How The Fuck Am I Supposed To Act Like A Normal Functional Human Being When The Character Exists

Okay but we could take this further: a whole AU where everyone’s powers are reversed in some way or another.

A Dazai whose ability actually causes others’ abilities to activate when he touches them. (Forever Human)

An Oda whose ability lets him see seconds into the past rather than the future. (Flawed)

A Yosano whose ability kills perfectly healthy people instead of healing those near death. (Thou Shalt Perish)

A Kenji who is strong naturally but his ability makes him become weak but happy. (Defeated by the Sun)

A Fukuzawa whose ability makes the abilities of those in ranks above him near impossible to control. (No Men Are Equal)

A Chuuya whose gravity manipulation is limited only to putting extreme gravity on things he touches, and instead of corruption he gets purification, which actually restores him and limits his gravity ability, allowing him to use it how he would under normal circumstances. (Upon the Holly Smile)

A Bram who isn’t a vampire and can cure vampires instead of creating them. (Vampiris’nt)

A Fyodor who ACTUALLY FUCKING DIES.

Bsd except Atsushi is a reverse Weretiger aka he is a tiger that can transform into a human.

The Orphanage still ended up with him but treated him like a beast, only letting him out on the full moon.

But human Atsushi is rather unhinged and doesn't human well so feral tiger boy it is.

He's not a rampaging tiger, hes a weirdly very behaved random tiger all things considered. But he's still freaking people out and he's a menace on either form.

Atsushi can hold his human form better with All Men Are Equals. But Dazai will boop him and bam giant white tiger that bonks him on the head.

Akutagawa is just screaming insults at a very bewildered and than pissed off tiger. He's roaring and Akutugawa is screaming and they come to a werid agreement.

Atsushi is still a member of the Agency, tiger or human. He's got a lil badge and everything. Dazai is just like nah its cool guys this is our office tiger.

Cut to him getting bonked on the head, again.

Oni Chuuya

Mori finally bans toys from all mafia meetings after Dazai and Chuuya got bored at a very important negotiation and initiated a water gun fight with each other. Bringing game consoles was already pushing it, but the water guns were the last straw.

This backfires however, when at the next meeting they both attend, Dazai once again gets bored and just pulls out an actual gun and starts shooting at Chuuya. Who catches the bullets with his ability and proceeds to pelt Dazai with them in return.

If Atsushi gets transferred

Akutagawa: Jinko, it’s 4am why on earth are you making Chakuze?

Atsushi: Because I’ve lost control over my life.

Dear Friends,

I write to you with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart. After 188 days of displacement, constant fear, and struggling to survive, we managed to escape with our lives and reach Egypt. But the pain didn’t stop there. Just yesterday, we lost my children's grandfather 💔, not due to direct war, but because of malnutrition and the lack of basic life necessities. We couldn’t save him, just as we couldn’t save our home or our dreams.

The rest of my family is still trapped in the war, suffering the same harsh conditions that led to the passing of my children's grandfather. We are here trying to build a new life, but we have lost everything. We lost our home, and my children were deprived of their schools and universities. Even my eldest son, who worked so hard to build his future, lost his job and saw his dreams shattered.😔

We are now in desperate need of your help. We seek to secure a safe home that will provide us and our children with basic needs. Life in Egypt is extremely difficult, and prices are soaring beyond our reach. All we ask for is a chance to rebuild our lives and secure a better future for our children.🙏🏼

From the depths of my heart, I ask you to stand by us in these difficult times. Your support means hope and life to us.🙌🏼🇵🇸

https://gofund.me/59e9578a

I hope your family can soon make it to a better life in Egypt! 🇵🇸🇵🇸

https://gofund.me/abbc2759

Chuuya did in fact have a big ass sword.

(head)canon that kunikida is the only one who carries a gun with him. headcanon its because kyouka isn't interested in killing. yosano thinks her giant knives are better. kenji is far too young. atsushi isn't trained. fukuzawa strictly uses his katana. and finally. dazai, tanizaki, and rampo are banned from guns because they would shoot anyone who inconveniences/annoys them.

If we as a fandom are going to yap endlessly about Chuuya, can we at least acknowledge the fact that when this man uses corruption he moves around like a literal cryptid goblin thing?

Why he jump like that?

What are you, a skinwalker?

It’s worse in the manga y’all.

Yea no, this is spooky behavior.

ART IS MADE TO BE EATEN, ITS CALLED CONSUMING FOR A REASON

I know u guys r prob getting sick of me, a fandom blog, spewing doom n gloom but it is so incredibly important for your safety and others to be informed right now. trump wants to own the gaza strip and for Palestinians ‘to find somewhere else to live’. the first migrants have officially been sent to guantanamo bay. the us made a deal w el salvador to deport american criminals to their prison system. the cia has offered a buy out to “trumpify” the organization. we have left the paris climate agreement. elon musk has access to national security details including the treasury. gotten rid of dei and put pressure on corporations to do the same. wants to get rid of the dept of education, osha, federal aid, etc. has tried (and failed) to impose tariffs on our countries long time allies. and this is just name a few. but don’t worry in the fascist racist rapist felon with billionaires backing him and their interests def got this 🙏🏼

Chuuya needs a hug.