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Pluralblr - Blog Posts
โ Aatamixx, the Echoflower System's Introduction ๐ซ๐ชป
Hello, welcome to my blog, I'm Aatami (AKA Mishka or Snep)! Well, that's just collectively speaking. If you're talking about the whole system, you can call me (us) the Echoflower System. My collective pronouns are he/him, but kit/kitself, nya/nyaself, and star/starself are all good too. I'm pretty new to Tumblr (well I had a blog in like 2020, but I've forgotten basically everything about itโฆ also I use parentheses way too much, gosh), but I plan to use this blog as a sort of archive for all the xenogenders I've coined, as well as getting into the MOGAI and plural communities on here. I hope I can find my people on this website. /lh
(This post will be periodically edited as things about myself change, of course.)
โ So Now That I Know This Aatami, Where Can I Find Him? โ
In case you had it in you for even more rambling, you can check out my about me literature on Toyhouse (I use it like a Carrd). More things are already linked there, so I don't need to re-add them all here. I also use the account that it's posted under for posting the occasional bulletin (and storing my original characters, but those are all private and will remain as such for the foreseeable future).
โ Small Facts About the System โ
(Switching to using plural language for this was a little jarring lawl, I'm very much used to referring to myself singularly.)
โ We have OSDD-1B (recognized by our psychologist, but unable to be officially diagnosed due to not being disordered โ we've achieved functional multiplicity, surprisingly enough) and are of mixed traumagenic origins
โ We are an aceplex
โ We're a theriosystem
โ We are very male- / masculine-heavy, due to our gender dysphoria affecting everyone
โ Because we're so male-heavy, we default to using he/him instead of they/them when referring to an unspecified alter or one whose gender identity is unknown
โ We're also somewhat angel-heavy
โ Due to our maladaptive daydreaming, our system has countless paracosms (the most active ones of which being the worlds our original stories are set in, as well as our fandoms, especially ones we're hyperfixating on)
โ Our headspace is exclusively set in our daydreams, and is not something that's just there in the background โ it has to be consciously visualized and visited (or well, accidentally while zoning out)
โ We are a dreamway system of sorts, but I should mention that we don't experience walk-ins and pretty much none of our alters are paragenic
โ Our alters almost never interact in the headspace, but they can use things like the Simply Plural chat and get a conversation going if need be
โ Alter Signoff Chart โ
(I originally planned to list their roles here too, but I ended up deciding against it, since I'm unsure of what some of their purposes are and uncomfortable with sharing a few others.)
โ The Hosts โ
โก๏ธ๐ = Fritz โ He/Kit/Spark
๐๐บ = Sindri โ He/Kit/Meow/Nya/Star/.Exe
๐๐ง = Samuel โ He/Him
โ๏ธ๐ = Mikko โ He/They/Kit/Nya/Snow/Star
โ Alfred's Subsystem โ
๐พ๐ฉธ = Alfred โ He/Him
๐พ๐ฌ = Ekkehard (Eike) โ He/Him
๐พ๐ค = Kelso โ He/Him
๐พโจ = Aleksi โ He/They/Pup
๐พ๐ = Salem โ She/He/They/Pup
โ Everyone Else โ
โ๏ธ๐ฅ = Akatsuki โ He/Kit
โโ๏ธ= Alois โ He/Him
๐ป๐ = Asriel โ He/They
๐น๐ = August โ He/They
๐ฆโโฌ๐ = Corbin โ He/Him
๐ช๐ฌ = Dylan โ He/Him
๐โโฌ๐ = Ender โ Xae/They/He/Kit
๐โญ๏ธ = Felix โ He/They
๐๐ฆ = Finnley โ He/They
๐ชฝ๐น = Gabriel โ They/He
๐ช๐ช = Ivan โ He/Him
๐๐ = Jeremy โ He/Him
๐ช๐ = Katsumi / Sabrina โ She/They/He/Kit/Meow/Mew/Nya
๐บ๐ฉธ = Lavrentiy โ He/Him
๐ฟโ๏ธ = Malachi โ He/Him
๐๐ฆฎ = Nanner (trying to think of a new name for himself) โ He/She/They/Pup
๐๐ฅ๏ธ = Prototype (trying to think of a new name for himself) โ He/Him
๐ฅ๐ก๏ธ = Reinhard โ He/Him
๐ช๐ = Saturn โ He/They/Pup/Star
๐ธ๐งก = Shalva โ He/Him
๐๐ = Sylvan โ He/They/Bun
๐ชณ๐ฉธ = Vermin โ They/He
๐๏ธ๐ฉธ = (Currently undecided on a name for himself, very recently discovered.) โ He/Him
This guy has left the same message in like 5 different places...
So we have a new member, an introject, and he is struggling to adapt to things a bit and feeling kind of emotional. But I have my own stuff going on too and don't have the energy really to deal with this rn. I'm just...augh...tired. I wish I could help him more but I really don't even know what to do since this has never happened for us before
Today Elin came back after several days of being distant and purposefully stayed co-con rather than co-front because he thinks it will help build my communication and awareness. He was making me do grounding stuff so we didn't get blurry...I think he's just a sadist tho and likes watching me struggle
It's so wild to me still how different some of the others are. And it's no wonder I would try to supress the differences. It can be kinda scary and uncomfortable to suddenly feel like you hate something you love or feel suddenly angry for no reason. And that's just being influenced by *one* of them. It's so strange sometimes of course my instinct is to think it's not real.
This is random but I made and have been regularly filling out this personal form to judge when I am dissociated and how I am feeling and this silly form is doing more for my denial than anything I've ever done. I can go back and see the other answers and stuff that don't align with me and know that I wasn't just imagining it all. I really was not myself for those times no matter what I want to pretend
It's always strange to me when fictives appear that they're never the character from the show or whatever that I'm actually obsessed with. It'll be someone kinda random that I would never expect
Elin just told me he's co-con most of the time I just never notice...
Noticing and acknowledging and even accepting what it feels like to co-front has been a very big hurdle for us. Maybe because I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone else describe the sensation in quite the same way as we experience it. It's a little hard to explain properly but I found some images that kind of translate the feeling.
tw: images may mess with eyes or impose feelings of unreality
Most of the time we feel like 'ourselves' (i.e. the one correlated with our irl name/Des) but who is easily influenced by the others.
Only, when one of the others front, Des doesn't necessarily leave front or even develop amnesia and can usually still speak. It feels like the above images, with two beings occupying the same space. Afterwards Des will remember the basics of what transpired but as if it happened to another person or was a dream--with details missed and emotions muted or lost from the time.
tw: drugs, weed
So does anyone else notice that when they smoke/are high that some others (I still haven't found a word I like) are more likely and/or easier to front? Like in the past some of them didn't like the feeling and would avoid front. I've noticed that there are particular others that consistently are okay with fronting while high. It's kind of strange and definitely I think contributes to my denial and confusion. Unfortunately now days I am more likely to be high to some degree than sober. Dissociation also feels different when high which is another factor. It's just so hard to quit. (This post isn't about that, though ...)
Anyways...am I alone here?
As someone who really struggles with unclear rules/concepts, being a system is a very difficult idea to grasp or accept personally. Every few years I go through a cycle of denial and then rediscovery and exploration that eventually I get frustrated with and abandon. Perhaps it's a lack of self assurance in myself. Whatever it is, I hope this time is different somehow.
It's hard to do the difficult thing when it's much easier to just continue trudging along in a fog.