Emotions Are Hard
All the gays right now
Also very valid
That's all
I knew about the lung thing cause my friend already has one failing lung and is a nicotine addict but the liver?
I'm gonna have to add some kidneys or something, christ.
Gavin: I have made a top 10 list of people important to me.
Gavin, taking a folded piece of paper out of his pocket: Number 10 is "I can tolerate you more than most people" And then 1 is "You could steal a lung, my entire left leg and my liver to sell on the black market and I would probably thank you." So, basically-
Nines, deadpan: They wouldn't take your liver, you've destroyed it with alcohol already.
Gavin: ...
Gavin, unfolding the paper: Tina, hand me that pen.
Gavin: You've just been demoted to number 5.
Nines: Where was I before?
Gavin: 9.
Gavin, editing the list: It's a demotion because the more important you are to me, the more I'll inconvenience you.
Chris: Trust me, you don't want to get to number 1.
~~~A few weeks later~~~
Tina, standing up and getting everyone's attention: Important update! Nines has made it to number 1 and Gavin just informed me that they probably won't be here today. I'm giving $50 dollars to whoever guesses what happened correctly.
Hank: Gavin fell down the stairs and convinced Nines that he broke something so he had to go to the hospital!
Tina, writing it down: Wouldn't doubt it, next!
Captain Fowler, walking out of the break room with fresh coffee: Gavin did some dumbass shit and Nines finally got sick of it so Gavin sent that before Nines killed him
Tina: Creative but very probable!
*Many more scenarios are listed until people run out of ideas*
~~~About an hour later~~~
Gavin, walking into the DPD and clocking in: Hey!
Nines in tow, smirking: We apologize for being late.
Gavin, walking with a small limp: ...
Connor: I KNEW IT! OFFICER CHEN, FORK IT OVER
Tina: DAMMIT, YOURE GOOD!
Me, in 50 years: I still remember the day when Elijah Kamski created androids.
Grandchild: Granny, that never happened.
Me, sobbing: They just wanted to be free…
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
“Aren’t you the cutest m*therphcker? I’m gonna phckn’ steal you.”
“Gavin you can’t steal my cat.”
Jiu Jitsu Instructor Lets Adorable Little Girl Beat Him
Gavin: What do you think would happen if I took my sleeping medication and then drank an entire Rockstar energy drink?
Nines: I don't know but, please don't find out
Gavin, looking Nines directly in the eye: Only one way to find out.
Gavin, taking the sleeping pill and then drinks the entire energy drink: ...
Nines: You're feral and natural selection is coming for you.
Icon by: fruits-i | Header by: Octopunkmedia | I will never get over Detroit Evolution and that is a PROMISE. | July 22 | My name is. coincidentally, Reid, pronounced Reed | He/They | Agender | Gay | Polyam | I'm VERY short and if you're under 5' 5, you legally can't make fun of me or you'll be finef. Sorry, I don't make the rules, I just enforce them
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