i'm going to keep banging this drum forever, stop treating groups of marginalised people as "sides" in discourse. stop saying you distrust trans women because of the evil hysterical transradfems. stop saying you distrust non-binary people because of the evil privileged theyfabs. stop saying you distrust trans men because of the evil MRA transandrobros. stop saying you distrust intersex people because of the evil transphobic cis invaders.
stop hearing people complain about bigotry with no comment on who the person perpetuating it was and imagining a marginalised person in your mind. stop justifying bigotry against others because it's against the "side" of discourse that you personally dislike. stop assuming everything a certain marginalised group talks about has to do with whatever petty discourse you're involved in. stop tolerating blatant bigots because you see them as "on your side".
if it's getting to a point where online discourse is so important to you that it influences how you view marginalised people who have done nothing to you, then maybe it's time to log off for a while and start hiking or knitting or something, mostly because it just can't be very good for your health to constantly prime yourself to be anxious or angry around everyone you meet.
I’d rather be considered the ‘wrong’ kind of trans man by being authentically myself and happy, than suppress/kill off the parts of myself that other queer and cis people think are ‘evil’ to earn a ‘one of the good ones’ badge that they’ll strip me of at any hint of noncompliance to their whims.
why does every queer turn into a redpilled anti-woke far-right comedian fan the moment you tell them they're intersexist like 'stop inventing new terms 🤡🤡 why is everything a slur now 🤡🤡🤡 that one friend that's too woke 🤡🤡' like it's actually surreal how often it happens. i desperately want to know what makes them think that shits okay.
I keep meeting transfem(me)s IRL who genuinely believe that transmasc erasure is a real problem and that we transmascs have it just as bad as they do. Today I spoke to a gal who actually thought transmascs have it worse. I responded to her that I believe everyone in the trans community shares a deep pain, beyond quantifying, that there's not really a hierarchy to our pain. There are so many amazing women out in the world who get it, who cherish and love us and feel our pain with us, just as we (transmascs) cherish and love them and feel their pain with them.
The haters and the division-mongers are the outlier. They're just louder in online spaces. Hate and division will always lose. Love and unity is the way forward.
friendly reminder that intersex trans people exist and they arent your fucking business and telling us "thats impossible" when we share an experience is entirely unhelpful
im a trans woman with enough of a uterus/ovary to menstruate occasionally. "trans women cant have periods" is not only invalidating to perisex trans women/trans women who can't menstruate but still have a hormonal cycle that causes some symptoms of periods (cramps, mood swings/shifts, etc.) but also invalidates intersex trans women who do have the ability to menstruate
and i shouldnt have to hide the fact i do menstruate to be seen as "valid." i shouldnt have to hide that i used medical bias against intersex people to get my transition surgeries covered and done at a younger age. i shouldnt have to hide the fact i had to go on testosterone because my body only produces miniscule amounts of both hormones but i have severe reactions to estrogen/progesterone that fucks with my body more than testosterone while still needing some sort of sex hormone to be able to live my life normally. yes, this has given me privilege in some areas. yes, it is different from the experience of a perisex trans woman. no, this does not make me transmasc or not actually trans. i do not feel comfortable identifying as transmasc because i am not a man, and even if i was, i presented as primarily male most of my life and was percieved as such. perhaps if i'd had my "female" sex characteristics removed instead, i would identify differently, but my reality is that i live my life as a trans woman, even if i am currently indistinguishable from a cis woman and many people percieve me as such.
anything that targets cis women like abortion bans and child marriage are going to also affect trans men/mascs
anything that targets trans people like hrt bans and hate crimes are going to also affect trans men/mascs
and there are also issues that disproportionately affect trans men/mascs like being denied health care based on medical records indicating that they are or were taking testosterone or the harms that come with chest binding for long periods of time or the increased rates of depression/attempted suicide/sexual assault that trans men/mascs suffer from
all these different types of oppression intersect in a way that we call:
Somehow there are people on this website who can say “I’m a transfeminist” and also “it’s okay to misgender trans people if they disagree with me” and not realize they’re not really being transfeminist.
It is so annoying when people respond to "the queer community has an anti-masc problem" with "well society loves and praises masculinity!" Okay... yes... but that's not what we're talking about 😭 The queer community ≠ society as a whole. Also? The society that praises masculinity does NOT praise queer masculinity. Cishet society does not praise butches, masculine trans people, or anyone who is masc in a queer way. And unfortunately, many queer people have this same problem.
In simple terms, I think the main problem with transandrophobia within the trans community is viewing trans men like they’re supposed to be allies to the community as opposed to actual trans people.
Nix, They/Them, Queer, 20s Sporadically active.Do not gender me.
368 posts