I had no idea you were so willing to die for me.
Dazai: Trust me I can hardly believe it myself.
Chuuya: Shut up!
Dazai: Or what?
Chuuya, thinking what to say that could make Dazai shut up forever:
Chuuya: Or else I'll marry you!
Dazai: *malfunctions*
Dazai: I need a top.
Ranpo: Chuuya is in the pm, but Atsushi can go get him for you.
Dazai, blushing: I meant for this food container!
Yosano: Ok, bottom...
Dazai: Yosano, please.
Yosano: ...drawer.
Ranpo, first time meeting Dazai about Chuuya: My special abillity says there's a man in your life you're having problems with.
Dazai, angrily: That's an easy guess.
Dazai: I'm clearly an annoying person and have problems with both genders.
Ranpo: Yes, you clearly are.
Chuuya: I find that I adore a person pleasantly more if they can speak a second language, especially French.
Dazai: Ma ciao!
Chuuya:
*ada!Chuuya au*
Atsushi: I can't tell whether Chuuya joining the ada was a good thing or not...
Atsushi: Because on one hand, I have much less paperwork to do, and Dazai seems much happier and more stable.
Atsushi: On the other hand-
Dazai, through the office door: Fuck yes Chuuya, there, there!
Atsushi: That.