I Know I Haven't Been On This App In A Fat Minute Cause I Opened My App And Realized My Bio Said I Was

I remember being driven in an ambulance to a mental hospital and I was making jokes (it's a coping skill of mine) and one of the doctors in the car told me that I was bright for my age and he wished more people were like me. Two weeks later when I was being transported by van to the residential facility and I was I little quieter but every now and then I would tell a joke or two. The guy driving the van turned to look at me and told me that I was such a fun person and that I had a future where I would finally be happy. I still remember his face and his name was Lauffe. He always laughed at my jokes for the months of my stay and was so friendly. While I was there I met so many amazing people and it pained me to see them going through so much shit. I cared about all of them and I still remember all of them. Emily, Vanessa, Alora/Ace, Jacob, Julio, Andreza, Cassy, and a few more. If you guys are reading this, it's potato and I still think about you guys and hope you're alright. People really do care... 💖💖

please don't ever think that no one cares about you

I work in an ER and we see suicides all the time. And we get at least 3 suicidal ideations a night. We all care about you. I promise, we do. A team of complete strangers who have worked 3+ 12 hour shifts this week who are being screamed at all day and night and probably haven’t had lunch and trust me, we still love you and care about you.

We had a 16 year old patient last night who we couldn’t save. We were in that room with this patient for over an hour, we did everything we could. And let me tell you, we all cried. The EMT’s, the nurses, the doctor. We all huddled together in the doctors dictation room and cried.

I went through the rest of my shift with smudged mascara and tracks on my cheeks.

I remember the names of all the patients that have taken their lives on my shifts.

I remember squeezing the hands, smoothing the hair, kissing the foreheads, and wiping away the blood and the vomit of every patient that has left me too soon.

I can still see every face that I have zipped into a body bag.

Trust me, someone cares about you. You have never met them yet. You don’t ever think about them. They are never remembered when you talk about heroes and role models.

But someone loves you.

TMNT in correspondence to elements of earth

So my friend (who's a big nerd) walked in on me fangirling about TMNT and commented on how he didn't really like the series because the character development sucked. Of course I argued back but none of what I was saying was making any sense to him, so finally I attempted to put my insight into a perspective that he would understand.

As I see it the family of turtles (and their rat dad/sensei) are similar to aspects of the earth. Imagine that earth itself is New York City and the sun is the Foot Clan, each member of the family is an unseen force connecting to the earth.

Leo is the magnetic field surrounding the planet and keeping everything in place. He could also be gravity because he keeps the team grounded and in place even when they try to break and or test the boundaries. His family expects him to always do his job and they rely on him to lead them, but sometimes he finally starts to feel the strain of keeping everyone together and considers giving up. However he continues his efforts because that's what he's supposed to do, so he puts his problems aside and does what he needs to do for his family.

Raph is solar flares sent from the sun because some people who aren't familiar with the film think he's going to turn and go rogue (which he kinda does in 2007), but also because his opinion is contradictory to the other family member's. He also clashes with Leo (the magnetic field) who keeps him from causing destruction, and although his take on things are normally considered dangerous or extreme, after passing through his brother's rage his words come out as something beautiful that people treasure if they take the time to appreciate it (in other words it becomes the Aurora Borealis). Plus he tends to remind the team that there's a whole other point of view of which to view things from, constantly giving the team a reality check.

Donnie is the atmosphere, giving people the air they need to breathe easy and also evolving the species according to the environment. He may not always be viewed as a very important piece of the team but he is an essential aspect of their success. His inventions make it possible to get things done and are why they didn't die jumping off a plane. He is prepared for anything and never hesitates to do what he needs to do to help his family.

Mikey is the weather, giving everyone what they need to keep moving. When the team is in a heated argument he's the clouds attempting to cool the mood, when they feel like giving up and quitting he's the e rain giving them the small push to keep moving on and growing. People see him as annoying and assume he's just getting in the way when in reality his 'unnecessary humor' is just him trying to lighten the mood and cheer everyone up as well as cheering them on.

Then Splinter is the core of the earth, keeping the planet, and it's elements, under his good influence and keeping everything running smoothly.

All in all I think I did a pretty good job, although my friend is now concerned with how much time I'm spending on anything related to the fandom. 😂

All hail the money dog

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

*old wizard voice* FOOL OF A TOUQE

good non gendered words to say instead of dude to someone who doesnt want to be called a dude

buddy

bud

pal

neighbor

*australian voice* mate

*cowboy voice* partner

When you're writing and you realize you have to kill off a character

When you're writing and you suddenly realize you don't know what happens next

Tied

Hawks x F!Reader

This is pure smut. *yeets fic at @redrehab​* MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCH, I LOVE YOU <3

You stared down at your phone for what must have been the hundredth time in the last hour. Be ready for me angel. That was all it said and, coming from your boyfriend, it could mean a variety of things. However, minutes after receiving the text, he had sent an attachment. Staring back at you was an image of his clothed cock straining against the trousers of his hero costume.

The shiver that ran through your body was one of excitement as you dug through your drawers for the perfect attire to greet him in. An hour later the sound of tapping against your window drew your attention as the hero slipped through and landed in your room. When he saw your scarcely clad form laying across your mattress he let out a low moan as his wings folded behind him and he took the steps between you two, discarding his jacket and goggles before he was on you. When your lips crashed with Hawks’ it was sloppy and wet, but it perfectly conveyed the desire behind each swipe of his tongue and every stroke of his hands in your hair. You pulled him down against you as you rolled your body up into his in an attempt to relieve the pressure in your core. 

Hawks growled as his hips snapped up to meet yours, his hands reaching down to strip himself of his shirt which joined his jacket on the floor. You couldn’t help the moan that left your lips as your hands roamed across his muscular chest. When your hands wandered down to the hem of his pants, drawing teasing feather light touches across the skin, his lips detached themselves from yours to stare down at you with his piercing yellow eyes. “Fuck angel, you’re just begging for me aren’t you?”

Instead of responding you dug a hand into his hair and tugged it to the side so you could kiss and nip along his neck. For a minute he seemed to be enjoying the attention, but all too soon his hand was wrapped around your neck as he forced your head against the mattress. “Oh baby, you should know better than this,” he purred in your ear as his hand reached down to unbutton his pants.

Once he was standing in nothing bit his boxers his hand tightened around your throat as he whispered, "stay right here for me angel." You could only whimper in response and he gives you a chaste kiss before walking over to your shared dresser and retrieving some silky rope. As he walked back you obediently lifted your hands above your head and he smirked in appreciation. 

As he tied your wrists to the headboard you came face to face with his sculpted chest. You bit your lip as you watched his muscles flex above you. Before you could stop yourself you ran your tongue along the grooves of each ab, shivering at the sweet, but salty taste that covered your lover. You felt him shiver above you before he finished tying you and moved back to look you in the eye. "What do you want babygirl?"

You arched yourself into him as much as you could. "Please Kiego, touch me," you begged, grinding your leg against his clothed cock. His hips bucked at the friction and his hands snaked underneath you to remove the red bralette, your breasts bouncing out into his waiting palms.

"God, look at you," he groaned as his eyes roamed over your bare torso before coming to land on the marching red panties you still wore. His hands trailed down your body leaving goosebumps in their wake as his fingers slowly hooked into the waistband of your panties and pulled them down. "Already so wet for me."

His mouth latched onto your thigh and he bit down, eliciting a moan out of you. He licked the mark before leaving a light kiss and moving towards your core.

His tongue licked at your folds and you gasped at the absolute sinful sound that left his mouth. "You taste divine angel, so ready for my cock," he growled as he inserted a finger into your sopping entrance and curled it just right.

"Yes Kiego. Fuck I want you inside of me," you moaned as he added another finger. Hawks was taking his time, but you weren't having any of it. As his mouth and fingers continued to work against your core, your fingers reached up towards the knot holding your wrists. "Babe please," you begged, and your boyfriend lifted his head, his fingers still moving inside of you.

"What was that baby?" He asked with a smirk. You bit your lip and glared at him as your fingers laced themselves into his blonde hair and pulled him up for a kiss. You both moaned into each others mouths as his fingers left you. When you separated he lifted his fingers to your mouth, his eyes burning with lust as he said, "suck."

As your lips closed around his fingertips, your hands suddenly wrapped around him as you flipped your positions. Hawks let out a startled yelp and his feathers ruffled, but before he could react you had tied his hands together with the silky rope. "I'm sorry little bird, but you're mine now," you muttered as you brought his arms behind his head with one hand and pulled his head to the side with the other.

Your lips brushed against his jaw line before biting into the skin of his neck, drawing out a deep moan from your lover. "Come on love, let me take care of you," whispered against his lips. Your hands reached down to remove his boxers and his cock finally sprang free. You hovered your dripping entrance over his cock as you smirked at him. "Tell me what you want Kiego, beg me for it," you instructed as you nibbled at his ear.

"[Y/N], please," he begged and you pulled at his restraints. "Fuck, please angel, I want to be inside of you, I want to fill that pretty pussy of yours."

Satisfied with his answer you pulled his arms over your head as you sunk down onto him. As you took a second to adjust to him you felt his legs quiver beneath you. God he was already so close. "Awe, are you really so aroused by me taking control of you little bird?"

You barely heard the breathy, "yes," as he thrust his hips up into yours. Good god, he definitely wasn't little, no matter how much you teased him with the nickname. In response you ground down against him as you sunk your teeth into his shoulder.

"Angel I- shit… I'm not gonna last long."

Honestly neither were you after looking at his face. His eyes were half kidded, his pupils blown wide as he watched himself disappear inside of you. His mouth was open as he let out heavy pants and his hair was sticking to his forehead, his wings splayed out beneath him and twitching slightly.

Fuck if he wasn't the most beautiful person you'd ever seen.

Your hips began to stutter as Hawks started to piston his hips up into yours, meeting your hips with each downward thrust. 

"God Kiego, are you going to fill me up? Do it, fill me with your cum."

His hips snapped up a final time before both of you were overcome by your orgasms. You felt Hawks body spasm beneath you and a sense of pride that you had been the one to fill him with so much pleasure.

You carefully untied his wrists and dropped the rope to the floor as you kissed him slowly. "Are you ok love?"

Hawks nodded and pulled you closer as he cuddled into your chest. "Perfect. I love you so much [Y/N]."

You smiled happily as you watched him fall asleep against you, your hand combing through his hair as you pulled the sheets over both of you and whispered, "I love you too Kiego."

I FUCKING SNORTED 😂😂💗👏

Dad jokes the guys from class 1A would tell xD

I feel like I turned this into a low-key roast session for some of these dudes OOPS LMFAO

Bakugo :  What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off? A song bird.

Todoroki :  RIP boiled water—you will be mist.

Tokoyami :  Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out standing in his field.

Sato :  What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!

Kaminari :  What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.

Shoji  Why is cold water so insecure? Because it’s never called hot.

Koda :  I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.

Iida :  I signed up for a marathon, but how will I know if it’s the real deal or just a run through?

Mineta :  What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Aoyama :  Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

Sero :  I’m thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it’s only holding me back.

Kirishima : Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged. 

Midoryia :  The rotation of earth really makes my day.

Ojiro :  Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"

Bonus 

All Might : It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Aizawa :  If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

Genius

@nathanwpyle

I literally love this.

I couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes.

No joke.

Friggin angels man!

Let’s play a game!

When you see this, reblog and add a Supernatural quote. No repeats!!

I’ll start:

Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.

I like that they tryna change things but it's too much.

Thoughts on 2018 Turtles

I am trying so hard to like it.

I am trying to like the new turtles.

Like trying.

But I’m just like…