A Psychologist Asked Me If I Think About Hurting Myself Or Others. I Said,"No." I Lied.

It's sad providing so little to anyone else, they never even bother to message you.

I think my life has a shortage of beautiful women with tattoos.

Stars

If I have a tombstone, I want this on it. Or pepperoni and cheese. What would you like on your tombstone?

Depression is a war. 

Finding what you're looking for

Someone I know once told me his whole family holds the belief nothing good comes from introspection. As someone who has spent most of his life afraid of saying what I mean, doing what I want, and being what I want to be, this sounded like sage advice. Spending too much time worrying about nothings has taken its toll, and it's cost me more than one love so far. Was he right, though? Does cutting out self-consciousness totally do any good? Would it have helped me to be like that in those relationships I truly believed were better than I will ever have or deserve? Would that level of wanton ignorance be a blessing in the search for someone new? Is being how I am good enough? Were those really the perfect relationships I utterly fucked up? A part says I will never have love again, but another part rails against that notion because it all comes down to knowing what you want, having a goal, beginning at the end. Looking back, I never had those. I was so wrapped up in just getting into a relationship, I refused to see what truly was happening before my eyes. It almost killed me. Self-destructive, suicidal, depressed, angry, empty. Yet, because simply having someone meant more to me than being with them, I failed to turn away, and it hurt us both. I was too afraid to be me, so I settled with being a hideous visage of myself. Wearing different faces day-in day-out, and the longer it continued, the worse the relationships got. My relationship experience is little: Two, long-term things that turned into nightmares. Yet, both had several common denominators: 1) Me being an idiot; 2) Me not knowing what I wanted - which would have prevented both of those even starting in the first place. Sure, I liked them, but in the end, we didn't know each other fully. Looking back now, I can't believe we actually managed to get anywhere in the first place. We did like each other, but we settled. NEVER SETTLE FOR A WHOLE. Sure, once you know what you want, you may overlook certain aspects (physically, mentally, etc.), but NEVER give up everything for someone. If you're waking up irritated by being next to them, by having to call/text them, or by having to see them, you have overstayed your welcome in that relationship. Now, before arguing over the above, I mean irritated by everything they are for more than just a short time. People argue, disagree, fight, etc. Those do happen, but those aren't what I mean. If you either can't say "I love you," or it only feels like a hollow ring in your ears, things aren't working. It's time to change and find what you truly wanted all along. Finding that person or figuring out what they are is up to you. Like I said, I've only been in two, long-term relationships. Only ever been with five people total in a sexual sense. Taken me a long time to put much of any thought into why I messed up so bad. It would be nice to think myself as a person isn't terrible. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm as much of a monster as my exes accused me of being to them. Or, maybe we fit so poorly and fought it, we finally found we hated each other. Know what you want, take time to figure things out, be yourself, and don't let fear of anything push you away or pull you in. If a match is unlikely, don't rush. Save yourself and your other the loss down the road. Sure, feelings will likely be hurt, but you will only hurt more forcing a nightmare to continue. It's alright to walk away. It's alright to say "No." It's alright to be picky. Just be respectful.

If Harrison Ford has a Twitter or anything like that, it'd be awesome if he posted, "Damn it, Chewie."

No one else thinks it's disturbing?

I'm not sure when this "daddy" craze began, but it seems to have picked up in the last few years. Why? No one else finds it exceedingly troubling there are guys who insist on being called "daddy"? The only people I'd ever want to call me that are my kids. Or, is that the point? These guys have some deep-seated child rape/incest fantasies they satiate by demanding their significant other pretend to be a helpless prepubescent? And the flip side: Girls who have some father-figure obsession. I get the dominant relationship thing. "Master" and "sir" I get. Bondage, pain, biting, slapping, choking, forcing, &ct all make sense. "Daddy" makes me queasy.