Sometimes I Wonder If Michael Stalks This Account, He Has No Idea It Exists, But I Still Get Nervous
sometimes i wonder if michael stalks this account, he has no idea it exists, but i still get nervous to reveal specific details about him anyways.
i saw a girl on my fyp swinging a lightsaber and flashes of the night at the football field flooded my mind. Which reminded me of all the stars we could see that night, making me think about the backyard picnic- and how the summer night breeze rushed through my hair as i ran and ran and ran while you chased me all across the field. the way you would grab me and haul me over your shoulder as you dragged me back to the blanket giggling all the way. I thought about all the ice cream, and the parking lots, the 3am paragraphs, and the endless destination-less car rides.
the way we didn’t talk for years and you still remembered how to get to my house by heart.
i miss you. i cant yell it any louder. i miss you michael. but you left and i need to move on. but how am i supposed to stop grieving the man that i wrote about in my notes app- the one i said i was sure i knew in some past life somewhere. the guy i was sure saw me.
i’m sorry my disease riddled mind made me too difficult to deal with. i wish i could have been better for you, i really do.
More Posts from R3v3rie and Others
i just wish to be perceived as gentle and kind. that’s it, that is truly all i want.
it hurts to know this will never be.
feeling like diane from bojack horseman when she got medicated and lost her ability to write the gritty shit.
i miss her. so much that i can’t sleep at night anymore. nor can i shake the lead from my bones. i don’t know what to do- there’s nothing i can do but feel the pain wash over me like the waves crashing right outside my window tonight.
michael i search and scan every damn tweet and every new song added to every playlist you make. i cant believe i meant nothing to you. after all this time, not one day goes by where you think of me. i’m not even worth a text back, an acknowledgment, a godforsaken breath in my direction.
fuck you. fuck it all. i wish i hated you. i hope you find everything you ever wanted in that fuck ass disgusting place you moved to. don’t come back, not now, not ever.
i hate how every man i ever love is a narcissistic, unfeeling asshole. i give up. i won’t make friends, i won’t love anyone, i cant do this anymore. being alone hurts, but mourning every person i ever lose for YEARS like they’re dead hurts way worse.
thank you michael, for ruining me. for ruining everything without so much as a fucking clue to what i could have done.
fuck you. hope you’re happy.
it’s like a race to see if my heart rate or the carcinogens will kill me first lollll
i give up on caring about people
turning back into that 14 year old girl who is terrified of the dark was not on my 2024 bingo card lmfao, like wtf i as a grown adult cannot walk from room to room freely in my house anymore without racing on my crutches to find the light switch.
analog horror is absolutely no match for my own brain because why are the hallucinations and delusions back???
2.16.22 - Ghost. Some days I float through this life with my brain fogged and the world recognizable but feeling eerily off. For on these dream-like days I am simply a ghost haunting this horrid human body.
✩ 21 ✩ bpd, bipolar, & cptsd diagnosed ✩ helpol ✩ “Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.”
272 posts