Tma 171 Illustration

art tma podcast Gore and priests

like at all actually Coming back to this now Although the saying still stands and it has applied to my life before My intentions were not good this time Sure i never meant to harm my friend But my actions were fueled by the hate i felt towards that bastard I wanted to hurt him I wanted to get the satisfaction of hurting him I was only thinking of myself and my needs And projecting all the anger i repressed for almost 5 years towards another bastard whose face and name i never learned But i knew this bastards face and name And although ive always hated him after knowing what he did The fact i couldnt do anything to the other bastard or talk about the situation with someone because i had to keep a secret That made the hate grow and grow over the years And i let that anger and hate grow unchecked And when i found him... I just saw red I need my actions to stem out of love from now on and not hate or anger And work on myself I need to be better than this I failed my friend in more ways than one I feel like a drunk driver who accidentally killed a kid Sure you didnt mean to kill that kid But you still chose to drink and you still chose to drive in that state when there's so much other things you could've done Jesus christ i hate myself

im sorry mistakes failure i really fucked it up i never wanted to hurt you

please so tired im tired I fear this will never come true My doctor doesn't bother with a diagnosis and much less finding a medication that works Is it too much to ask to be able to live without relying on substance abuse? Weed has been the only thing that's helped through this depressive episode but i fear i could become addicted to it I do believe this illness is biological and that i need the right medication to help me But for that i need to know whether its bipolar or bpd And my doctor is not helping much in getting a diagnosis Even though i've asked he hasnt made any tests or anything The only thing he's just doing now (my next appointment) is he's gonna interview people close to me But i've asked for a diagnosis since i first started seeing him

recovery motivational