I Want To Destroy Everything. I Want To Ruin My Life, Smash Glass Bottles Agaisnt Walls, Run Away Into

girl i am so deeply unhappy

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ RP Finder ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

Hello, folks. I’m writing another RP finder as I have a never-ending suspire for more.

About me: Fluent English, literate/advanced literate, 18+, and I write on Discord. I am down for any kind of plot, this includes controversial topics.

What I’m looking for: I prefer to play MxM or FxF. The characters I play are written in purple:

Genshin: Razor x Bennett, Gorou x Heizou, Xingqiu x Chongyun, Kazuha x Scaramouche, Tighnari x Cyno

Arcane: Caitlyn x Vi, Viktor x Jayce, Jinx x Ekko, Jinx x Vi (platonic), Jinx x Isha (platonic)

Yuri on Ice: Yuri P x Otabek

Wednesday: Wednesday x Enid

Sk8 the Infinity: Langa x Reki

Haikyuu: Kenma x Kuroo

Overwatch: Hanzo x Cassidy, Hanzo x Genji

AIB: Chishiya x Arisu, Chishiya x Niragi

Please either like this post or DM me and we can plot something together. I love head-cannoning, sharing fanart, and becoming friends OOC. Please consider! Thanks ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵

“it’s easier to love than to hate”

nope. not always. not for everyone. sometimes it’s easier to be angry. sometimes it’s easier to hate people and sometimes all you want to do is yell or scream or slam things about.

sometimes it takes a monumental effort to choose to be kind.

and that’s okay! you’re not broken if your default, easy option, is something that is often frowned upon. you’re not broken if you find it hard to do the right thing.

I’m proud of you for trying your best and for pushing through, despite the odds. I’m proud of you for working hard. I’m proud of you for still trying, even when you stuff up sometimes.

you’re allowed to find kindness and love hard.

you’re allowed to be kind for “the wrong reasons”.

you’re allowed to exist.

Daddy Issues: Rambling #10

18th April 2022, 00:46

Rambling 10. How coincidental that I write about my father on the same number that is my birthday. Anyway, I have a problem that is very taboo. It concerns incest. I believe my father may have molested me as a child, but I cannot remember. My father did a lot of sketchy, sexual things when I was younger, but I can never remember them directly. My sister believes the same. It can’t just be my imagination. He did something, I just wish I could uncover what. I know it is my brain protecting me, but I just crave to know. I hate being none the wiser to things. I digress, that’s not the fucked up part. The fucked up part is now, whenever I’m masturbating, I picture my father raping me when I’m a child of maybe 6 or 7 years old. I like to pretend he’s touching me and comforting me that it’s “okay” and that “what I’m feeling is normal”. I pretend that he gets hard at the thought of me. I know what his penis looks like, I remember it hanging out his boxers when he was sleeping. I also remember momentarily touching myself to the sight of it, but stopping from the taboo. I don’t know what it is about my father that turns me on. I know it’s definitely a stockholm type of symptom, a consequence of sexual abuse, but I don’t know how to get rid of it. I’m not attracted to my father. He’s fat and ugly. Nothing, not a single thing, about him is attractive to me. Still, I can’t stop thinking about him overpowering me, or putting his penis in me while I’m sleeping. Whenever I have these thoughts, and especially if I cum to them, I have to wash myself afterwards. Sometimes I wash myself so many times that my skin turns red and blotchy. I feel disgusting. I feel like he has taken my virginity and yet, to my knowledge, I’m a virgin. Why is my mind corrupted by him like this? I haven’t seen him in years. The power he has over me is astounding. I wish he would just die both physically and inside my head. Leave me alone. Leave my body alone. I was just a child. I didn’t deserve that. I don’t deserve this.

~ 化け猫 (Bakeneko)

i hate having to get better like bitch just let me die 😫

"Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires."

- William Shakespeare // Macbeth

im so tired of neurotypicals using "god complex" as some quirky label. its a grandiose delusion. its not a fun item to attatch to yourself to make yourself seem cooler. stop using mental illness as a trend and/or aesthetic. jesus fucking christ, educate yourselves.

something mildly annoying about someone expressing emotions so much. be hollow.like me . wdym ur happy no ur not