R3v3rie - ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Reverie ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

her name is Laura. she is witty and hilarious and just a child. fuck you. you horrible ass bitch, not even for hurting me but for fucking daring to lay your monstrous paws on her again after what you did the first time. you disgust me. your girlfriend disgusts me. move out of that damn house and grow the fuck up. asshole scum. may the Gods torture you for the rest of your godforsaken waste of a human life.

when richard siken said "love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. it's like a religion. it's terrifying. no one will ever want to sleep with you" and when halsey said "'why do you need love so badly? bet it's because of her daddy, bet that she'll never be happy' I bet that you're right and I'll show you in time cause I sabotage the things I love the most" and when emily burns said "tongue-tied, screaming on the inside, when I say that we broke up and they ask why. Are you crying in the shower like a freak, or is it just me?" and when maisie peters said "all the hows and the whens and whys I thought it would be us for life" and when lauren jauregui said "she doesn't let me have control anymore, I must have crossed a line, I must have lost my mind" and when hozier said "i think of loss and I can only think of you" and when-

feeling v sub-human as of late. i’m not that scary to talk to i don’t think?? i know i have a disorder. i know i’m like a pitbull and everyone seems to think i eat toddlers. but i genuinely just want to talk to humans n have real friends for once,

like i love poetry, and folk & indie music, and playing ukulele. i love my gods and i read tarot sometimes and collect cool rocks. i have the cutest cats and want people to send pictures of them to. my favorite color is a muted tone of forest green.

i’m a pitbull, but i think i am a little human sometimes too. i promise the genes don’t make me a completely bad dog. someone just take a chance on me, im begging,

it hurts so bad that i am utterly speechless. nothing comes to mind when i try to write. no creative symbols, no metaphors, nothing. just raw pain.

why will i never be enough to be loved by you, father?

i just wish to be perceived as gentle and kind. that’s it, that is truly all i want.

it hurts to know this will never be.

i’m splitting on you so hard my sebastian wilder it’s not even funny

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

i’m having constant nightmares anymore. this isn’t fucking fair.

I can always kill myself. That's the only comforting thought I have.

i also miss this girl who i loved with my absolute everything i had in me but i can’t ever write about her, the loss is too much, the gap between us feels too big,, i don’t know where to start with her- i never did. but Gods above that doesn’t mean that i don’t miss her often. i tried reaching out first but idk, don’t have the confidence to try again. i got angry with her recently due to my idiot boyfriend not explaining a situation well, and i always having a worse bark than my bite.

she was more than all the moons and stars in the universe, how could i ever not miss her? my absolute other half, twin flame, soulmate, my person.