Some Of Shawn Spencer's Old Jobs

SGA + text posts pt 6

SG-1 + text posts pt 4

I know Lassiter would like to think he’s reasonable, serious, and normal but his life to anyone else’s ears sounds so wacky and full of hijinks

We can bring up the small things like the fact he reenacts war battles, has mommy and daddy issues, or had a fling with a colleague, but there is also the facts that he works with a psychic, has so many guns in his house the police couldn’t find them all, had gotten in a relationship with a woman who is in jail after her brother tried to steal his blood, tap dances to relax and solve murders, set up a bomb on a car as a distraction for the mentioned psychic, has a murder- I mean suspect board in his own home, would plant evidence on his ex-wife’s new boyfriend, is pansexual, has encouraged his colleague to breakup with the twice previously mentioned psychic, has offered to set up that colleague with another woman in prison, refused to tell anyone about extreme amounts of blood loss, went fishing with Henry Spencer, has shot at a donut mascot after being drugged, gave colleague and psychic knives (not of the kitchen variety) as a housewarming gift, threw himself a party (banner included) for solving a case, cut the umbilical cord off of his boss’s baby, has chased previously mentioned psychic’s best friend through his apartment building with a sword after once again being drugged, immediately assumed he slept with the coroner, psychic, and psychic’s best friend after waking up from a night of drinking spooning the coroner, has gotten the nickname detective dipstick, is definitely a conspiracy theorist in a government cover up and apocalyptic kind of way, has the most glorious chest hair (not really relevant but I just want to bring it up), and is weird about his car.

You seat a table of three for breakfast and the woman says hmm yes I will have a loaded waffle tower please and you say ma'am that's a children's item and she says so and you say okay fine and the man who brought a whole laptop in says ah, I will have what the lady is having and an orange soda and you say for breakfast and he says of course and then the guy who is clearly a criminal says what kind of bread do you use for your French toast and you say ... White and he says can I sub brioche and you say we don't have brioche and he sighs and says I'll get the rooty tooty... Whatever the cowboy omelette and the other two start razzing him about being a cowboy and when you come to check up on them the woman is playing airplane with the loaded waffle tower trying to get the criminal to eat it and they tip $200 and your watch has been replaced with a better watch

The horses in his brain are not ok

shawn & gus as patients of the week in ppth. house &shawn are having a deductive-reasoning-off & gus & foreman & chase are just watching each other & gus is doing his little thing where he tries to look very dignified but he was just intrduced as DJ Sizzl in m'Gutz (3 z's)

Psych incorrect quotes: a series (cont.📻🔥🧑‍⚖️)

—————

Shawn: Well, while you guys were over there being boring, I made us a theme song with my theramin!

Shawn: *plays a few opening notes*

Lassiter: *grabs it and tosses it into the middle distance*

Shawn: Hey! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a good pocket theramin?

Lassiter: Oh, I’m counting on it

———

Juliet: what’s a word stronger than ‘hot’?

Lassiter: ‘scalding’

Gus: ‘sultry’– no no, ‘torrid’

Shawn: ‘Shawn’

———

*during season 1 episode 12*

Shawn: If it pleases the court, I would like to say that my opponent is talking shit

I just think this post is very them

New mood just dropped: Gus standing uncomfortably in the background while Shawn and Lassiter… manhandle each other?

here are my favorite real things that happen on person of interest

the ai is lesbian coded

the main guy reese is widely known as "the kneecap guy" because he shoots people's kneecaps out

the other main guy finch lives in a library. reese at one point gives him a dog. the dog eats books. reese is aware of this when he gifts the dog

they kidnap a baby and then have to raise it for an episode

reese gets two cops who are partners to do things for him but refuses to tell each one about the other person, so joss (played by taraji p henson) and fusco (this is actually his name) spend an entire season going "john I think they're onto me. I think they suspect i'm working for you." and he just goes "don't worry about it". he does this entirely to fuck with them

the show's evil hot lesbian villain root threatens to torture the show's bisexual sociopath shaw with an iron. it is their meetcute

at one point the dog in question is being used to threaten reese’s life. so they adopt it. fusco has a ball gag on during this scene

the dog eats a first edition isaac asimov

the cia and the fbi have a turf war

the cia and fbi both completely fail to capture this one dude, whose name and face they know, for two years

some fucking guy spends an entire season trying to take down the mafia while fucking with the duo and then when he goes to jail one of them just straight up plays chess with him weekly

the aforementioned evil hot lesbian root tries to kidnap and almost kills finch in the first episode they meet. she becomes a main character

shaw and root steal reese's grenade launcher

reese's backstory is that he straight up killed a man for domestically abusing his ex

one of them gets drugged on ecstacy and dances to a microwave about to explode

they live in a subway basement for a year

the creator of the lesbian coded ai has entirely bird aliases