Scvorchous - Schvorchous

he tian: little mo, did you know that 0.3 seconds of eye contact is enough for a person to feel attracted to someone or fall in love with them?

mo guan shan: this is complete bullshit.

he tian: well, it's only been 15 seconds, and i'm not just in love with you anymore, i love you more than anything in the world, you're my sun, the only ray of light in the darkness of my life. so it's true.

sometimes guan shan wants to shove a tube of toothpaste up tian's ass. sometimes he actually tries. sometimes all of them, proponents of the «normal way of squeezing toothpaste», get together and complain about «these assholes» who «don't know how to use their hands». life is hard, he tian, jian yi and qiu ge are idiots.

and she li is... as usual, insane.

he tian: oh, that looks heavy, can i give you a hand?

mo guan shan: you're pointing at my ass.

he tian: ... your point being?

did I understand correctly that the whole 19 days fandom quietly agrees that future-mo guan shan usually sleeps on he tian's chest? and when tian has nightmares, he buries himself in the redhead's neck, and redhead hugs him and kisses the top of his head? and little mo loves when tian sneaks up and unexpectedly embraces and pecks him while he cooks, but still feigns annoyance? and that they can't watch a movie properly because they're always distracted by each other?

i like that.

mo guan shan: i have a headache.

he tian: i have a backache.

mo guan shan: i'll rub your back.

he tian: i'll give you head.

mo guan shan: what?

he tian: what?

he tian: i wanna fuck you.

mo guan shan: you're already fucking my brains out every day.

he cheng, in the coldest voice: so you're banging my brother.

mo, uncertain: yeah…

he cheng: thank god. now he's your problem. i'm done here.

i don't wanna be with him, i wanna be like him.

Jian: Tian is so in love, he has no basic common sense when it comes to you.

Mo: Not true.

Jian: Fine, let’s test it. Tell him you’re pregnant.

Mo: Fine. [Texts Tian "I’m pregnant"]

Tian, three hours later, with four shopping carts full of babies clothes: ... Wait.

university professor: he tian, why are you so late?

he tian: i'm sorry, professor, my cat fell asleep on my lap, and i didn't want to wake him up.

the cat: