G(a)linda 🫧

Peter exhausted, lifting reps with Dick spotting and Jason coaching:

Dick: come on, only 50 to go you’re almost there - you can do it!

Peter: (gasping) nah dude I GAHSK- I can’t! My hands are getting sweaty-

Jason: Do you think the itsy bitsy spider gave a fuck about the rain? NO. It got up in there and climbed the spout again. LOCK. IN.

(The bar wobbles - Peter steadies it)

He completed 500 reps that night.

Bonus:

Dick: (sliding the weight off the bar) let me clear the weights for you.

Peter: NO!

Jason: DON’T-

Dick: huh. What’re you-? GAAAAHH!

——

This is so silly but I saw a tweet and had to recreate it in the context of my fic. . .lord knows my Peter would definitely have beef with a nursery rhyme spider for no reason 😭

no graysons were hurt in the making of this post <3

The original "Damn Bitch you live like this?"

Oh I could tell you where your lillies went…but you wouldn’t like it 🙂‍↔️

This was my Luke if anybody cares

Bonus points if you recognise him too 🤭

I literally though he and the movie actor were the same person and like Annabeth I get it - if he looked like that you couldn’t convince me of nish

Headcanon: Percy and Annabeth, as a result of being a loving, functional, equitable couple, have caused no less then 8 break ups among their acquaintances.

Annabeth's friend in New Rome watching Percy run two blocks to the drug store to get her Advil for her ankle, because she left it at home that day by mistake:

Friend: Gods, how did you train him that good?

Annabeth, barely paying attention to what she said: huh? Oh I didn't train him much, really. I taught him Ancient Greek, some myths and stuff. I mean, I guess I kind of trained him in battle strategy? But that was more of a "learning on your feet" kind of thing.

Friend: No I mean train him to do whatever you ask, or do things without even asking.

Annabeth: What?

Friend: Like if my back was hurting, I don't think my boyfriend would run two blocks to Walgreens for me.

Annabeth: That's fucked up.

Friend: You ... didn't teach him to do that?

Annabeth: To be nice to me? No, I didn't.

Friend: Ugh, you're so lucky.

Annabeth: I ... think I'm going to kill your boyfriend, actually.

~

Percy forgets to print his paper and somehow manages to leave his computer at home. Annabeth is still home when he calls, and she logs into his computer, prints it for him, and brings it to him before the deadline with his favorite smoothie (she had time to spare, and her best friend was stressed).

Percy: You're amazing, babe. Thank you so much.

Annabeth: Of course. See you later. Love you!

Percy: Love you too!

Some guy in his class: You're so lucky. My girlfriend would never.

Percy: Oh, why not?

Some guy: I don't know. She just doesn't do things like that for me. And the smoothie? Fuck, you're lucky.

Percy: I mean, I know I'm lucky, but ... I don't know, it didn't even occur to me that she wouldn't do me a favor.

Some guy: And she doesn't, like, call you stupid for forgetting?

Percy: No. I mean, she might call me seaweed brain, but that's different.

Some guy: She didn't call you seaweed brain just now.

Percy: You're right she didn't ... hold on [calls Annabeth]. Hey are you mad at me? Well, it's just that I did something silly and you didn't call me 'seaweed brain.' Well, sure anyone could do it, but I did it. No, it doesn't hurt my feelings. Yeah, I like it. Thanks, I love you. [hangs up]. You should break up with your girlfriend by the way.

Peter who completely forgets he used a random date for his birthday when he was forging his papers

and then gets jump scared when he steps into his apartment and (amongst other guests) a bloodied Wally, a kilt wearing Roy, a hockey-masked Dick, and a blue scrubbed, scalpel wielding Artemis all yell surprise at him (the date was in fact Halloween)

Peter: so..if Dick is the chainsaw massacre guy, what are the three of you supposed to be?

Wally: (confidently) well, I think ours is pretty obvious - It’s a couple’s fit!!

Peter: (looking between Wally and Art) okay..and you are?

Artemis: A surgeon. He’s the organ donor I trafficked.

Peter: . . .what-?

Artemis: boring right? I think I’ve seen three other couples with the same costume on the way here.

Peter: *suddenly remembering he’s in Gotham*. . .yk what, yeah that checks out.

Roy: I’ve kept it simple this year. I’m an Irishman.

Peter: well that’s lazy. You were already ginger - and why exactly is that terrifying anyway?

Roy:

Peter:

Roy: (deep breath) Okay, I’m going to talk about Ireland. Specifically I want to talk about the famine-

Platonic pairings + ships that keep me up at night:

Roy & Peter & Jason (Todd) - prime example of that insane enabler + high functioning alcoholic + weed dealer trio you know peripherally on campus. Like the statistics they share between them 😭 I’d like to think they’re recovering but they’re always getting into some bullshit you’d have to really fuck around to find out LMAO

I think about their antics all the time 💔

Reyna & Jason (Grace) - I know she moved on to the hunters and I don’t necessarily ship them but I find them so tragic like…Jason is a closeted gay to me but even then I always felt like the love and respect he had for Reyna just sort of vanished at some point in HoO?? Like they never interacted meaningfully in the series even though we’re told they’re supposed to be so close and the erasure just feels sinister. The betrayal she felt was so justified and they kinda made her look petty for it!!

Like the love of her life and lowkey situationship just came back with a random gf. The tension - the misunderstandings on both parties - and if there was a reveal that he could never have loved either of them in the way they wanted??!! Crazy. Like yes Jason was her best friend and greatest love - but he wasted crucial years of her life letting her agonising over something that could’ve never been. But at the same time the duty she represented, the unwavering esteem she held him to & the expectations of those around them that crushed him meant Jason could never really tell her. I think they would’ve had a lot of complicated feelings I wish they unpacked 💔

Dick x Artemis - like every night. I’m awake and I just. Can’t sleep. They’re chemistry- haunts. It’s like the equivalent of the internalised homophobia tag to me. I’ve been conditioned to hate friends to lovers for so long and unlearning it has made me reevaluate how I feel about other ships I dismissed earlier. Like damn maybe I actually fucked with this on the low I just didn’t have the language to express that 💔

Harry x Luna - yeah so this is my canon. I never talk about them because they’re sacred to me in a way I can’t handle others criticising PLEASE DONT ASK ME ABOUT THEM (I won’t shut up)

Harry x Hermione - I know they fucked in that tent and I’m content with the fact that I know it haunts them more than me.

Jason (Grace) x Nico DiAngelo - what could’ve happened if Rick actually liked Jason 💔

Jason (Todd) x Musa - literally nobody cares but I wish someone would write about them omgod

Leo Valdez x Calypso - mostly in a “what the HELL was that about” sort of way

like Leo my love please stand up 😭 calypso is an avid ihatmybf tag reposter and it’s nawwttt a joke to her please 😭 GET OUT OF THERE

Mentally still here

This implication that Jason always wanted siblings lives in my head rent free

Red Hood: Outlaw #32

I needed this god bless

Damian: Richard I demand you read this book to me.

Dick: Aww Dam! Of course I will! Do you want me to do the voices?

Damian: If it brings you joy… I will allow you to do them.

Dick: Sure Dami I can do the voices!

Damian: …

Damian: Thank you Richard.

This is a D.W quote from Arthur btw I just found the coincidence that her initials are the same as Damian’s waaaaay too funny

[Damian and Peter sketching on some rooftop]

Damian: what did you draw?

Peter: (flipping his sketch book) A dog. And he’s bored. What did you draw?

Damian: (sighing) A stick.

Peter: A stick??

Damian: A stick from the park where YOU PROMISED TO TAKE ME TODAY!!!