Stiles: Being A Human Is So Confusing Because You Are Basically An Animal With A Soul, So Sometimes You're

Brynjolf: Alright lass, as a member of the the thieves guild, you can’t kill anyone.

Dragonborn: *is leader of the Dark Brotherhood* Okay, got it.

Cicero: *loudly* LET’S KILL SOMEONE!!! :D

Megamind AU

where Megamind is still doing supervilliany things like trying to take over the city, robbing banks, creating over the top schemes with way too many stages to defeat Metroman

BUT

He’s also a favourite of many Metro City citizens because he is always willing to drink his Respect Women Juice™ and always down to bat for the underdog.

Being followed by a creep? The invisible car is there to offer you a ride home and Megamind’s pointing a weird-looking gun at the creep.

Your boss giving you the chills? All his dirty laundry is all over the web and his entire bank account has been donated to charity.

Trying to escape an abusive environment? Knock on the ‘Secret’ Lair’s door and he’ll get you an entirely new living arrangement, a restraining order and enough money to get you back on your feet.

Need medication that you can’t afford? Megamind just robbed a pharmacy and his physiology doesn’t agree with human medication.

Megamind gives away free mini De-Guns that dehydrate people for half an hour since it acts as an excellent deterrent. (He somehow managed to argue it into legality by comparing it to Mace.) 

Roxanne makes exactly one mention of Hal the cameraman not taking no for an answer before she gets a new cameraman the next day who is exceedingly polite towards her and goes pale whenever Megamind looks at him.

Megamind may have been raised by criminals but he was raised by criminals who were mostly victims of circumstance and thus gave him standards.

The perfect addition would be a "none of the above" option.

Steven: Pigeon

Marc:

*Minutes later*

Steven: Dog

Marc: ??

*Minutes later*

Steven: Mouse

Marc: STEVEN WHY??

Steven: I like acknowledging their presence. Sometimes I wish people would do that to me. It makes me feel real

Marc:

---------- Next time Marc is fronting ------------

Marc, seeing Steven in a reflection: Steven

Steven: ?

Marc, seeing Steven in a puddle: Steven

Steven: Aw wait Marc are you- 🥺 thanks man

Marc:

Marc: :)

Eyes

How often do you sin?

Isaac: I don’t sin.

Scott: I sin a little.

Lydia: I sin sometimes.

Allison: I sin a lot.

Derek *looking at Stiles*: I’m sinning right now.

Stiles: Fuck that, I am going to Hell anyway.

Derek: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Boyd: Several traffic violations.

Erica: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Stiles: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Isaac: Also, that’s not our car.

"ranboo is a cryptid"

WRONG ranboo is a cartoon character, specifically a tall perry the platypus. tubbo is the cryptid. he pulls soup cans out of thin air he randomly screams in the other room and claps inhumanly fast he swings on ceiling beams

Jekyll: I turned out perfectly fine! I'm perfectly okay!

Jasper: Sir, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.

Jekyll: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!! NO ONE ELSE PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Tubbo_ has made the advancement [MICHAEL MY BELOVED]

Ranboo has made the advancement [Villain Arc Time]

Awesamdude has made the advancement [Haha I'm In Danger]