[remembers Suicide Jokes Are Bad For My Mental Health] YOU Should Kill Yourself

she nothing on my nothing til i nothing. celibacy

When you transition people tell you “it’s like watching someone die”. Like yeah a fucking loser died. Just the absolute lamest dude you ever met. A real dogshit guy just bought it. So sorry your absolute failure of a man is gone and has been replaced by a hot chick, must be hard for you 🙄

idk if i should have cooked

start saying "im gonna kill somebody" instead of "im gonna kms" to introduce a positive, pro-active mindset ☺️

so is no one going to talk about how bdubs, my lovely minecraft builder content creator, genuinely considered sending joel a pipe bomb

Please don't make me be woke today

im not christian but i do believe in the power of prayer. for this reason i keep a little homonculus in a dog crate under my bed which i have raised as a devout catholic. whenever i want something in my life to change i poke him with a stick and he clasps his grubby little paws together and starts chanting in latin. his prayers always go through because he has never known sin

im so glad that mumbo gets to show off how good he is at murder this episode. turns out the only thing holding him back is how much better he is at dying

Hyperfixation so bad people think of me when they see it

by Haruka Kurebayashi