TMNT In Correspondence To Elements Of Earth

*Leo telling at him*

"STOP THROWING THINGS! PUT MIKEY DOWN! I SWEAR TO GOD PICASSO!!"

*Splinter talking to him*

"Picasso my son, you must control your temper."

*When the boys find something broken*

"NO PICASSO!!" "CAN PICASSO NOT SMASH FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE?!"

Do you have any Raph headcanons? I don't really know what to specify, just anything would be super cool! (I love your writing and reading through your blog, keep up the good work!!!)

((Thanks so much, this is the best I can do right now.))

-Raphael sleeps with one leg hanging off the bed. For body temperature regulation purposes. Maybe an arm will be included.

-He has an old stash of **magazines** under his mattress. Amazing what people throw away.

-His favorite food (besides pizza) is Enchiladas. I feel like he’d have a taste for spicy things…Mexican food in general??

-He sometimes thinks about how the rest of his brothers’ names ends with an “o” and his doesn’t. It makes him feel like he stands out, but not entirely in the weird, outstandish way. If the shoe fits…

-Raphael sure was the bullying-type of brother when he was younger, but quickly grew out of that after he hurt Donnie’s feelings a little too much. He got in sooo much trouble with Splinter and learned his lesson real fucking quick, though he naturally regretted doing it even before his punishment.

This made my fucking day. I'm wheezing at these

Incorrect Tmnt quotes

Mikey: What does 'take out' mean? Donnie: Food. Leo: Dating Raph: Murder Y/n: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Donnie: Favourite horror movie?

Mikey: It

Raph: Saw

Leo: Annabelle

Y/n: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

Leo: Croissants: dropped

Raph: Road: works ahead

Y/n: BBQ sauce: on my titties

April: Shavacado: fre

Mikey: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Donnie:

Donnie: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Y/n: Change is inedible.

Donnie: Don't you mean inevitable?

Y/n, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

Mikey: Hey Donnie,

Donnie: Yes?

Mikey: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Donnie:

Donnie: Where’s Y/n?

Donnie: April isn’t answering their phone

Y/n: I’ll call

Donnie: Casey and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

April: Hello?

Y/n: Top 30 reasons why y/n is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Raph: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

Mikey: I'm incredibly fast at maths.

Y/n: Alright, what's 30x17?

Mikey: 47

Y/n: That's not even close.

Mikey: But it was fast.

Donnie: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Raph: Nope, absolutely not.

Leo: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Mikey: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Casey: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Y/n: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Splinter: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Leo: ...I did. I broke it.

Splinter: No. No you didn't. Mikey?

Mikey: Don't look at me. Look at Y/n.

Y/n: What?! I didn't break it.

Mikey: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Y/n: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Mikey: Suspicious.

Y/n: No, it's not!

Raph: If it matters, probably not, but April was the last one to use it.

April: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Raph: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

April: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Raph!

Leo: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, person A.

Splinter: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Raph: Splinter... Donnie’s been awfully quiet.

Donnie: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Splinter, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Splinter: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Splinter:

Splinter: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

'Can I copy the homework?'

Donnie: I can help you with it!

April: Yeah, sure.

Y/n: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Raph: lol nope.

Mikey: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Leo: *Read 5:55pm*

Leo: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

Leo, driving y/n and April: So how was your day?

Y/n: We almost got surprise adopted!

Leo: What?

April: We almost got kidnapped.

Leo: Oh, okay.

Leo: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

I'm feeling down today so how about a depressing ask. What if the guys knew something was wrong with their crush and when they finally ask/get it out of them their crush starts crying and in the most serious tone says, "I just want it all to end, I just want to die..." How would the boy's react? Thank you for your time💖💗

Leo: his jaw would drop just a little when they fall against his shoulder, body racked with sobs. he’d pull them close instantly, forgetting completely about how nervous he used to be having them close, how his face would heat up uncontrollably… he’d only care about making them not hurt anymore. he’d rub their back and let them cry, saying over and over again, “please don’t die. the world wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Raph: he’d take hold of their shoulders say with all the tender seriousness in the world, “Listen. I know things suck right now. But” he’d poke their nose and make em giggle just a little through their tears “you have to promise me you’ll NEVER let anything make you feel anything less than completely worth it. ‘kay?” He’d hug them fiercely. “Cuz you’re awesome, and if I believe it, then… no one else’s opinion matters. Cuz…cuz I’m awesome too.” Cue more tortured laughs.

Donnie: he has an enormous vocabulary, a huge vault of memory that holds thousands, maybe even millions of iotas of knowledge. He could spout off any sort of advice he wants… but let’s be honest, Donatello knows what it feels like to be without hope. He looks at them with the most heartbroken look, and just opens his arms a little. His crush slams into his bear hug, and they sit there, buried in each other, letting sorrow wash over and through them for a while.

Mikey: he’d say “oh baby cakes, no…” he’d rush forward and wipe the tears from their eyes, offering them a tiny smile. “whatever it is, i’ll help you through it. pinky promise.” he takes their hands and attempts to entwine his huge last finger with their finger. he’d grin, but the smile would fade when he saw their sad  features. he’d stroke their cheek real gentle, and whisper, “we’ll get through this. YOU will get through this. You can do it.”

*All the seagulls from Finding Nemo at once*

When ya see someone eating something you’d put in the fridge to save for later:

When you’re heading to the bathroom and you see someone heading there at the same time:

When your asshole brothers don’t understand that you’re the leader and you totally know what needs to be done and you need to tell those fuckers that the only opinion that (you think) matters is

"RETREAT!! GET TO SAFE GROUND!"

"SHUT UP MIKEY!!"

*Here comes China*

"What in the world..."

"GOT HER!"

"RAPH, PLEASE ACCEPT THIS OFFERING AS WELL AS OUR DEEPEST APOLOGIES."

HC that Raph has a fine china tea set and NOBODY CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE.

It’s official in my book.

Can’t change my mind, sorry.

I FUCKING SNORTED 😂😂💗👏

Dad jokes the guys from class 1A would tell xD

I feel like I turned this into a low-key roast session for some of these dudes OOPS LMFAO

Bakugo :  What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off? A song bird.

Todoroki :  RIP boiled water—you will be mist.

Tokoyami :  Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out standing in his field.

Sato :  What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!

Kaminari :  What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.

Shoji  Why is cold water so insecure? Because it’s never called hot.

Koda :  I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.

Iida :  I signed up for a marathon, but how will I know if it’s the real deal or just a run through?

Mineta :  What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Aoyama :  Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

Sero :  I’m thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it’s only holding me back.

Kirishima : Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged. 

Midoryia :  The rotation of earth really makes my day.

Ojiro :  Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"

Bonus 

All Might : It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Aizawa :  If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

Headcannon that the first time you bring a stack of paper to the lair you realize they don't have a Shredder😂😂

*slams hands on the table*

Line up bitches, yall getting downloaded

internet friends are kinda like illegally downloaded friends. you don’t get the physical copy but you still get all the great content

I remember being driven in an ambulance to a mental hospital and I was making jokes (it's a coping skill of mine) and one of the doctors in the car told me that I was bright for my age and he wished more people were like me. Two weeks later when I was being transported by van to the residential facility and I was I little quieter but every now and then I would tell a joke or two. The guy driving the van turned to look at me and told me that I was such a fun person and that I had a future where I would finally be happy. I still remember his face and his name was Lauffe. He always laughed at my jokes for the months of my stay and was so friendly. While I was there I met so many amazing people and it pained me to see them going through so much shit. I cared about all of them and I still remember all of them. Emily, Vanessa, Alora/Ace, Jacob, Julio, Andreza, Cassy, and a few more. If you guys are reading this, it's potato and I still think about you guys and hope you're alright. People really do care... 💖💖

please don't ever think that no one cares about you

I work in an ER and we see suicides all the time. And we get at least 3 suicidal ideations a night. We all care about you. I promise, we do. A team of complete strangers who have worked 3+ 12 hour shifts this week who are being screamed at all day and night and probably haven’t had lunch and trust me, we still love you and care about you.

We had a 16 year old patient last night who we couldn’t save. We were in that room with this patient for over an hour, we did everything we could. And let me tell you, we all cried. The EMT’s, the nurses, the doctor. We all huddled together in the doctors dictation room and cried.

I went through the rest of my shift with smudged mascara and tracks on my cheeks.

I remember the names of all the patients that have taken their lives on my shifts.

I remember squeezing the hands, smoothing the hair, kissing the foreheads, and wiping away the blood and the vomit of every patient that has left me too soon.

I can still see every face that I have zipped into a body bag.

Trust me, someone cares about you. You have never met them yet. You don’t ever think about them. They are never remembered when you talk about heroes and role models.

But someone loves you.

This is beautiful😂😂

Ok so I literally can't breathe I'm laughing so hard just thinking about this. So let's say the turtles and crush are watching a movie when she farts (a silent but deadly) but doesn't say anything, just waits for a reaction. When the Bros smell it who's gonna start pointing fingers at who? (Bonus points if she just blatantly states, "it was me," and their reactions to that) 😂😂😂😂 Thank you so much! You're amazing!

I LAUGHED OUT LOUD IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS JESUS H CHRISTIAN

Leo:

He thinks it’s so childish to fart in the middle of everyone, so he assumes it’s Mikey being Mikey and begins to exercise his gift of holding breath for long intervals. The bros are all chiding each other, saying how unclassy it was to do that in front of a lady. When crush nonchalantly admits it was her, Leo’s eyes almost pop out of his head in shock. While the rest of his brothers are cracking up, Leo kinda gapes, wondering how anyone could have such courage as to… let one loose in public.

Raph: 

He knows it’s her the moment he smells it. He looks over and sees her lips pursed, trying to hold back a smile, and her legs are pressed together unusually tightly. He accuses her right off the bat, waving a hand in front of his nose and announcing to the entire lair, “GEEZ, LAY OFF THE BEANS, Y/N.” She gasps in mock horror, before saying casually, “Well, compared to your farts, mine smell like roses.” His brothers proceed to catch their wounded brother from the fatal burn that was dealt to him.

Donnie:

Like Raph, Donnie knew the moment she cut the cheese that she was the culprit (her supposedly ‘silent but deadly’ had lacked silence but was still very much fatal). She’s very sheepish when his brothers begin turning to her in suspicion. Mikey leans forward, sniffing between Donnie and his crush, who are sitting next to each other. “Alright, which one of you dropped the booty bomb.” Her entire face goes red, until Donnie comes to the rescue. “Uh… that was me guys. Sorry.” She gives him the most grateful look while his brothers relentlessly tease him.

Mikey:

“Oh, so we’re at THAT level of our relationship, huh?” Mikey smirks when his crush laughs uncontrollably after farting. He takes that as a signal that they’re comfortable enough to begin letting their gross sides show. They’re gross little children, so from that point forward they start a competition of who can catch the other completely off-guard with a silent passing of wind. “Y /N, can you hand me the… OHHHHH! That was a quality one. I didn’t see that coming. That’ll make a lovely topping to my anchovy pizza, thank you.”