"I Don't Want To Feel Like This,

"Void" by Astha Kesri

Lines that start with "If I could ...." are so painful. They remind me of emotions I've experienced before but haven't been able to confess , to my own self or to anyone ever , their anger and fear borne numbness wording long dead dreams into a broken sentence , drawing parallels between a world we drew as kids and the one we lived through gasping for the very colors we were promised...

I wish to walk through crowds of people , and to be filled with a sense of sonder and disbelief as to how I'd be able to access the most fascinating of stories...

I want to believe in myself,

but who the fuck am I??

I suffer from stargazing...

I need to stop deactivating my social media accounts and calling it therapy

- Written by Astha Kesri

- Visuals by Vaishnavi

The text has been formatted by amalgamating the various stages my brain tends to process emotions through. With poetry and, without it.

I am extremely thankful to Vaishnavi for visualizing this piece. I can’t think of anyone else who’d film my poetry as you have. I look forward to more such collaborations where both of us can pursue our love for creating art.

@metamorphesque @kill-your-darlin @ashstfu @ritikajyala

- "Self portraits, roses and her brain...on fire", Astha

" I can't explain myself, I'm afraid,

Sir, because I'm not myself,

you see. "

I am still stuck in a reality that doesn't exist anymore...