It Gave Me Chills,

Ahhhh perfect and pure fantasy of love ✨💜

jazz music is just so great and romantic like yes just spin me around and dance with me in the kitchen while sinatra croons on the shitty radio we own and just love me love me love me

Thanks @intoxicatednits for the tag!

Mine is INFP- the idealist's booklist.

So lovies many of you are into books (these are classics) and here is list according to MBTI.

And I'm in love with these

OH GOSH!!! Looking forward to know about yours buddies!!!

The Sun

Days are brutal,

Nights are cold.

I'm about to rest my,

hope ashore .

But one day,

it hit my mind ,

that the Sun never failed to show.

It gave me strength .

I feel the heat again .

Now, I am ready, to bear the pain,

bigger than what, I ever bore .

( 19.5.2020)

My 1st confession-blr, just some stuff I have been going through that might be relatable, to I guess someone.

(No self hate, just some thinking out loud and blabber,ig)

Stuff's pretty miserable. I don't feel good. I don't even know how I feel, I guess its loneliness even though I do have lovely people around...I literally don't know...

Started to feel like there is something wrong w/ me. My circle is not one which resonates with me, I still love them but no one is ever "just there for me". 17 ,and still don't have a "bff" other than my sister and mother. My cousins aren't a fan of me either, have one who is my same age but still matches "vibes" with my younger sister. We were great 2 yrs ago but...

I try so hard to be nice to people, yet I see people effortlessly happy, I wonder why I make any extra effort, no one has to, they get on fine without thinking much. Sometimes I feel sick of feeling so much and not being able to cry.

Things which give me happiness like writing or reading novels or photography or nerding out on cosmology etc., I can't do any of it without being guilt stricken every singe minute. Even as I write this I realize I need to complete my Chemistry notes and physics assignments and practice math, afterall its 12th grade, the LIFE DECIDING YEAR... but I seem to do neither hard work for 12th marks nor extra stuff I like.

Sometimes, when I like ,sit down to think, I feel like I'm a no-one sitting in middle of nowhere , meaning nothing to anyone except my family and teachers. I AM REPLACEABLE. The worst thought... I am not an indispensable part of anyone's life other than my family (which is obvious I guess + cuz they are lovely coping up with me)...

No, I don't hate myself. I love myself. I just am at a phase where nothing is moving...All still...and in that stillness, I feel... not very happy.

I wished so much after I came out of 10th, but my life has been nothing but monotonous...

The people I thought were a gift to me, turns out I don't matter that much to them, and I feel guilty of expecting too much. Still, I wonder, is it too much to expect some kind of care or support from people who claim to be yours? Maybe, it is.

True , so true , and sometimes those teachers mean more to you than they are expected to by the world.... The good ones are so underrated

getting compliments from teachers does blessings to one's self-esteem

The Clock

The clock ticks,

ticks to leave us all behind.

Behind in past

where we thought of future,

but where are we now?

Oh! I wonder...

Somewhere in between

'should' and 'would' we live,

live, but don't give

enough to the clock that ticks

today, to give us life.

Haircut thoughts, felt like sharing

Yesterday, me and my sis went to get a haircut after 2 long years. I was sitting there as my sis got her hair chopped down and noticed a guy sitting beside her.

He had been there before we came in and left just before us - when both my sis and me were done. He just sat there and got a freaking makeover in all the possible ways. I personally don't like spending time in salons just to look good but that's just me, he liked it and did it and I was like yeah , you go boy! *Me feeling guilty for even noticing ,as this should be normal*

The guys who pamper themselves, who get facials and spend 2hrs in a salon getting everything done to look good, I feel they are truly open-minded. They don't care if people say "why is he spending so much time to look good? He is a guy! Such a girl thing to do!". Cuz they don't think that caring about looks is a "girl" thing. It's a human thing. Either one cares or one doesn't care. Nothing to do with the gender here.

Funny thing is that these people, guys who are in salons, don't even realise they respect females in that way. They will still go out and say " women take so long to get ready" when they just spent 2hrs getting there beard and hair set . Feels like in this society , a person has to have courage and bravery to say " It is no such thing as a girl thing". So , choosing the easier way , they say " Huh! Women." *Eye roll*

The society is build this way, it makes us feel this way. But we make the society too, and I feel we are here to change this. Let guys care for their looks if they want and girls not care if they want. Go ahead , be yourself . And you don't need some new found courage for that. Nothing is a girl thing or guy thing ,if it is, it's a human thing.

Btw, I got my hair from longer-than-shoulder length to cant-even-touch-the-eyebrow length and I love it!!

Life goes on,

Ignoring my pain and blues

Life goes on,

No matter what i choose.

They asked , then what's the point living,

when all we're headed to, is death?

I tried to find that answer myself

but failed hard, somehow.

Until Now.

Looking back at all that,

i dont weep, but ponder,

if death is all it is about

then we wouldn't have been alive

in the first place!

It's not about ending, in the end.

It's about making everything about my end

worth dying for.

It's about making a life, worth living.

Making all my time between

life and death

worth remembering,

is all what it is about.

-mauli

This is as true as it can ever get... We are nothing but the some of everything around us. Everyone and everything, and how we perceive it.

“Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known.”

— Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

Give healing the space, to take place.