I Wish Things Could Be Different,

vent post about dying young and being a bad dog: an unofficial writing

i am so different, i wish the people of my past could see that and give me just a couple more chances to change. all i want is a friend before i die of some stupid heart defect. for now, literature is my safe space once again,

Had a session about why closure is hard today, both because of him and because of me. Wrote another goodbye letter. I can't bring myself to post most of it but here was the ending. A proof of existence if you will.

being “considerate of your bpd” my ASS, no improvement whatsoever, no regard for changing plans multiple times,, he just doesn’t fucking care it’s ridiculous like dez literally thinks we might have to break up and i’m thinking she could be right

HOLY FUCK POSEIDON AND DIONYSUS BLESSED ME. got wine drunk on the beach and took a swim :D happy happy beach girl

by the grace of the Gods, may I get through this moment.

2.16.22 - Ghost. Some days I float through this life with my brain fogged and the world recognizable but feeling eerily off. For on these dream-like days I am simply a ghost haunting this horrid human body.

me when i’m off my meds lol

when you're a child and you stay up past your bedtime you get punished by your parents, when you're an adult and you stay up too late you just get punished by the ghosts and spirits and demons and such

wish i could see luc like i used to,, they put me on too many meds and now he’s just a voice in my head sometimes. like??? give me my friend back???? pls n thanks????

a loud playlist to rival the noise in my head

i wish you didn’t get distant and i didn’t turn mean.

i miss you every damn day.

i just want to give up. i’m tired of being damaged goods n hurting everyone accidentally.