no >:3
Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.
Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?
Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.
Alien: What??
Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.
Alien: wHAT?!
Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.
Alien: WHaT ?!?!
Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.
Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.
Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.
EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…
Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*
Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf
Edit 4: STOP REBLOGING THISSSSSS
bro you just dunked a bunch of bears how could you they're gonna get ear infections
hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...
Breakdown just bein a lil guy, and then Knockout imagining the wattpad smut 😭
i have to keep my friends from throwing rocks at snakes and trying to pet them. independent my ass, we need eachother.
them: SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST MEANS HUMANS MUST BE INDIVIDUALLY SELF-SUFFICIENT AND COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT
biologist:
unfortunately for them, soundwave has found out about human christmas traditions and now they have to deal with him
low-key spooked-
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
that would trap me too, ngl.
the trap has been laid
real
gonna see how far this goes without any tags.
me.
Reblog if you're not human