My Dearest L...

Work is nothing but a never ending chain till death.

Japanese low-fi just hits different.

My Dearest L...

I FUCKING HATE YOU for bringing him over that night and letting him talk to me, you knew I was vulnerable and I wasn't in the right state of mind and you still let him slip into my feelings, my thoughts, my heart... he dug and dug down into my heart and laid his bed and made himself at home, he walked around talking to her and you knew for so damn FUCKING long and told me to damn late you knew how much I put into him.. I did things for him I would of never of did for ANYONE in my life. but he was dif and you saw it in my eye's and you still let him break me in the end. you let him slip away tbh we all you, me and J......

“How amazing is it to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.”

— Nina LaCour

My Dearest L…

I’m sorry, it’s been so long. since i last wrote to you but i had to take time to myself and just focuse on the me in the now. but now i’m back and i’m off to walmart, to get some food. i’m also going to see my bestfriend today!!!! cuz she got me a gift for me and my sisiter. i wounder what it is, cuz lastnight she sent me a pic of a penis cookie. as funny as it would be i hope that’s not the gift XD cuz i want more of a superise you know. well till tonight. gtg byeeee....

My Dearest L...

I woke up today thinking that it was going to be a good day, time passes so slowly when you are in your room blocked away from the outside world for so long. I haven't gone to work in about a month and a half not that I don't want want to go back, I just don't think I can without her help. cleaning room's alone just won't be the same without her help, she's been in the hospital just as long as I've been out of work. she seems to be getting better but I think she's just hiding the truth from me bec she doesn't think I can handle it and the truth is I probably can't handle it. I miss her so much... I just want her to come home and be with me and my sister again like things used to be but nothing will be the same now. the scary part is that I might only have about 5 years left with her till her sickness takes her from us all... I try to think about it, it's not worth the stress to live in it. I try to just live as much as I can with her while we still have her. time is not something she has much of but the time we spend together. why does he have to take her so soon from us??!!??

It will be time for bed when the cigarette hits the floor

TheSadBoisClub

My Dearest L...

I know. I know it's been a long time since I posted prob only been about a week or two but for me, it feels like years. I just wanted to clear my head and come on here and vent some shit out. you ever just sit in your room at night in the dark. FYI that is NOT what I am doing right now I am on my computer in the dark in my room XD but that is not what I'm trying to get at. now do you ever just sit there and think YES ENTHEO EVERYONE THINKS" thank's inner voice, anyways you're just thinking, and then that one thought comes into your head "I'm going to get arrested!!" did I do anything wrong no! did I steal anything NO! okay now though you may leave. but does it no... then you start thinking even more and you like back when I was 5 I stole gum that was like 50c now I'm going to damn jail and I'm never going to have a family or kids MY LIFE IS OOOVVVEEERR!!!!.... then you snap back to reality and you just are like what was I thinking about again...

MY DEAREST L…

so an update on how I'm doing, my stress is going and leaving I'm tired but scared to sleep... and my swallowing is getting a bit better but not by much. I just want to wake up tomorrow and everything be back to normal, ugh I hate having stuff wrong with me. I can't even eat hard food bec I keep associating it with not being able to swallow last night, and my stress is just getting the best of me bec I'm all alone right now. I hate being alone, well... not being alone. I just hate being alone when something is wrong with me in case something happens and none is here for me. I have to take my sleeping pill I hope I can swallow it...