I’m Not Gonna Lie, The Whole “what If A Big, Hairy Trans Man Started Using The Women’s Bathroom?

anyway terfs have found out about the term transandrophobia and are claiming that what trans men/mascs experience is just misogyny so actually i am once again rejecting the idea that i only experience misogyny and am going to say that what i experience is SEXISM going forward, especially because i also experience intersexism.

Somehow there are people on this website who can say “I’m a transfeminist” and also “it’s okay to misgender trans people if they disagree with me” and not realize they’re not really being transfeminist.

I really am just baffled at how many leftists still treat men and women like they're different species especially in trans spaces. Like it's just nonsensical to me to think one gender is more likely to be evil or bad over the other, whether that's based on pronouns or someone's body or someone upbringing. Not only have we seen time and time again that this "unique ability yo be evil" just doesn't exist (literally any person of any gender can and does actively perpetuate the patriarchy, transphobia, cissexism and more) but the idiots that charge into the transandrophobia conversation acting like trans men are evil or stupid are Also from every demographic.

It's not a gendered thing, it's a problem with people falling for radical feminism and refusing to see equal rights as a non-gendered thing, and also refusing to accept intersectionlity as anything more than "having she/her pronouns makes your life harder"

I'm not interested in arguing with ppl that think men of any kind are not worthy of love, acceptance and support, or that pronouns or upbringing or genitals makes someone more likely to be evil. Punitive, accusatory and guilt-based politics should be beneath all of us and yet it's the core of the belief system of so many.

Another facet of this conversation I absolutely loath is how it necessitates prioritizing binary trans ppl and perisex language, because "men is evil" mirroring white cis feminism again, doesn't work in spaces beyond its original closed box lmao

To any trans men or mascs scrolling through discourse tags right now:

I know things on tumblr may seem dire, but I promise the majority of the LGBT+ community doesn’t think this way.

You are allowed to be loud, to get angry. You deserve to have a voice. You have the right to speak up when people say things that hurt you- yes, even if these people are also LGBT+

Just know that these assholes DO NOT represent all of us. Don't let them trick you into believing otherwise. They may convince themselves that they are the “voice of the community” or whatever, but they’re just another hateful clique of bullies.

It’s not your job to fix those bigots’ toxic worldviews; you owe them nothing. You’re doing plenty by continuing to exist and advocating for yourself. Keep doing it as loudly and proudly as possible.

The rest of us have got your back, and you’re welcome here. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

I don't usually reblog from people who want to "debate" the existence of transandrophobia or dismiss the issues trans men face because I think it's more important to center transmasc/trans men's voices in this conversation.

But this is a reminder that if I DO engage with someone like that on here, DO NOT harass them! Also, don't try to argue with someone who's committed to seeing everything you say in the worst possible light. Just block and move on.

i do just want people to be aware that, while "assigned sex at birth" has been widely reclaimed and generalized to general populations, it did not start through personal identification or as a positive term. it was coined between doctors to discuss what sex to surgically and socially assign intersex infants, children, and in some cases, adults. one example of a study using this term is here, mostly inspired by john money [its a heavy read if you decide to open it]. i do just want people to be aware of the history of this term before claiming that it is "coined by the intersex community"—it wasnt, it was forced on us by the medical community.

Oh definitely. I've found that most online bullies are much less confident when they can't hide behind a screen, but some will continue their assholery in public. I'm genuinely so sorry that happened to you, that's fucked up.

I've met people who were proudly transmeds in the "Queer Friendly" dorms I stayed in in college. Had a guy tell me I was "just confused about my gender" to my face.

I've personally had an easier time rallying support in real life. Talking to other club members one-on-one and saying "hey, so-and-so made some really transphobic comments that upset me today, did you notice that happening?" usually worked. Sometimes calling out the behavior in front of everyone helped as well; chances are other people were upset by it but too afraid to speak up.

And if all that didn't fix it? The space wasn't worth it, and it was time to find a new one.

Can we take a moment to think about the younger trans men and mascs on tumblr right now?

I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.

Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.

It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.

We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.

To any younger trans men or transmasculine people reading this:

The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.

Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.

If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.

You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.

Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!

Tumblr is great because there are people who without a hint of irony will essentially say “being mean is a fundamental part of my ideology” and expect you to respect that

If you actually take the threat of forced detransition seriously, then you should recognize "Conservative transphobes don't want to kill transmascs, they just want to detransition them" for the callous and out-of-touch statement that it is.

"Ugh, you're actually lucky they don't want to kill you, they just want to permanently cut you off from gender-affirming care, rape you, trap you in marriage and pregnancy, and force you to live the rest of your life as their property."

Wow, I feel so blessed.

i'm going to keep banging this drum forever, stop treating groups of marginalised people as "sides" in discourse. stop saying you distrust trans women because of the evil hysterical transradfems. stop saying you distrust non-binary people because of the evil privileged theyfabs. stop saying you distrust trans men because of the evil MRA transandrobros. stop saying you distrust intersex people because of the evil transphobic cis invaders.

stop hearing people complain about bigotry with no comment on who the person perpetuating it was and imagining a marginalised person in your mind. stop justifying bigotry against others because it's against the "side" of discourse that you personally dislike. stop assuming everything a certain marginalised group talks about has to do with whatever petty discourse you're involved in. stop tolerating blatant bigots because you see them as "on your side".

if it's getting to a point where online discourse is so important to you that it influences how you view marginalised people who have done nothing to you, then maybe it's time to log off for a while and start hiking or knitting or something, mostly because it just can't be very good for your health to constantly prime yourself to be anxious or angry around everyone you meet.