" If I Could Love You, I'd Write About Us Everyday" - Astha 24.01.2022

16.11.2021

I need to stop deactivating my social media accounts and calling it therapy

//Fulminare//

I seem to have fallen for grey skies as I see myself running past gushing winds ,laying flat on the grass  humming quotes from my favorite books,those I seem to have etched onto my skin , into unknown,  poetic , compositions of music, misery and love. And oh my! running through storms , hysterically laughing , barefoot , with my hands in the air , trying to capture this feeling for I wish it to last forever.

I have dreams,

big enough,

to be buried within...

I wanna be a cloud :(

I wish to be held close , curled up in bed, with someone whispering " it's alright, everything will be alright " , as I cry with outmost uncertainty and numbness / I wish to feel the warmth of their breath , as I lay with clenched fists, tears rolling down my cheeks , my nails etching moons on my sweaty palms / their hands slowly slipping into mine, asking me to hold on for a little longer, promising me that they'll never leave me / I wish to feel the prevailing silence mixed with a sense of belonging / I wish to live these moments with someone, I wish to not be left alone...

- my autumn soul, dying beautifully everyday...

"I have nothing to say" , and more lies...

3:33am

I've dreamt of better days, I still do...

I should've cried less, back when I could...

Take me...away.......

I need to stop overthinking...

What if I loose myself while trying to figure out why you left me ?

Awake , to make sense of everything...