The Truest Thing I’ve Ever Read

regulus was terrified of being a bad dad to harry.

t e r r i f i e d.

he worried, and he paced, and half the time he panicked if he was left alone with harry for even two minutes for james to go to the kitchen and bring back a bottle.

james was phenomenal with him, a natural. james was born to be a father. lily was an amazing doting mother, it all seemed to come so natural to her. mary always made harry squeal with excitement the second she walked into a room. but regulus felt as if he could never be a good father. he never had a good example, so how could he be?

so when harry potter was eleven months old, and took his first steps towards regulus, who at the time was not even paying attention to him. and james and lily screamed in excitement, scaring harry and causing him to not only just walk to regulus, but run to him.

well, regulus figured he must of not been doing to awful of a job.

and as he held a now crying harry who couldn’t understand why everyone was screaming and being so loud, and clung to his papa with tear stained cheeks and soft coos. regulus decided it didn’t matter how terrified he was of being a father, because he already was one, and harry seemed to think he was doing a pretty good job.

Achilles: Can you see us on the mountain?

Thetis: No. Why do you ask?

Achilles: No. Reason.

*later at the mountain*

Achilles: SHE COULDNT SEE US. FOR THREE YEARS.

Patroclus: Oh?

Achilles: FOR THREE YEARS. SHE COULDN'T SEE US. FOR. THREE. YEARS.

Patroclus: Mhm.

Achilles: THREE. YEARS.

Patroclus: Mhm.

Achilles: WE COULDVE BEEN FUCKING. FOR. THREE. YEARS.

Patroclus: Mhm.

Chiron: i ship it.

Thetis: What the fuck

Historians, about the relationship of Achilles and Patroclus: They were just good friends! Good bros! Nothing really gay about it!

Achilles: "My Patroclus"

Achilles: *sleeps with Patroclus*

Achilles: *the person he is closest to is Patroclus*

Achilles when his bedwife gets taken: *merely refuses to fight* Achilles when Patroclus is killed: *goes on a slaughter spree*

Achilles, when he finds out about Patroclus' death: *screams so loud he can be heard from the underworld*

Achilles: *demands his ashes be mingled with Patroclus'*

Achilles: *kills a fucking river/ defeats a river god when said god is trying to stop him from murdering Patroclus' killer*

Achilles: *murders Patroclus' killer knowing full well it will result in his death, although he wanted to live in glory*

Achilles: *drags Patroclus' killer around the city of Troy, in the dirt, three times, dishonouring him although he partly admired Hector before Patroclus' murder*

Achilles: *refuses to have Hector buried/sent for burial*

Achilles: *has to have Priam come to him and beg for his son's body for him to return Hector for burial*

Achilles: *prowls the battlefield, wanting death, so that he can be reunited with Patroclus*

Achilles: *smiles when he dies because he's going to be reunited with Patroclus*

*sirius walked into a closet where James and regulus may or may not have been making out and now the doors stuck*

James: Well this is nice, just the three of us

Sirius and regulus: No!

Ok, is anyone else as confused as I am about the jegulus fanfiction strike. Because I have absolutely no idea what’s going on.

I should NOT have laughed as much as I did

If you're cold he's cold

Give him drugs

Achilles to thetis: *casually leaning on the side of a rock* hey, so, um, just wondering, hypothetically, can you see me up on mount Pelion?

Thetis: I cannot

Achilles: cool, coolcoolcoolcool, great, thanks. Anyway, I’ll be going now. Bye

(Achilles absolutely sprinting back)

Achilles to Patroclus: hey man, so, my mum can’t see us up here, wanna bang?

Does anyone else have that little phase every once in a while where books and stuff become just words on a page or a screen?

It’s really sad.

Kanej🤝Hozier

Regulus: I’m having an internal breakdown but externally

Sirius: it doesn’t work like that, whore

Remus: shut up, I’m trying to get my daily 1 hour of sleep

James: guys, be nice

Peter: *asleep*

(This was actually a conversation that happened at my school camp)