I Wanna Be A Cat So Bad

30.12.2021

16.11.2021

- "Long lost, and never found", Astha

30.06.2021

wildest of desires, serendipitous dreams , fiery fingertips , and unknown prophecies ...

- Written by Astha Kesri

- Visuals by Vaishnavi

The text has been formatted by amalgamating the various stages my brain tends to process emotions through. With poetry and, without it.

I am extremely thankful to Vaishnavi for visualizing this piece. I can’t think of anyone else who’d film my poetry as you have. I look forward to more such collaborations where both of us can pursue our love for creating art.

@metamorphesque @kill-your-darlin @ashstfu @ritikajyala

"I slept, and slept, with my brain alive"

"I mistook a broken mirror for anonymity, and pared a hundred "me" within"

- Astha, "my two week old butterfly days" *a random collection of my 2am monologues*

00:18

3:33am

I've dreamt of better days, I still do...

I should've cried less, back when I could...

Take me...away.......

I need to stop overthinking...

"I don't want to feel like this,

but this is all I feel..."

21:57 pm

How loud, would she have been, with glistening red tears of fury, loss, and wars within...

Who would've maimed her autumnal skies, rose skin, gentle aesthete, and country choruses, enough to spiral into a dark vacuum of shambolic ambitions?

How loud, would she have been, to chisel a world within...to feel so much only to feel nothing...

3Am Thoughts

" if I start writing down everything that goes inside my brain....there you go xD "

I live with the fear of having to ask myself if I gave up too soon , and somehow that's all that keeps me going...

Maybe there's more to me than what they wanted , and I must've kept some secrets only to grow through all these wounds of mine...

I wonder if missing you was a mistake

What have I been staying up late for ? Why couldn't I sleep ? Maybe I should want myself more , maybe longing for you is killing me ...

I have monsters swirling through storms inside me , but I might as well look fine ...

" If I could love you, I'd write about us everyday" - Astha 24.01.2022