My Dearest L...

My Dearest L…

Sometimes i wonder what i bring to the table, will it be enough for the ones i love. you know i’ve been alone i have truly forgot what love even feels like, it’s just a weird night tonight. why did my ex text me? why have people from my past all been talking to me after a year they have been super quite. i don’t inderstand it...... oh!! 

P.S. Goodnight<3 i’ll type more tomorrow 

MY DEAREST L…

so an update on how I'm doing, my stress is going and leaving I'm tired but scared to sleep... and my swallowing is getting a bit better but not by much. I just want to wake up tomorrow and everything be back to normal, ugh I hate having stuff wrong with me. I can't even eat hard food bec I keep associating it with not being able to swallow last night, and my stress is just getting the best of me bec I'm all alone right now. I hate being alone, well... not being alone. I just hate being alone when something is wrong with me in case something happens and none is here for me. I have to take my sleeping pill I hope I can swallow it...

My Dearest L...

Man, do I have stuff to catch you up on!! There has been so much happening lately.

I'll be posting ALOT soon so make sure you keep up 🖤

MY DEAREST L…

Ever just want to escape to I different time in the world? well I do, I wish I could go back to the 1800s when the light was nothing but an open candle flame and beds were made of the finest satin in the world, a time when love was actually love and guy's were begging to be held in the arms of anyone that would love them when even the moon longed for company.

Do you think the sun is as lonely as the moon? or do you think they are okay with being apart, I mean, I know the moon has her stars and the sun has his clouds but sometimes you just need more than that.

Ever sit in your room and smell something bad so you get up and look around your room for the smell and can't find it but it's following you around and you're just left standing there and are like "WTF IS THAT SMELL??!?!?!" then you realize that it's you that smells like shit.....

My Dearest L...

If a demon ever took over my body, I’d just hand it over and be like you can take it from here... good luck bitch in my world!!

My Dearest L...

Well it's 6:21am and I'm still up... ever feel as if you're just wasting your life away? like your waiting for that one person to just come into your life that will make it something again, get you off your bed, make you feel something again... I wonder where that person is for me sometimes... I sit in my room day after day sleeping my whole day away never seeing sunlight very much anymore only the very few seconds I get when I pop my sleeping in the morning the sun jumps through my window crack. other than that I just don't see it, I try to think that maybe I'll actually get up and do something beautiful with my life but honestly I just don't have the energy for that stuff right now. all my friends moved away or just didn't talk to me anymore. I only have the ones on my phone but who wants to stare at a screen all the time you know. I forgot how to even make friends like how do I put effort to put myself out there when none wants to even get to know me? I just don't really attract people I guess... anyway I'm off to bed now. see ya on the flipside!!!

Dear, Elisa Lam...

I have watched and read your story over and over again and I am yet to believe that you did this to yourself, there is no way they can make it sound like you have done this to yourself. There were so many people in that hotel that could have done this to you. and the fact that none helped you in the hotel while you were in your bipolar ep. Makes me so angry, what did they say again when they said you were screaming in the lobby, oh yes that’s right! they said, “It’s just another day at the Cecil hotel”...

May you rest in peace now Elisa Lam....🖤⛓️

My Dearest L...

Today, was a easy day so far. i got to go to the store today. it was not what i ecxpected, it was pretty boring....