[The Squad Is Trying To Con Some Random Guy]

Chuck: I am in charge, so you have to do what I say

Castiel: Yeah, no

Chuck: I'm God

Castiel: And I'm an atheist

Chuck: How can you say I don't exist? I'm standing right here

Castiel: I didn't say you don't exist. I said I don't believe in you

Chuck: What?

Castiel: You'll never achieve your dreams

jack: why do people go to college?

sam: to learn things related to the careers they want to have, and to learn about themselves.

jack: i wanna go to college!!!

sam, crying: im so p rouD

Jekyll: Sitting on and touching warm rocks... Now that's the good stuff...

Jasper: Are you... A reptile?

Jekyll: What are you-- a cop? Mind your business...

if i had a nickle for every time slimecicle wrote a character that was a non human, neurodivergent coded, green themed character who says 'dap me up' that knows nothing about the world he lives in and has a begrudging companion that teaches him purposefully wrong information about the surface who also kind of takes advantage of his ignorance, id have two nickles, which isnt a lot, but its weird as hell that it happened twice

Jack: Can I have another cookie?

Dean: What did Cas say?

Jack: He said no

Dean: Then why should I say yes?

Jack: because he’s not the boss of you

Dean, internally: it’s a trap it’s a trap it’s a trap

Scrooge: I've met some insufferable people.

Scrooge: But they have also met me.

Sam: So, I have to go to the eye doctor this week.

Jack: Yes, you need to get your vision orbs checked.

Sam: Ah... yes. My vision orbs..

Void Stiles: We could work in some of the ideas I've been suggesting?

Derek: Those aren't ideas as much as they are random acts of violence.

scott: we have fun, don't we?

stiles: i have never been more stressed out in my entire life

Percy, the wonderful king of firsties

Ginny, the twins, and Ron don't confide in Percy like the other siblings at Hogwarts. Percy feels useless as a big brother and not needed, so once more reminds them that he's always in the library if they change their minds. While Percy's working on an assignment at his normal spot, light shuffling steps stop right before him. Percy's head is buried in a book and he's half paying attention when a small first year asks him for help. The boy confesses that he overheard Percy tell his family he was always available for help, and he thought since he doesn't have any siblings or friends he could ask Percy for help.

Percy agreed reluctantly not realizing he immediately said yes to someone who's not a Weasley sibling. At the end when they finished the first year Gryffindor is appreciative and more confident, rushing off with a big smile.

A couple days later Percy's at the table when he hears something, perking his head up there are now a few first years with pleading eyes. He waves them over and bright smiles shine back at him.

A week later Percy lifts his eyes above his book and he sees he's surrounded by a small crowd of children, ranging in houses and eager for his guidance. There are some Slytherins who show up to the session Percy leads shy and excited. At a certain point the first years bring homemade cookies (requested by children from parents), knitted/crochet items, and drawings of him/random things to gift him for allowing them to hang out with Percy.