isnt it funny how calling people out on their shit makes you the bad guy?
how do you tell someone “i’m not ignoring you i’m just disconnected from reality right now and the days are all blurred together and i feel completely apathetic towards everyone/everything around me so it’s really hard for me to maintain a conversation” without saying that
Sleep: Rambling #6
17th April 2022, 02:23
I never seem to sleep anymore, and when I do sleep, I wake up every hour. I have nightmare after nightmare - they’re usually about my sister. I also seem to hallucinate a lot around the time I’m supposed to sleep/wake up (that’s probably just because I’m sleep deprived, though I would like to not see tarantulas crawling up my wall for once). I’m taking 20mg of Amitriptyline, but it feels like I’m taking sugar pills. They’re supposed to help my Fibromyalgia and help me fall asleep, but I’m still in pain and I’m still wide awake. I wonder what it is like to get good quality sleep. I feel like I would be able to get so much done. I have so many ambitions and dreams, but I can barely get out of bed without collapsing. My body is giving up on me. My brain is giving up on me. Life is giving up on me. I don’t know what to try anymore. If anybody would like to knock me out with a baseball bat, please go ahead.
~ 化け猫 (Bakeneko)
ugh i feel so pretty and feminine when i st4rve myself
I low-key wanna attempt suicide just so i can get admitted to a hospital and people can actually know that im not okay and care for me a bit, im just tired of pretending to be okay all the time.
Me going about my day normally
My brain: Damn, you should kill yourself
Would anybody fancy doing a mxm Genshin apocalypse AU? The ships I enjoy are pinned on my page (but you’re welcome to propose ships as well). I’d really like to get into the nitty gritty parts of an apocalypse, like hurt/comfort, near death experiences, trying to be silent during NSFW, huddling for warmth, fighting other survivors, rainstorms, getting sick, etc. I’d like this plot to contain gore, so please be comfortable with that! And, I would also like both characters to be versatile/switches as I find this adds more depth to the plot. Let’s make headcanons, send fanart, become friends OOC, and geek out over our boys together. Please be 18+, and I only RP on Discord. Like this post or send me a message!
Do you ever feel like everyone around you is annoyed by you, they want you around cause they'll feel bad if you're gone. But they don't need you and you feel toxic, you're just HERE. Hahaha cause yea I want to die
pretending to be interested in anything but myself is exhausting.
Minor inconvenience:
Me: how about i end up in the fucking hospital how about that