16.11.2021

I wish to be held close , curled up in bed, with someone whispering " it's alright, everything will be alright " , as I cry with outmost uncertainty and numbness / I wish to feel the warmth of their breath , as I lay with clenched fists, tears rolling down my cheeks , my nails etching moons on my sweaty palms / their hands slowly slipping into mine, asking me to hold on for a little longer, promising me that they'll never leave me / I wish to feel the prevailing silence mixed with a sense of belonging / I wish to live these moments with someone, I wish to not be left alone...

- my autumn soul, dying beautifully everyday...

" If I could love you, I'd write about us everyday" - Astha 24.01.2022

Been painting all my favorite stormy weather pictures from pinterest and I so wanna be a part of them x

- "Inventing Love" by Astha Kesri

(inspired by the idea of food as a love language; portrayed beautifully in most K dramas; intrigued by these very episodes of metaphoric depiction, my own analysis of certain soft human emotions conveyed through food…)

@metamorphesque @kill-your-darlin

I wish to walk through crowds of people , and to be filled with a sense of sonder and disbelief as to how I'd be able to access the most fascinating of stories...

I suffer from stargazing...

"I don't want to feel like this,

but this is all I feel..."

21:57 pm

How loud, would she have been, with glistening red tears of fury, loss, and wars within...

Who would've maimed her autumnal skies, rose skin, gentle aesthete, and country choruses, enough to spiral into a dark vacuum of shambolic ambitions?

How loud, would she have been, to chisel a world within...to feel so much only to feel nothing...

I want to...runaway

" with love, sir, i wish to serve myself some bread before I serve you a course, for I've starved my own hunger, and now I crave anything alive. "

" apologies, for I have been, scared, but aggressively, aggressively scared sir "

" I've washed dirt, and scrubed your basins white, sir, but I must say, your wine stained shirt remains. It commands me to honor it's poetic wrath with reality "

And how she thanked the world, for it's awaited doom, in casual conversations about flowers,

she'd smile at autumn, for death wasn't new to her, but the after...

" Poetic Betrayals " - Astha kesri

11.05.2022

"I have nothing to say" , and more lies...