Sam: So, I Have To Go To The Eye Doctor This Week.

i have a nonsensical au idea in my head where chuuya does decide to take up lippman’s job, but he does it after dazai’s defection, so for years dazai is stuck with his ex’s face staring at him from every billboard. also, because he’s dazai, he obviously tells no one of his history with chuuya, so it just sort of becomes a thing in the agency that dazai has beef with chuuya-nakahara-from-from-the-forbes-highest-paid-actors-list.

atsushi: dazai-san hates chuuya nakahara...? the one in the movies....?

*cue incoherent seething noises from dazai somewhere in the background*

actually you know what? fuck you *un-ghosts your bur*

DSMP Characters as cc!Ranboo quotes

Sam: “no juice for those who live in solitude”

Tommy: “so like… when is it my turn to be happy?”

Badboyhalo: “if you’re listening to an inspirational speaker your life is probably not good”

Technoblade: “actually i haven’t done anything wrong ever and you can ask my apologists about that” (bonus: “pickaxe power”)

Quackity: “don’t quote me on that because i am right” (bonus: “dont run with scissors except for when you do”)

Dream: “this ones double sided!” (bonus: “all the nuts and the wrenches are just loose in the box”)

George:  *spins in a chair doing absolutely nothing for five minutes*

Sapnap: “i feel the overwhelming urge to scream at every single moment”

Tubbo: “is this a detonator? this looks like i could just press the button and– *presses button*”

Fundy: “avoid daddys love!”

Punz: “what i want you to do if you sponsor me is give me free stuff and then require me to never talk about your product again”

Wilbur: “yeah- more more more power poWER POWER”

Philza: “i am going to KILL my own child.” (bonus: “do not pay to adopt me”)

Puffy: “im pretty sure i can just do this. *fails* nope never mind i cannot do that.”

Foolish: “as long as they help us make tastier cakes i really do not mind having my soul taken. [pause] i do mind having my soul taken actually.” (bonus: “how did you die so quickly?”)

Jack: “woah there i bet you didn’t expect me to come from the floor”

Ranboo: “take deep breaths? i am… dying already”

Bonus Alyssa bc idk who she is but she used to be on the server: “i need to stop playing minecraft”

SPOILERS AHEAD KINDA

I made a list of HCs that start up after my fic Hermanito on ao3 (It's a Hurt/Comfort one shot, go ahead n check it out if you'd like!)

Practically all of the HCs are centered around mainly Bruno due to the fic, and how the family interacts with him

I'll be updating this list whenever I think of new ones so don't be afraid to revisit this list from time to time :>

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

__________________________________________

-Antonio's leopard stuffy definitely ends up becoming Bruno's, much to the kid's amusement- and Bruno doesn't even realize it. He goes to bed and always wakes up with it in his arms (Antonio's animal friends always help him sneak the stuffy into Bruno's room, Dolores chips in by always letting Antonio know when Bruno needs the stuffed leopard to help him sleep better)

- After the courtyard incedent the entire family becomes a bit clingy, almost overbearingly so- even Casita. Though the quiter kids like Dolores and Louisa usually know when Bruno wants company without conversation, which they're cool with.

- Mira and Julieta bake Bruno's favorite sweets and pass "emergency" packs of them out to everyone in the family each morning before they start their busy days so if anyone notices his mood slipping they can stop what they're doing to give him a snack n lift his day a bit

- The first time a villager badmouths Bruno its on his own birthday, and it happens in front of the entire family. Unexpectedly, out of literally anyone it could have been, its the normally easy-going brother-in-law duo Felix and Augustin that get in the villagers face n threaten to make their kneecaps work backwards for daring to threaten their Hermanito (They have never in all the time theyve known him ever called him that before and Bruno nearly cries because holy shit he has brothers now-)

- Julieta nearly joined her husband and brother in law but decided it was a far better view to watch her love get so riled up and protective (One of the many reasons she loves him) She instead makes sure no one else joins and interrupts the brother-in-laws absolutely verbally destroying the villager who upset Bruno

- Isa learns what his favorite plants are and one day while the other members of the family are dragging him around town to socialize she sneaks into his room (the old guest room) and that night when he goes in his room hes greeting with the sight of the plain looking room being covered in all his favorite plants in pots and flowing out his window, Casita using the wooden window covers to wave at him. (He cries. A lot. Who wouldnt?)

- He follows Louisa around sometimes when shes running errands and tries to help- (and she lets him sometimes- passing him the smallest ((and sometimes, empty-)) bags when she hauls large carts of grain bags, passing him the reigns of the sweetest most gentle n loving donkey among the large group that has managed to escape the pen again, passing him stones the size of about a football when shes moving large boulders, etc). Despite what one would normally assume he doesn't miss the fact that she's sort of babying him, but he never says anything because he knows it's a big step for her to let anyone help at all- so he simply pays her back by making sure she drinks plenty of water and fussing over any scraps or bruises she gets from overworking herself

- Bruno becomes a sort of secondary Doctor due to the fact he's started to constantly carry around a pack full of water and some of Julieta's cooking whenever he heads to town with anyone in the family

- Augustin and Felix discover in the most amusing way possible that Bruno has the lowest alcohol tolerance known to man (it was during a celebration of some kind, they cheerfuly challenged him to a friendly drinking match- he made it maybe 5 sips in and was immediatly done for. Everyone at the party silently vowed to protect him with their lives when they witnessed him talking to someone about his incredible nieces & nephews n he immediatly started to cry over how amazing and adorable they all were and theyd all grown up so strong "You don't understand Julian, theyre the best, my god I'm so proud of them-")

- Him n Alma sit down to have tea together on Wednesdays and Sundays, quietly chatting about anything that comes to mind. Sometimes other members of the family join them, but on days where its just them they get to slowly heal their broken bond. Alma works on her patience n fear, Bruno works on his communication and anxiety

- Camilo plays pranks on anyone who insults Bruno behind his back- his pranks can sometimes dance the line between fun and cruelty though when it comes to the folks that dare insult Bruno to the mans own face (The first time he witnessed such an event, the crestfallen look on his tio's face made the weight of his own words hit him even harder, guilt over the comments he'd made about him during the song sung to Mira clouding his heart until he decides to go after the villager he'd seen insult the ex-wall hermit. He felt a lot better after and hasnt stopped since)

- The family have daily cuddle nights where they gather up a bunch of blankets n pillows n they just talk to eachother, helping eachother understand n communicate better.

One night when the younger kids are asleep, Bruno quietly opens up about how everyone's past behavior and his isolation has effected him- and once he starts, he cant stop, spilling every feeling of hurt thats ever hit his heart until all any of them can do is simply hold him and listen closely, giving him the aknowledgment and support he needs

- Sometimes when he's overwhelmed Bruno crawls back into his hole in the wall, though he usually warns someone before he does so there isn't panic over his disappearance. Over time he gradually works out of the habit, learning to talk to anyone in his family when he's struggling with things, though it takes years

- As Bruno starts to adjust to being around people again, his dry jokes become even dryer- Puns, dad jokes (tio jokes?), You name it-

He managed to get Pepa to snort over one of his oddly timed jokes once and nothing could take the smile off of his face for days afterwards

- Bruno sat Mariano down one day for a private conversation. The poor lad left the room paler than a sheet of paper, muttering about the color green and rats for a few days after, never explaining just what happened in that room ("Mi amor, your tio Bruno loves you, and if I ever piss him off just know I love you-")

Once he'd gotten over Bruno's terrifying hurt-her-theyll-never-find-you speech (Bruno eventually apologized, though when he shook Mariano's hand his grip was surprisingly strong) the two of them bonded surprisingly well over a joint love for writing poetry

Brynjolf: Alright lass, as a member of the the thieves guild, you can’t kill anyone.

Dragonborn: *is leader of the Dark Brotherhood* Okay, got it.

Cicero: *loudly* LET’S KILL SOMEONE!!! :D

Percy + The Prewett Twins - Headcanon List

I’ve had this in my queue for so long it’s almost ridiculous, so I just thought I’d post it now. I’ve been wanting to do this for a long while lol. Off we go!

- During the first wizarding world war, the Weasleys decided to split up, they thought it would be wisest. When Percy was born, the war began to get more intense and even worse. Percy was placed with his two uncles, Fabian and Gideon, who were ecstatic to get the kid who looked so much like them. He was placed there when he was three years old. 

- He didn’t act much like them, it turned out, but they were okay with that. He had their hair, their sister’s smile, and their best friend’s eyes, and he was so incredibly precious. 

- They raised him with love and care, it distracted them from their own pain. The two took turns reading to Percy and took turns holding him. They didn’t need to think so much about the pains of war with their nephew right in front of them.

- The rare times the three of them all went out in public, people often asked which one of twins was Percy’s father. Gideon would laugh loudly as Percy would say “they can’t be my father if they’re my uncles?” Fabian would repeat what Percy said and the person would be embarrassed.

- Percy watched them both die. He was only 4 or 5 at the time, so it didn’t truly register what happened until it did. The twins fought valiantly, but they were eventually brought to their demise by the killing curse. 

- He did the only thing he could, and flooed to the burrow. He had seen Fabian do it before, and he thought it would work. He was sobbing, unable to breathe by the time he had gotten home. Because there was soot in his lungs, on his clothes, and his uncles were dead. Two people very close to his heart now gone forever.

- For a long time, Percy didn’t consider The Burrow home. Fabian and Gideon’s house was home, not this place. This place was filled with people who knew him but he didn’t know, it was scary, this new place. It was familiar, but new. 

- Molly would cry often after she tucked Percy into bed, because he looked so much like them and he had to see them die and merlin, the pain he must be feeling-

- Percy didn’t remember who Arthur was when he came home forever once the war ended, and had a very hard time being comfortable around him. The relationship only slightly improved over the years, much to Arthur’s chagrin. 

- For quite a few years, he spoke very little. He didn’t speak unless spoken to first, and even then he was still quite quiet. He was a shy child, always. As he grew to be a teenager, he was shy with those his age still, perhaps even more severely than it had been when he was younger, but he was fine and confident around adults. 

this is the energy i need to see c!ranboo give wilbur when that zombie tries to slander him

Wholesome Cicero Being Sick Headcanons

So i saw this headcanon post floating around about how Cicero would handle the Listener being sick, and today I figured “okay, buuut… what if Cicero was sick instead?” :0

Since he was likely horrendously malnourished during and after his time in Cheydinhal, and because he’s moving to a new province full of different strains of illness, Cicero gets sick. A lot. 

He hides it as best he can as he continues to do the Keeper boogaloo unbeknownst to his family, often to the point where he overworks himself and everyone is freaking out because he’s passed out on the floor again

Tries really hard to make it seem like he’s fine, especially when the Listener isn’t around at the time, because he doesn’t want to feel like a burden to anyone 

meanwhile he’s somehow paler than he already is and his skin is literally on fire

Sore throats are almost a guarantee because of how much he talks, and he hates whenever he gets them 

There have definitely been times where he’s worked his voice so raw to the point where he just physically can’t speak, and it’s torturous for him. How can he jest in a timely manner if he has to write down his jokes?!

Him being cared for is absolutely torturous for him, too

He’s used to being the one doing all the caring, and having it the other way around really throws him for a loop

Lowkey feels like he doesn’t deserve the care, honestly

He gets oddly shy asking for stuff, even if the person he asked was the one who offered in the first place, especially if it’s someone other than his Listener 

He just feels like he’s on thin ice with most, if not all of the family for how he’s acted in the past, and being in such a vulnerable state where he kinda HAS to ask makes him really uncomfortable

He swears, though, if he has to drink another one of Babette’s disgusting potions that’ll supposedly make him feel better, he will scream 

Just tiny ol Cicero all bundled up in a cocoon of blankets, holdin a bowl of soup

He tends to eat very little when he’s sick

He’s very antsy about getting back to work and usually insists he’s fine and can get back to what he’s doing, but if he’s severely ill and he knows? He generally won’t push it. But he has to be like… actually bedridden for him to get to that point.

If you thought he was cold before… buddy, buddy ol pal,,, this bitch freezin

it is the one thing he will complain about consistently when he’s sick

you could probably throw him in the fire place and he would still be cold 

Both loves and hates taking baths when he’s sick - loves it because guaranteed quality warm and temporarily unstuffed nose. Hates it because he knows he’s eventually going to have to get out at some point, and it’s gonna be Cold. Very Fucking Cold. 

Definitely doesn’t sleep well at all when he’s sick 

Like even shittier than he already does, unless he gets something from Babette to put him to sleep 

just a very restless boi 

doctor who companions will go "he's the most incredible man i've ever met... he's like fire; bright, brilliant, and burning whatever gets too close." and then the camera turns and it's Some Guy eating sand

Natasha: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?

Seele, turning to Sampo: How tall are you?