UPDATE!

My body: holy shit we just climbed a mountain. I think I might collapse

Me: bitch no we walked up the stairs

ROUGH DRAFT chronic illness and insomnia

You can't sleep lying on a nail bed. The spikes digging into you. If you lay properly, it distributes all your weight. One wrong move and you're in agonizing pain. You roll around all night, trying to get one minute of rest.

You wake up after trying to sleep for hours. They ask you why you're so tired. No one sees the spiked bed, only you.

Can you believe I used to NEVER wear black? I only dressed in rainbows for 6 years. Then on day I decided to dress like this:

Growing up is crazy

Queer, undiagnosed, disabled, homeless artist still trying my best to be happy

After my PTSD was triggered I could no longer live with my childhood abuser. The stress caused me to get ill. I moved out so I wouldn't have to live with them. I'm Now temporarily living at with my girlfriend's now. My condition has been getting worse. I can't walk without a can. My lab results keep coming back normal, but I suspect I have pots.

ENOUGH WITH THIS SAD SHIT THOUGH

After several months of taking a social media break, I'm back! I want a community, a place to show my art, and maybe even make a business.

This is me, this is my art ٩(๑`^´๑)۶

If you like my art, or are another chronically ill baddie, feel free to follow it even dm me (^_-)-☆

I am NOT cured, I repeat I AM NOT CURED 😭😭

Guys.. I was able to take a short walk and go up the stairs easier. I think I might be cured from chronic illness 🤭

I'm trying to create a more positive and content place for disabled and chronically ill people. I see so many negative posts about being chronically ill and they can really put me down. I wanna change that

I'd love to ask the question, what are you grateful for?

Now, I know this can be SO hard to answer especially when you're chronically ill. But I really want you to try and think of at least one thing. It could be something really small. Or even a list!

I'll go first: I'm grateful for my ability to create art, my mobility aids, and my chosen family.

YOUR TURN!

gentle check in for my fellow POTSies. does your body feel:

heavy

weak

shakey

sweaty

or generally overwhelmed?

if yes, here's a little reminder to hydrate, get in some electrolytes, take ur meds if you forgot, and adjust your positioning if you can! sit down, lay down, stretch your legs, elevate your legs, etc. if you've been in one position too long, you may find a little bit of movement to help.

i know for me even sitting upright too long can exhaust me and i dont realize until im out of sitting up spoons. i just did that today now, after some wandering around the house, im having my Horizontal Time (bed). after this i'll likely take a 5 minute walk.

there's no shame in needing rest. there's no shame in needing a break from something to go stretch or get water/food. there's no shame in only being able to do very light exercise. it's okay to listen to your body and do whatever is best for you!

Psst… HEY

If you are also queer, disabled, and/or have chronic pain, and wanna see art and other content about it, then feel free to follow my youtube ;))

I've been making shorts, and hopefully filming a full video when I have the energy!

One of my videos (´ . .̫ . `)

I was so exhausted and has zero spoons left. Tookna three hour trip to snooze land. Probably shouldn't have taken that long of a nap, but you know what? I DESERVED THE DAMN NAP!!!! I might still be tire, but I'm feeling refreshed of spoons today.

If you need to rest go do it. No need to feel guilty about it

Things my disability has made me more grateful for:

My support system. I have been around some, let's just say, very mean people in my life. I've curriated a chosen family I couldn't be happier with. With special thanks to my girlfriend and her family for giving me a temporary place to live and taking care of me

Self care. Before while I did take care of my body, I didn't take it as seriously as I should. When I had to use the restroom, shower, brush my teeth, drink water, eat I didn't always attend to my needs. Now a days, even though they are way harder to do, I put in extra effort. Because I deserve it

My art. I have a lot of self esteem issues with my art, and even have shut downs on occasions from a piece not being “perfect.” But at the end of the day, when it’s just me in bed, with my art book, and my markers, I can forget about being disabled. I can fully put effort into something I love and have worked so hard on. And my efforts pay off. I can tell my art is improving

No, I am not I am not glamorizing being chronically ill and disabled. This is the best way I’ve learned to accept and cope with it though