I’m Having Constant Nightmares Anymore. This Isn’t Fucking Fair.

i don’t know who i am. i feel like i have no personality of my own i just mirror others. i want to be me, but i don’t know who she is. how do i find her?? why can’t i just know who i am????

⋆ Black and Orange Thinking

⋆ Dog

⋆ Untethered

⋆ The Soldier, The Sinner 

⋆  Ballet

i just wish to be perceived as gentle and kind. that’s it, that is truly all i want.

it hurts to know this will never be.

life is so bad i literally want to kms lol :’)

words from howl by Florence + the machine

Untitled 9.12.23 (excerpt) - My head lolled against the cool glass of the SUV’s window, Bridgers blasting through air pods, the eternally grey world of Western Pennsylvania blurred by intermittent rain. I have the thought that my therapist is the only person on this planet who truly knows me. That she alone is whom I have laid my soul bare to and has been the only one to accept its abominable sin without falter. And even this yields to the fact that this is what she is trained to be. An artificial connection forged on the basis of years of schooling. No one will ever understand me just because they want to, nor just because they care.

i’m splitting on you so hard my sebastian wilder it’s not even funny

i just wish to be perceived as gentle and kind. that’s it, that is truly all i want.

it hurts to know this will never be.