Hey, Trama + Time = Comedy

Say it Ain’t So on infinite repeat in a Barnes & Nobel that never closes

I was thinking about how vampires need permission to enter a home and then immediately thought: Damn, vampires would make really bad house burglars.

Today, completely unprompted, on his own, my dad, who even just two years ago told me I would never be a man, got me a “Happy Birthday, Son” card. He still has a long way to go as far as support goes, but for him that was a huge step and it means the world to me that he cares enough to keep trying. My point is that where there is love, there is hope, so don’t give up on them.

I would like to clarify that this post does not mean you should stay with/coddle your abusers. If a relationship is damaging to your physical/mental health, then absolutely cut it off. What I am saying is that if they care about you more than their preconceived notions of you, they will see how much happier you are after transitioning and they will work to overcome their biases (even if it takes them far longer than it should to realize).

I didn’t read the blog name and I was just like, “yeah that makes sense” and if that doesn’t tell you how fucked up 2020 has been I don’t know what will

My dad burned the moon with a flamethrower.

I have come up with a better metaphor than “you can’t pour from an empty cup” for burnout. You can’t boil an empty kettle. Pouring from an empty cup just gets you nowhere. Trying to boil an empty kettle can ruin the kettle, the stove, and burn down your house if you keep trying it.

The younger generations aren’t here to mess around

This

nothing brings me more joy than repeatedly doing a bit that my mother dislikes

i need to stop picking at my face but the problem is theres Textures On There and i would prefer if there Werent

Prosecution: Your honor, the defendant has been scamming people into buying fake “immortality elixirs” for years!

Defense: Objection! Your honor, the defense requests the prosecution specify exactly how many years?

Prosecution: Gladly, your honor. As you can see from the arrest records submitted into evidence, the defendant has had the audacity to continue committing this felony for 148 years!

Judge: I’m sorry, did I hear that correctly? The defendant has been selling immortality elixirs for 148 years?!

Prosecution: Yes, your honor, the earliest documented arrest was in 1886.

Judge: It’s 2014.

Prosecution: Yes, your honor.

Judge: And you don’t see anything weird about that? Anything at all?

Defense: In light of this stupidity, the defense demands the immediate release of my client followed by a drop of all charges and would like to file a lawsuit against the arresting officer for slander.

Judge: Yes. Right. Bailiff, please release the defendant. Oh, and bring me any of the elixirs taken into evidence.

I was not expecting quite so many people to reblog this with a shout out to their own personal brand of anti-anxiety medication, but I guess its nice to know a lot of us are just out here tricking our brains into doing basic tasks, cartoon character high-jink style

My brain, having a meltdown like a toddler: everything is bad and awful and I absolutely refuse to function in these working conditions *dumps a shitload of adrenaline into the nervous system*

Me, sighing heavily and holding up lorazepam: would ya do it for a Scooby snack?