[planning To Attack Another Ship]

Stede: We call that a traumatic moment.

Stede, turning to Frenchie: Not a 'bruh moment'.

Stede, turning to Black Pete: Not a 'major L'.

Stede, turning to Jim: And definitely not an "OOF LMAO".

The Swede: It's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it?

Oluwande: That's the back of the map.

Black Pete, standing on the dinner table: This place has gone to HELL!

Stede, to Ed: He does this once a week.

Stede: I made you a playlist! It has some songs I know you like, but I threw in a few yeehaw type jams 'cause you're a yeehaw type person!

Ed: I'm a what?

Lucius, not looking up from his book: He said you're a yeehaw type person.

Blackbeard: Gotta keep it profesh, you know?

Izzy: Yes, because that's what all professionals do: they call it 'profesh.'

[as ghost hunters]

Oluwande: I think a ghost just grabbed my ass!

Ghost: It wasn't me, it was Jim.

Jim: what the fuck dude

Stede: And now it's time for some witty back and forth banter!

Izzy: [screams with rage]

Stede: I don't know where to go with that.

Stede: Sometimes, people ask me how I manage my crew so easily. The answer is, I don't.

Stede: Yesterday The Swede called me into the kitchen and when I got there, Roach shot me in the throat with a Nerf gun.

Izzy: Edward, we've been looking all over for you. You can't just leave a sign on your desk that says "gone leavin'".

Roach: That's one of my biggest fears.

Lucius: What is?

Roach: If I ever, like, woke up as a donut...

Lucius: You'd eat yourself?

Roach: i wouldn't even question it