TW // RAMCOA Brief Talk //

i love you if you've gone through physical trauma. i love you if you've gone through mental trauma. i love you if you've gone through psychological trauma. i love you if you've gone through sexual trauma. i love you if you've gone through religious trauma. i love you if you've gone through emotional trauma. i love you if you've gone through any sort of trauma.

your trauma does not define you as a person — you are much more than that. you are lovable. you are valuable.

"i love attention so much i might as well be an NPD symptom holder!! ..........wait a minute"

me when co-con alter has the NPD awakening

kinda fucked up that im not a tv show character or like a 14 year old's oc Because i would've been really really good at that

it bothers me so much when "mental health advocates" are only supportive of the "acceptable" symptoms and disorders...

people who "advocate" for depression but call others disgusting for having trouble showering, or people who "advocate" for trauma survivors but say you shouldnt express your trauma in art or talk about it because its "triggering"...

people who "advocate" for BPD but demonize NPD and ASPD as if they arent in the same cluster...

people "support mental health" until it isnt relatable. people "support mental health" until it cant be romanticized. people "support mental health" until symptoms disrupt life. people "support mental health" until symptoms are noticeable and not easily hidden.

you are not an advocate if you do not advocate for us all. you cannot be a mental health advocate while also talking badly about people with personality disorders, including ASPD and NPD. you cannot be a mental health advocate if you make fun of autistic people who are visibly autistic. you cannot be a mental health advocate if you call the police on someone with psychosis for talking to themselves in public.

if your entire "advocacy" revolves around demonizing more "severe" symptoms or disorders, and romanticizing the "good" and "relatable" symptoms or disorders, you are not an ally. you are feeding into stereotypes.

i have ASPD and NPD. the amount of hate i see in "advocate" spaces is honestly shocking. if your entire advocacy revolves around "helping depressed autistics escape evil narcissists!!!!", you are not an advocate, you are ableist.

people with stigmatized disorders or symptoms should not have to water down the way they experience life and describe their personal symptoms and experiences just to avoid being called bad people. by demonizing some disorders while romanticizing others under the guise of "advocacy", you are spreading misinformation and reinforcing stereotypes. you are worsening the stigma for people who already struggle. you are harming everyone with struggles, because a lot of society does not see a difference of "good" vs "bad" mental illness. to ableist neurotypicals, we are all bad.

you hurt the entire community by excluding your own.

you advocate for all of us, or you help none of us.

Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.

Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.

Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.

Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?

Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.

Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.

Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.

There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.

This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.

Bro doesn’t even know I’m a we

not endo myself but these questions are cool and i want to talk about my system so weeeee here we go

🦴 - thatss a good question honestly... as far back as i remember? i know i discovered DID by watching some youtube videos at like 11 and relating to them, but didnt think much more of it until my diagnosis at 15

🪽 - around the time of my diagnosis, i realized i couldnt ignore it anymore, so instead decided to learn to function together

🪐 - uhhh i believe luci? or maybe lexa... luci is one of our gatekeepers, and lexa is the primary protector. they were the most active in communication when we first discovered the DID

🔭 - roughlyy around the time of first discovery?? we had a list of names in notes app, we later swapped to simplyplural around the time of diagnosis (it had just been released, i think?)

🕸️ - nonee, we dont intentionally create alters, but we do have TBMC trauma if that counts ?? like yes they were created kind of on purpose but not by us lol

🫀 - we do! i honestly dont know if any of it is intentionally built or not but uhh it is pretty large and only some of us can access it

🌙 - wedont create alters, but our new splits like looking at ID packs and stuff! we dont use bah blogs though hinestly im not sure what those are

🦇 - gonna use "created" to mean split here, we recently did split but the new split doesnt have a solid identity yet

🍂 - ithinkk ᏩᏯ was the first host?? at least to my knowledge

🌿 - usually ID packs or just searching around, sometimes we ask friends for suggestions

🐚 - none of us really? unless you count kylo, he types like a myspace teenager lol so "to" = 2 and "for" = 4 sometimes, and many "xD" "lolz" and similar. he only types like that sometimes though

🪶 - yes! some of us have accents we picked up from media or people we grew up around

🪦 - a former therapist, i think? we would occasionally join system discord servers before that point, though

🕸️ - i usuallyyy dont, i generally only tell people i consider very close! for general strangers or not close friends, ijust say i have a disorder that impacts my memory, since thats the most noticeable symptom i have... for close people though i generally just tell them that i have a DID diagnosis, most people have been very understanding

🕷️ - not reallyy?? unless you count alters cutting off people lol, but generally anyone we have told has been understanding :)

🔪 - yes! my 3 closest friends all know (one is also a system), as well as my boyfriend (he is plural as well, i remember when i first told him his reaction was "oh my god... me too" it was really funny since i had been genuinely nervous to tell him LOL)

plurality ask game !

targeted to endos , but anyone can use ! post made by an endo :)

— start .

🦴 : when did you first start feeling plural ?

🪽 : when did you finally accept your plurality ?

🪐 : who was the first alter your system found that wasn't the host ?

🔭 : when did you start keeping track of your alters ?

— creation .

🕸️ : how many of your headmates are created ?

🫀 : do you have a headspace ? if so , how much was built ?

🌙 : do you use bah blogs to help create alters ?

🦇 : who's your most recently created alter ?

— general .

🍂 : who was your first host ?

🌿 : how do you find the names of your alters ?

🐚 : how many of you have typing quirks ?

🪶 : do any of you have an accent ?

— friends .

🪦 : who was the first person to know about your plurality ?

🕸 : how do you tell new people about your plurality ?

🕷 : have you lost friends over your plurality ?

🔪 : are you out to people irl with your plurality ?

made a meme for anyone else out there who gets stuck in the "it wasnt that bad!" or "maybe im not traumatized!" loops because trauma denial sucks ass!!! you all are valid!!!

i love dressing in alt fashion. currently thinking about the time this like 4yr old boy walked by me in the mall and pointed and went "WOAHH" and his dad was like shh we dont do that. like yeah kid. become emo. i support u.

schizophrenic horror fans are gods strongest soldiers