Peter Who Completely Forgets He Used A Random Date For His Birthday When He Was Forging His Papers

Work in progress..

In my mind Peter treats Bruce like they’re that one 40 y/o + 20 something y/o coworker duo in every corporate office

and it completely baffles Bruce bc ??? how’re you oversharing and simultaneously saying nothing at all

And the problem now is he gets war flashbacks from the stress inducing clusterfuck problems Peter offhandedly tells him about, so every so often he’ll cave and ask Dick about him when he’s not around (“that Peter…did he ever get that denied exam extension sorted?”)

But when he finally does see him it’s like the problem never mattered (“oh - what? I said that? Right no, I just emailed the tutor. But you know, that TA who slept with him said...”) until he mentions something crazy again and the cycle continues.

Basically - organised Bruce meeting Peter “there’s a lot of moving parts so I choose to keep track of none of them” Parker

Damian + Peter sibling headcanons

As told through the stages of Damian’s life:

Toddler Damian who has to sit between Peter’s legs when he’s being babysat while Peter plays on his psp console so he doesn’t Wonder Off.

Toddler Damian who sees it as his god given right to bounce on Peter’s well made bed while he’s at school or work and eat his stashed lollies then lie that he never (the wrappers are peaking out of his fists)

Kid Damian who says hes not a baby and not tired when Peter asks only to knock out on the couch 20 minutes later

Kid Damian who quotes Peter’s opinions like scripture nonchalantly to his friends in middle school to seem cooler.

Kid Damian who makes unhinged animations on his DS Lite for mandatory viewing when his siblings get home

Kid Damian who doesn’t like lying but chooses to remain tactfully silent whenever Bruce notices Peter’s snuck out

(He leaves the window closest to the tree outside open so Peter can sneak in again)

Teenage Damian who moved into Peter’s bigger room in high school but kept some of the things he couldn’t take to college as older sibling lore

Teenage Damian who runs down the stairs to see a home-for-the-holidays Peter setting his bags down at the door and breaks into a smile rolls his eyes

Teenage Damian who ducks out of Peter’s head ruffles with an annoyed groan and weak protests to knock it off

Teenage Damian who’s kept the fliers to every student photography exhibition with Peter’s work in it that he’s ever been too

Teenage Damian who finds himself on a three way call with Jason and Peter after crashing his car for the first time because he snuck out earlier and he’s in sooooo much trouble now

They make a game plan while Jason spends the entire call ribbing him (he’s on repair duty)

Teenage Damian who ducks his head in weak embarrassment walking across the graduation stage as the familiar whoops from the crowd overshadow the announcement of his name to receive his high school diploma

———

This is early 2000s older sibling coded if anyone’s lived through that…experience 😭

If you’ve come this far, I’m writing a fanfic where Damian and Peter have a similar dynamic! Check it out if you like :)

By this scene I was exhausted like let them GO

WICKED (2024) | dir Jon M. Chu

Idk how often this connection has been made but raven and apple from ever after high are literally glinda and elphaba variants

If Peter + Jason, Dick and Tim went out on a boys trip

To Japan. As detailed through timestamps:

5pm - pregame

Tim has been day drinking at previous event and comes to the pregame mildly tipsy

On the contrary Jason forgot to skip his meds that evening (for the first time?!!) and is consequently suffering stone sober

(He’s tried to leave three times already and plans to perform an Irish goodbye)

Dick is a little tipsy but he’s saving it for the main event

Peter has accidentally had too many Shirley temples (unaware that they weren’t clean) and upon discovering so, has begun adamantly repeating that he’s ’not even drunk yet’. This will only worsen with time.

6pm - The drive

Tim ordered the Uber - he sent a venmo request to Jason and to no one else

“You scamming little freak that ride was not $60.”

“Oh yeah I added $40. For GST.”

“That’s not how GST works! You kno-YOU KNOW THIS! How the HELL are you running a conglomerate-“

Peter “I will listen to just about anything”Parker was on aux earlier but got muted when his megaplaylist wouldn’t stop playing brown noise

“why don’t you sort this shit by vibe? why is there a Rihanna song next to minecraft ambience? What is going on -?you know what- stop. GIVE IT HERE-”

Dick has been suspiciously quiet throughout the ride and it’s because he’s wearing earplugs. He and Peter have been sharing a packet of trail mix through the gap between the front and back seat since the trip began.

6:30 - Dessert stop

The first bar they go to is super dead so they ditch without buying a round (Peter grabs a sparkling water bc he feels bad 💔)

They stop at a dessert spot across the street that Tim insists they visit

Jason ditches halfway to go god knows where because the line is LONG

Dick starts chatting up the people in front of them to pass time (social anxiety fears him)

They end up getting invited to a street festival which they spontaneously decide to go to.

But then they’re walking and guess who they find near the Sanrio pop up entrance with bags fucking galore

And Jason refuses to elaborate aside from claiming “it’s a write off” but??

“you don’t even pay taxes??”

7:45

They’re in the centre of the street stalls line up and everyone has split off to explore the stall on their own

8:00

Tim is FaceTiming Steph obnoxiously loudly by the trinket stalls

Dick is taking selfies with his sakura shaped ice treat, ignoring the small gaggle of girls gearing up to approach him (he’s been asked about the club he Hosts at…three times already)

9:50

Overstimulated, Jason went into an alley for a mandatory shut up and smoke break.

Peter’s joined him but those spiked jelly shots from earlier are WORKING and the jet lag is making him sleepy so he’s crouching

But now they lowkey look like shady criminals from afar

Local authorities have circled the area twice to check on the gangsters in the shadows practically scaring the hoes

They end up having to go home early bc if it

——

This was just a silly idea that came to me while working on my Peter in Gotham fanfic so hope yall enjoyed :)

Would anyone be interested in beta reading my Peter Parker x Gotham fic?

I’m kind of in the home stretch of its first arc and I’m looking for some insight from a readers pov regarding characterisation, tone of voice and general plot progression.

Platonic pairings + ships that keep me up at night:

Roy & Peter & Jason (Todd) - prime example of that insane enabler + high functioning alcoholic + weed dealer trio you know peripherally on campus. Like the statistics they share between them 😭 I’d like to think they’re recovering but they’re always getting into some bullshit you’d have to really fuck around to find out LMAO

I think about their antics all the time 💔

Reyna & Jason (Grace) - I know she moved on to the hunters and I don’t necessarily ship them but I find them so tragic like…Jason is a closeted gay to me but even then I always felt like the love and respect he had for Reyna just sort of vanished at some point in HoO?? Like they never interacted meaningfully in the series even though we’re told they’re supposed to be so close and the erasure just feels sinister. The betrayal she felt was so justified and they kinda made her look petty for it!!

Like the love of her life and lowkey situationship just came back with a random gf. The tension - the misunderstandings on both parties - and if there was a reveal that he could never have loved either of them in the way they wanted??!! Crazy. Like yes Jason was her best friend and greatest love - but he wasted crucial years of her life letting her agonising over something that could’ve never been. But at the same time the duty she represented, the unwavering esteem she held him to & the expectations of those around them that crushed him meant Jason could never really tell her. I think they would’ve had a lot of complicated feelings I wish they unpacked 💔

Dick x Artemis - like every night. I’m awake and I just. Can’t sleep. They’re chemistry- haunts. It’s like the equivalent of the internalised homophobia tag to me. I’ve been conditioned to hate friends to lovers for so long and unlearning it has made me reevaluate how I feel about other ships I dismissed earlier. Like damn maybe I actually fucked with this on the low I just didn’t have the language to express that 💔

Harry x Luna - yeah so this is my canon. I never talk about them because they’re sacred to me in a way I can’t handle others criticising PLEASE DONT ASK ME ABOUT THEM (I won’t shut up)

Harry x Hermione - I know they fucked in that tent and I’m content with the fact that I know it haunts them more than me.

Jason (Grace) x Nico DiAngelo - what could’ve happened if Rick actually liked Jason 💔

Jason (Todd) x Musa - literally nobody cares but I wish someone would write about them omgod

Leo Valdez x Calypso - mostly in a “what the HELL was that about” sort of way

like Leo my love please stand up 😭 calypso is an avid ihatmybf tag reposter and it’s nawwttt a joke to her please 😭 GET OUT OF THERE

HC: Peter Parker is a functioning alcoholic

But it’s subtle enough at first that no one really says anything. Like yeah he day drinks - but it was just brunch! And beers/mimosas are half off

:(( Everyone ordered drinks.

And there’s nothing wrong with having a cold beer after studying. Or a few. After missions is just a standard at this point. And some nights in require a little something to take the edge off - even if he just finished a six pack on his own.

Don’t even start with the liquor pen either - it was a joke. The gala was boringgggg it made things fun! And sure, no one under 40 really carries a flask…but it was a souvenir! Jason got it for him.

It’s not until Roy kind of points it out one morning that Dick even considers the idea at all.

Because surely not. Peter’s never been…and he’s never seen him blackout…a lot..but with his metabolism the guy burns through it a lot quicker than most…and it would take a lot to even keep him drun- oh god. He really is an alcoholic.

The intervention that followed wasn’t supposed to be dramatic. But if they really wanted that they definitely shouldn’t have invited Jason - who, unbeknownst to everyone, took it upon himself to hire PROFESSIONAL MOURNERS to cry and beg Peter not to ruin his life 😭

And then they played the alcohol awareness PSA video that Damian and Tim made?? But it was pretty clear they were bickering over the script in between cuts because Alfred drops the camera at one point to break them up 😭😭

Wally actually had no idea what they were supposed to be intervening (chronic gc ignorer) so he just made a sign that said ‘stop!!’ in hopes that no one would notice while he tried to gauge what the issue actually was (Artemis wouldn’t stop laughing which did nawtt help his case LMAO)

In the end Peter agreed to attend a few AA meetings and sober up at the request that Jason join him (Dick’s incessant invitation suddenly makes a whole lot of sense...but there’s nothing he can really do about it now)

————

Some thoughts that my fanfic generated 💔 I promise I’m working on chapter 11 omgod