He Ate Too Many Chicken Nuggies

Gabriel: ABCDEFGHIJK-

Gabriel: L!

Lucifer: Why did you say the alphabet to figure out what came after K?

Gabriel: ....

Micheal: You’re an archangel Gabriel.

Raphael: Seriously, get it together.

Gabriel: FIRST OFF, YOU TELL ME WHATS AFTER P AND SECOND, ITS HARD OK!

Micheal, Lucifer, Raphael: Q. The answer is Q.

Gabriel: OH FUCK OFF!

One of these episodes Jamie is going to sit on the doctors lap and no one will remark on it

More OSMP Headcanons!

Wilbur didn't have abusive as much as he did neglectful parents, so when Tommy (5) and Technoblade (10) paid his house a visit, they took one look around and decided "yup he's ours now".

Tommy cried a lot as a kid. Not necessarily out of sadness, that was just how he reacted to very emotional situations. When he was older, it turned to yelling because he didn't like the pity he got before.

Tommy didn't bother to make his own views on government, but looked at Wilbur getting into it and went "no king <3".

He went with Techno's ideology, "I seriously couldn't give a fuck as long as it isn't bothering me".

Niki was found as a 12 year old in the lake, and was the only kid Phil needed no persuading to keep. She was a sweetheart.

Ranboo is a jerk but. Different, depending on who he's with. He's a lovable asshole with Bench Trio, but just an actual jerk with everyone else. He has favorites.

Tubbo and Ranboo act like they hate each other, so it was a surprise to everyone when they announced they were (platonically) married.

Scott crash-landed from the stars onto the SMP when he was younger, and claimed homophobia whenever Phil tried to get him to leave. So he stayed.

Phil's the resident father figure and canon 911 so he gets no sleep and needs to be paid more. He loves them though.

Fundy’s just a random kid Wilbur picked off the streets, he's barely younger than him. Wilbur refused to let him go.

Technoblade spent a lot of his childhood looking after Tommy, so once Tommy had friends and family that could take care of him, and he was old enough, Techno left to wander the world.

Wilbur flickers from invisible to solid when he's agitated/sad, so people take objects from him when he's feeling intense emotion.

Niki's like Ranboo's big sister, and tends to mediate all the fights he gets himself into. (A lot of them). She's the only reason he's on speaking terms with like half the server.

Ranboo and Tommy met before they met Tubbo, on one of Ranboo's few trips to the Overworld he was allowed when he was younger. They kept in touch through letters and sneaking out.

Ranboo's a prince, but ran away to live his own life. He didn't know many survival skills, and refuses to accept help.

Technoblade and Tommy were attached at the hip when they were younger, and Wilbur got jealous sometimes.

Techno insisted on Tommy being named Theseus, just because he loved the name. He calls Wil Icarus. He refuses to tell him why.

Tommy introduced Tubbo and Ranboo, it was hatred at first sight <3 (then they got married).

Ranboo's of the firm belief that money can buy happiness, actually. He throws expensive shit at his friends to cheer them up.

Charlie is God. That's it. That's the headcanon.

Ranboo looks up to Phil a lot, despite how he acts. He desperately wants to make the best father figure he's had proud.

Jaskier: I'll get over it, I just have to be dramatic first.

I feel Jake is the kind of alter who only fronts for like 10 seconds if the system is doing something he doesn't like, changes it, and then fucks off again.

Marc Spector: Im going to smoke this cigarette because it helps me fit in with a crowd (he is actually just a dramatic sadboy)

Jake: Yeets it across the room, leaves front

Jack: Can I have another cookie?

Dean: What did Cas say?

Jack: He said no

Dean: Then why should I say yes?

Jack: because he’s not the boss of you

Dean, internally: it’s a trap it’s a trap it’s a trap

I understand it’s probably bc he’s Baby and all but like. there are not enough jokes about the fact that Jack is the actual literal antichrist. like. the fact that satan possessed the president and then slept with a monica lewinsky character insert and produced a ball of sunshine is already incredibly funny but. we’re sleeping on a world of comedy here. do you think Dean ever made him watch the omen movies?

Okay, but in The Batman, Gordon seems like the only cop that’s ever glad to see Batman there? Maybe Martinez too, but everybody else is very standoffish, suspicious, and just really don’t seem to like that there’s an adult man in a bat mask and a cape walking around doing their job better than they are.

Which leads me to believe that Gordon not only came up with the idea of the Bat Signal, but he suggested it and fought for it. Went to the head honchos with a 50 slide powerpoint presentation on why it was a good idea. Argued with his superiors that not only was the Batman a good presence, but that the GCPD needed a way to get in contact with him and summon him to crime scenes.

Imagine he lights it up for the first time to test it out (without telling Bats), and Bruce sees it and immediately hauls ass to track down where the source of it is. He arrives there as Batman, and Gordon is standing there with a stopwatch and four other cops. And Gordon is just like “BOOM! I told you it would work! Eat shit! And in 7 minutes flat! Pay up!”

The Force, making the Skywalker family: whoops. Poured in too much Family BS™️

The Force: uhh

The Force: here I’ll make y’all a handler that’ll fix all my problems

The Force: *makes Obi-Wan Kenobi*

Chuck: I am in charge, so you have to do what I say

Castiel: Yeah, no

Chuck: I'm God

Castiel: And I'm an atheist

Chuck: How can you say I don't exist? I'm standing right here

Castiel: I didn't say you don't exist. I said I don't believe in you

Chuck: What?

Castiel: You'll never achieve your dreams