Professor Monty And His Student Assistant Regulus Black And Monty Keeps Trying To Set Regulus Up With

sirius black headcanons because i am still not over the brainrot about him

takes him a while to fall asleep

cuts his hair by himself, or marlene does it for him. he doesn’t cut his during the summer, despite getting hot, he just puts it up

he’s a morning person, and he can also function on little to no sleep

he loves driving, he’s the only one out of his friend group to have a driving license and to actually drive

really flexible

does other people’s essays and assignments for cigarettes. the charging depends on the subject, how long it has to be, and whether the person he’s helping wants it to be longer than it’s supposed to be or not

very competitive

doesn’t talk to a lot of people, and he’s very selective of the people he talks to, because he thinks that quite a few people are wasting his time

chainsmoker

took him quite a while to start getting along with lily; she thought he is arrogant and stuck up, he considered her to be annoying

fiercely protective of his friends

used to get along really well with bellatrix, due to their similarities. during family events, they always snuck out together (sometimes accompanied by their siblings), gossiping and smoking

really high pain tolerance, it’s actually scary

I can fix him (no really I can)

forever grateful that marlene mckinnon didnt live long enough to see her childhood best friend james potter be betrayed by her other childhood best friend peter pettigrew

There is nothing better than being a multishipper

leaving kudos on ao3 isn’t enough I need to be able to eat the fic

Slytherin skittles soft headcanons

Regulus has a "Doll" mode where he basically dissosiates and acts like the "Perfect Pureblood heir" his family desired. His friends all have different ways of dealing when hes like this

Pandora strokes his hair and sings lullubies, sometimes in french

Dorcas does all his homework on his behalf after wrapping him in blankets so he can cool down

Marlene paints his nails and rambles about all the gossip and rumors floating around the school

Evan will move him to the glass windows by the lake and watch the water silently by his side

Barty will make an utter fool of himself or start making outragous claims like "Im pretty sure the sun is an illusion and were just being gaslit into believing in it" because he knows it makes Reggie laugh

When Pandora and Evan were little and one of them had nightmares, they would sneak into eachother's rooms. Now at Hogwarts the first time Pandora had a nightmare she broke into the Slytherin common room. Now every time Evan misses his sister he knows he can just want her to come and there she is, they claim "twin telepathy". Also No one knows how she keeps getting in, she doesn't know the password- but who tf is going to stop her from seeing her brother??

Every time Barty gets an angry owl from his dad, he gets so overwhelmed by anger to the point being called by their name makes him want to scream. So all his friends start calling him "idiot" "pretty boy" "raccoon" "dumbass" respectivly until he calms down.

Dorcas is an overachiver and will run herself into the ground trying to be the "best" and meet her own perfectionist standards. They sometimes steal her homework to do it on her behalf, shes so sleep deprived the only way she notices it wasnt her is no one but Evan has a perfect immitation of her handwriting. She appreciates it nonetheless

Marlene impulse dyes or cuts her hair, peirce's her ears, gives herself a stick and poke. Anything that proves she is in control of herself and that her decisions have an impact. But of course one too many patchy jobs, choppy bangs, and infected peircings or tattoos and things had to change. Now she can go to her friends, demand a septum and Evan is pulling out some rubber gloves, Regulus some expensive jewlery, and Dorcas and Pandora grab face masks and other self care stuff to do afterwards. Barty always insists on doing it as well, that way if she does get dresscoded she isn't alone.

can't help but think like, bro. if you wanted to attack the archive, good job i guess?

but if you actually wanted to erase the queer + nsfw + queer nsfw content that ao3 houses...good fucking luck, dude (sarcastic).

people are always going to create. people are always going to be exploring the meaning of humanity or morality or any complex emotion through their art.

governments and groups alike have tried to censor literature in history. that sort of sentiment has indeed led to book burnings and regimes and horrible ways of attempting to control the human mind. but do you know what it didn't do? it didn't fucking stop those writers. it didn't stop their responses. it didn't stop efforts to restore and preserve after the worst had passed.

like, if that is your unironic objective for this whole situation. i don't know what to tell you. lol. humans, we are always going to create. queer people, we're always going to have pride in our identity and expression. authors and artists and creators, we are always writing and drawing and creating for ourselves, for our inquiry, and for our communities.

if ao3 really goes down for a prolonged period of time, people will find other ways. if you take away one website, people will move to others. if you take every one of those down (and i hope it drives you bankrupt doing so), then, eventually, people will create their own archives. online. in real life. of course it won't be the same. and it'll be difficult. but, i guess my point is that we won't stop.

like imagine telling a human to stop making art. lol. companies will stop doing something if it doesn't make a profit, but we aren't creating for money. what we're creating for, our causes and motives and passions, are things a cyber attack/acts of hate will always fail to stifle and take away.

LOOK at Barty canon description!!!! he is literally the WORST omg hahahaha

Barty. Need i say more?

yknow you can just TELL when a fic was made by chatgpt or at least partly written by chat gpt