When I See A Tiny Kitten

Story time y'all. I was just about to go to bed when the LOUD AS HELL FIRE ALARM in my apartment complex starts going off. Flashing lights and BEH BEH BEH. I outside all upset, thinking my night's ruined because it takes FOREVER for them to get it off and it's FREEZING out. Then I open Tumblr and this post is the first one I read, conveniently after I just read a fix involving a wild boar, and it just really made me smile. Thanks, people of Tumblr, for making a shitty experience less shitty

Needless to say, I am HORRIFIED.

Mom: What time is it? Brother: Summer Time! Dad: Time to get a watch Me: Adventure Time! Me: Ha! We did, we did a thing! The, the, uh, whatever nevermind

The greatest thing you possibly could've

The heck did I just find

Types of fanfic summaries and what they mean

First paragraph of the actual fic: I judge the whole fic by the first words and I assume you do too so here it is

"Just a series or drabbles/headcanons/prompts": Someday I want to write an incredible 200k fic but for now have fun going through all the chapters trying to figure out which one is the one you actually want to read

"Will X be able to find love before Y happens?" And other questions: I read entirely too many YA novels

Quote from the actual fic: I watch entirely too many movie trailers

"Basically just an X fic with Y characters": I can probably write a good summary if I cared a little more

Song lyrics: I have no idea how summaries work and I'm trying to be like the people with poem quotes

Poem quotes: either the best thing you've ever read or 13-year old English literature purple prose there is no in-between

Lol I can't do summaries: I'm not entirely sure if I want you to read my fic

"Wtf is this" or other author questioning themselves: it's either porn or crack

Explicit rated fics: listen my man I know you're not gonna really read the summary just read the tags and decide if my sin is the sin for you

Paragraph of tags and one line summary: ok listen I can't do summaries but I've got this ok IVE GOT THIS

dictionary definition: fluff or angst here you go

Either a meme or a tumblr imagine your otp: I was bored and I had emotions about my ship you can have emotions about them too

Paragraph from the source the fic is from: I've basically written my headcanon and made it prettier

"I'm so sorry" or "I cried while writing this" : I was in a sad mood and I needed a healthy way to release these emotions so now y'all get to suffer

No summary: it's either porn or a small drabble and it all depends on the word count

Actual fic summary: *rocks back on old wheelchair* listen kid *smokes cigarette* I've seen and read a lot of things *blows smoke* and I know it's hard but there's still hope in this world ok? *looks into the distance* also you might wanna read the tags because the chances of gore and/or character death being in my fic have gone from 0 to 75

I've been collecting since before I was double digits lol, so quite a few of these were gifts, but most of the collection is souvenirs from traveling. I try to get one for every new place I go to. @godza I actually also have a problem with some of the bigger ones detaching at the base, my gigantic christmas one, the ballerina, and the Las Vagas one, always sad when they start deteriorating. My favorite is peter pan, it's one of mine that plays music and the decals on the side are so nice, tho a lot are broken now (moved 4 times since I got it as a kid lol) or the owl, it's what I got when I visited Athens, Greece years ago.

@sctir my snowglobe collection! bad picture since theyre on a super high shelf. from left to right we have a super big gay one that plays some music box song i dont know, a tiny light up mermaid one, a free hp one i got at tbe bookstore ten years ago, an autumn tinkerbell one (my fave), a germany one, a london one, a pencil holder thats more like one of those goo things rhan a snow globe, a manatee one, a dolphin one, a turtle one, a shell one, and finally a chicago one.

i used to have a flamingo one from florida but i broke it when dancing to loona girl front too hard. i have a problem with some of my more elaborate ones where the figure inside starts to detach from the base. sad! but theyre all so pretty and i like them. most of the sea ones are from my favorite beach, i try to get a new snowglobe everytime i go

Reblogging for the everything

The Last Words Of 25 Famous Dead Writers

When you’ve dedicated your life to words, it’s important to go out eloquently.

Ernest Hemingway: “Goodnight my kitten.” Spoken to his wife before he killed himself.

Jane Austen: “I want nothing but death.” In response to her sister, Cassandra, who was asking her if she wanted anything.

J.M Barrie: “I can’t sleep.”

L. Frank Baum: “Now I can cross the shifting sands.”

Edgar Allan Poe: “Lord help my poor soul.”

Thomas Hobbes: “I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap into the dark,”

Alfred Jarry: “I am dying…please, bring me a toothpick.”

Hunter S. Thompson: “Relax — this won’t hurt.”

Henrik Ibsen: “On the contrary!”

Anton Chekhov: “I haven’t had champagne for a long time.”

Mark Twain: “Good bye. If we meet—” Spoken to his daughter Clara.

Louisa May Alcott: “Is it not meningitis?” Alcott did not have meningitis, though she believed it to be so. She died from mercury poison.

Jean Cocteau: “Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying.”

Washington Irving: “I have to set my pillows one more night, when will this end already?”

Leo Tolstoy: “But the peasants…how do the peasants die?”

Hans Christian Andersen: “Don’t ask me how I am! I understand nothing more.”

Charles Dickens: “On the ground!” He suffered a stroke outside his home and was asking to be laid on the ground.

H.G. Wells: “Go away! I’m all right.” He didn’t know he was dying.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “More light.”

W.C. Fields: “Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!” “Carlotta” was Carlotta Monti, actress and his mistress.

Voltaire: “Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.” When asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

Dylan Thomas: “I’ve had 18 straight whiskies…I think that’s the record.”

George Bernard Shaw: “Dying is easy, comedy is hard.”

Henry David Thoreau: “Moose…Indian.”

James Joyce: “Does nobody understand?”

i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

Anybody know what happened to the cat?

People horrifically fucking up facts about evolution and genetics too support their stupid beliefs or to seem smart and “rational” is probably one of my big pet peeves 

my favorite genre is “kitchen sink” tbqh. yes i want your metaphysical space opera Gothic haunted house horror-comedy. yes i want your medieval road trip heist mystery. give me time traveling werewolves and noir detective robots teaming up to fight alien supervillains. i want this sundae with every topping in the shop