Happy Trans Visibility Week Everyone From The Prettiest Platypus!

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I DONT CARE IF ITS NOT PRIDE MONTH, THESE SCUGS TRANS AND PROUD!!

Trans flag color picked off riv and gourm :)

How to Shower...

...when you're too dysphoric to.

Personally, I struggle with showering on my bad days since this body doesn't quite match what's up top you know? I'm a big guy too, over 6' and more than 200 lbs. So showering in of itself tends to be an event every time. I had issues growing up and stumbled around on the internet enough to get comfortable in this. So without further ado, lets begin. How do you shower...

... when I can't stand seeing myself?

First, we gotta figure out the boundaries of "seeing myself." When you look in the mirror, can you stand there and feel confident? Is it cause you're not wearing your preferred clothing? Is it cause you can't stand seeing the wrong reflection? Next, stand where your reflection can't be seen. Now look at yourself. Can you stand seeing your hands? Your outline, your belly, your legs? Is it the finer details of your body your can't stand, or is it the greater amount. There is no wrong answer here.

It's not fun, but figure out the extent of seeing yourself. Once you've done that, it's time to get creative.

If you can look at yourself not in the mirror, but your reflection sets you off, then we get rid of the mirror. Not actually get rid of, mind you (unless you can, then be my guest), but rig up a towel or shield to put over the mirror. Cover it up, and that should ebb the issue enough to ignore it.

If you can't stand your body in general, what you should do is turn off the main lights. Don't do pitch black, that's dangerous once it's wet, but maybe crack the window shade enough to safely navigate but not see yourself. If there isn't a window, get some waterproof string lights, and either dim them or cover up just enough of them to safely navigate. Maybe get a darker shower curtain.

If you can't stand yourself without your preferred clothing, then we get shower clothes. Robes are great for covering yourself up, and there's an endless amount of possibilities for what that robe looks like. Do you have a favorite media? Chances are you can find one online styled with that. I have a TMNT robe I use when it's cold. If robes aren't your cup of tea, shower aprons are another option. A shower apron is basically a cloak someone out there made for folks who have issues bathing themself or need assistance bathing but want some privacy. This one is the first one to pop up when I googled it, but there are far cheaper options out there. (https://www.buckandbuck.com/mens-terry-shower-robe.html) If those don't interest you, swimwear. Swimsuits are designed for water. While wearing them, it may be harder to clean some areas, but we're trying to get you to bathe what you can first. Clean the majority of your body before you clean your problem areas. If you don't have body dysphoria around the "normal" areas, but instead have issues with say, your hands? Spas have a couple great options out there, like exfoliating gloves. Or if you have issues with your feet, shower shoes.

Do what you can to minimise sight in the safest way possible. I should mention, 'cause I'm sure someone out there won't think it an issue until after the fact, but don't shave in the dark. If you have issues shaving, DM me and we can talk in private. Shaving in the dark is akin to running around at night with a pocket knife. A bad idea for everyone involved.

... when the bathroom is the opposite of how I present myself?

If you are masculine presenting in a feminine bathroom, or the opposite, or something in between, then we try and get the bathroom to reflect you. Do you share the bathroom with anyone? Can you seperate the problem items while you are showering? Growing up, I had issues with my mother and sister's smelly products, so I went out and bought some shower organisers for the back of the door, where we started putting things instead, so they weren't being perfume-y while I showered. I also set things on the counter while I showered and replaced them after. If it's a design issue, and your bathroom compatriots are okay with it, maybe swap out the shower curtain or decor. My ma used to have the bathroom cat themed (idk why, but she did), and it was rather pink and cutesy. After I came out, I asked if we could redo the bathroom, and she and I compromised with a beach theme, and we disguised it as a chance to renovate the features in general, to our more conservative neighbors at the time. If that's out of the question (or budget), maybe introduce crates or a cart or other organization just to cover your ass with whoever you share with. If you can stand them, try candles or scent diffusers. There are masculine ones out there! Bath n Body Works used to have a coffee and bourbon scent I adored, but they recently discontinued it, so I got a plug in one from Walmart that's scented fresh linen. My sister moved out a while ago and has a ton of flowery scents around her apartment. My dad likes citrus. Find something that works for you.

... when my intrusive/impulsive thoughts get pretty loud?

Then we get louder. I have OCD, and struggle in particular with intrusive thoughts. My friends, let me introduce you to... waterproof speakers! I got my first one for $7 at a nearby Walmart. My latest one was $20 from Amazon. We didn't have Wifi until the Pandemic, when the cable companies realized they could exploit the town further and laid the underground wires through the town (promise this is related). As such, before we had Wifi, I would steal my sister's radio and pop in one of my discs, usually something upbeat and fast so I could dance and distract myself. My brother uses our dad's old walkman and hooks it up to a mini speaker he got at a Christmas Party about a decade ago. My ma sticks her phone in the sink's cubby and it amplifies the sound and puts on her news station. If nothing else, you can hum out loud and just try to distract yourself.

... when I can't stand feeling the wrong body under my hands?

Then we get assistive devices! Washcloths, loofahs, sponges, pomis stones, exfoliating nets... there are so many out there, all we gotta do is look! I mentioned earlier exfoliating gloves. If you need help searching, let me know and we can brainstorm together!

Overall, bathing is unfortunately a necessity, and we gotta figure out how we can trick your mind into making it easier. Feel free to comment questions or concerns or other tips if you've also dealt with this.

And keep in mind, this may seem an embarrassing topic or something otherwise taboo. Be kind. The bravest thing to do is ask for help, and if I can then I fucking will. The block and report button is easily accessible; you control your internet experience. If you don't want to see this, leave my blog. Easy. Simple. If you find something wrong with this, then feel free to DM me and we can talk personally. But if you decide to shame someone on my post then be ready to get blocked and reported. Hate will not be tolerated here.

These weapons I make, the weapons I attach to myself, they're for self defense right? They're only a precaution right? Only two blades and a blunt object. That's where it'll end, right? Why do I feel like the more I make weapons, the closer I get to wrapping my hands around the grip of a glock? Am I turning myself away from my empathetic and gentle origins? I don't want to hurt people. I don't like it when people get hurt. Not usually. If I make more weapons am I only putting up the barricade around me with a door for friends or will the wall block out everyone? I don't want to be alone again.

So many weapons that could be made, and yet I don't know if I could even get myself to use them. I don't know if I could willingly put a blade through someone's flesh or bash a blunt object against someone's skull. Am I turning myself into a danger?

If I let myself strike someone, how long until I can strike at the ones I love without remorse? I need protection, I know, but how much is too much?

When do I wind up going too far?

Strong progressive parties with engaged labor unions are the best defense against fascism.

Corporate tyranny is the enemy. Billionaire overlords want you destitute.

This is abuser propaganda.

"You're dependent on me, so regardless of how I treat you, you're not allowed to hate me."

Decent people don't trap people in cycles like this. Decent people treat others with kindness so people wouldn't have any reason to hate them.

EXACTLY!

I think last night I had a dream where I died and was reborn into a new body, a new life.

One where I was a girl in an estrogen dominant body, where I was happier and had more friends stay. One where I was a happier me in a life where I was who I've been dying to become sooner rather than later. It felt like blissful joy. A life so close to my hopes, yet so disconnected by the space that weaves in between this reality and the next. It's a bit saddening, having those slumbering moments as the girl who I want to be in a body I enjoyed, though now I am back to earth, in the body I've been cursing for maybe 3 years now.

Sometimes I wish I could detach from this physical coil and drift off indefinitely within my dreams and exist free of charge, but I know I'd miss too many things to stay.

Monsters Among Us (1/2)

Original by Chii: https://yomedan-chii.jp/archives/38489186.html