[on The Crow's Nest]

[as ghost hunters]

Oluwande: I think a ghost just grabbed my ass!

Ghost: It wasn't me, it was Jim.

Jim: what the fuck dude

Blackbeard: Hey, Stede-

Stede: [crying softly in front of the TV]

Blackbeard: Oh, did the documentary mention another bird that mates for life?

Stede: [nods]

Oluwande: Whenever Jim is mad at me, I tighten the lids on all the jars so they have to get help from me.

[glass breaks in the background]

Oluwande: It hasn't worked yet, but it'll happen.

Oluwande: Almost hit Buttons with my car today. I was pulling up to the house and apparently he didn't see me. So this guy darts out in front of me and I hit the brakes-

Oluwande: And he fucking dabs.

Oluwande: His automatic reaction to almost getting hit by a car was to just fucking dab. His LAST MOMENTS would have been a sick ass dab.

Oluwande: i'm worried about him

Stede: I made you a playlist! It has some songs I know you like, but I threw in a few yeehaw type jams 'cause you're a yeehaw type person!

Ed: I'm a what?

Lucius, not looking up from his book: He said you're a yeehaw type person.

Lucius: I have an empty notebook and no idea what to put in it. Any suggestions?

The Swede: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you.

Roach: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except-

Frenchie: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: I am current-

Wee John: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: i am not longer taking suggestions

Black Pete, standing on the dinner table: This place has gone to HELL!

Stede, to Ed: He does this once a week.

Lucius, holding the door open: After you.

Izzy: Nah. I never let anyone walk behind me. 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear.

Lucius: Okay, but that still leaves a 30% chance I'll attack you from the front.

Izzy: Yeah, but it'd be easier to stop. Or I could counter it-

Lucius: [slaps him]

The Swede: It's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it?

Oluwande: That's the back of the map.

Stede: Sometimes, people ask me how I manage my crew so easily. The answer is, I don't.

Stede: Yesterday The Swede called me into the kitchen and when I got there, Roach shot me in the throat with a Nerf gun.