Hope This Doesn't Awaken Anything In Me

GLASS SHATTERING] [CAR CRASH] VROOM [PEOPLE SCREAMING] [EXPLOSION] “MY LEG…MY LEG” [BABY CRYING] “WAAAH WAAAH” [HELICOPTER NOISES] [SIRENS] WEE WOO WEE WOO [GUNSHOTS] [SCREAMING NOISES] CALL THE AMBULANCE [SOBBING] [YELLING] [FLAT LINE]

a study

eating pastries is so humiliating cause you'll be having the time of your life having it and then when you're finished you look down and you're covered in flakes and sugardust like fuuuck now everyone is going to know i'm a messy pastry whore

“why sister daniel and blond phil? this is just phil! this is phil all the time! this is not dan before the clock strikes 12, this is just phil now!” no no i can accept that phil is blond now like i will concede that this:

is phil. but this:

is NOT phil. this is a butch lesbian with a motorcycle who is dating sister daniel. nothing you say will convince me of anything else ok. that’s not phil that’s the head of DOB leading the march before going to pick up her girlfriend from the convent for hot lesbian sex. they have nothing to do with dan and phil. separate entities. stop lesbian erasure 😤

Previously on Dan and Phil: 2016 ↳ [ Dan / Phil / DAPG / DAPShop ]

dan: I vow to be your companion through every phase of our lives and to cherish you as my eternal consolation prize. Even at our worst, I vow to never leave your side as my tretoureas soul is a mere extension of yours...even if souls aren't real. You are my partner, my lover, my very best friend, my arch nemesis, my heart, my soul. And on this day I pledge to give you my all because it's yours anyway. Since even the darkest corners of my heart string and pull at the beat of your heart.

sometimes i’m trying to fall asleep and my brain is like “and this is when, through the magic of the internet, i met phil. and obviously we were more than friends. this is someone that genuinely liked me. i trusted them. and for the first time since i was a tiny child, i actually felt safe. and the relationship we formed at that point was something that i needed in my life. we are real best friends, companions through life, like actual soulmates, not that souls are a real thing that exist. it’s so lucky to just find someone you can be that compatible with and especially to anyone that has experienced the kind of self-hatred that i have dealt with, one person accepting you can make all the difference.”

true love is sacrificing your birthday cake being chocolate for your partners health and then immediately making him drink the most disgusting concoction of soup and licorice water for a gaming video