i hoped this made me feel better but i am now more sad that I don't have people them in my life
Major Trigger Warnings: This story contains attempted suicide, mention of suicide and mention of intrusive thoughts, including some inspired by my own, if any of this triggers you, I strongly apologize.
I wrote this a week ago… and at first I couldn’t bring myself to post it because… well I wasn’t sure if I should but… National Suicide Prevention Month is coming up in September so and then school is starting and… sometimes that can be enough to stress anyone out and trigger feelings of anxiety and even depression so… I’m finally posting it for those reasons…
There is a LOT of triggers in this story, I can’t stress that enough it was hard to just write this but… I felt like I had to…
Inspired by feelings I’ve experienced before and sometimes still experience when my intrusive thoughts come back to haunt me.. I also wanted to dedicate this to anyone else who might have felt suicidal, or even just had intrusive thoughts like me, or anyone else who has thought about suicide. You are not alone and you ARE loved.
Again, there’s a lot of triggers in this story so… reader discretion is advised…
Keep reading
Y/N's quirk: Blood manipulation How it works: You can control someone's blood by just looking at them just like Shouta. You can control your own blood as well, With your quirk you can manipulate your blood into an object or just wings (So you're like momo), Your quirk was rare, You never seen anybody with it before.
Past: "What a disgusting quirk you have." Your mother say's. You were happy with your quirk tbh but you end up growing up hating it. "Your quirk is for a villain" one of your "friends" said, "You're quirk is scary, get away from me!!" The other says, "You'll never be a hero with that quirk." You heard someone. 'Why does everything have to be about quirks? If we haven't had quirks, would it change the world?' You thought to yourself. As 3 years past, You're now 8,You were bullied at school just because of your quirk. It was a normal day of school, school is nearly done, you were tired of the $h!ts that have been happening. "Hey you little piece of crap!" You heard behind your back as you turned around to see your bullies. Of course, one of them were kacchan, Katsuki Bakugou. The future number 1 hero, yeah right. You thought. Kacchan was fast enough to quickly grab you by the collar of your shirt, you weren't here for some $h!tty beat up again this time. The thought about ending their lives made you happy, a smirk came on your face. "what are you smirking for, huh?!" Kacchan said yelling. "To end you~" you eyes turn bright red using your quirk to make a knife with your blood and $tabbing him in his stomach. He felt a painful shock in his stomach, He looks down and coughs out blood. He lets you go and starts yelling in pain like never before. 'Is this the end?' You thought 'will it be all over?!' You smiled while chuckling. You heard footsteps in the hallway, you turned around to see a girl at your age with blonde hair with 2 buns and with yellowish/goldish marble eyes. 'Maybe she can help me' you though. Of course you knew her, she was one of your classmates. Her name was Toga, Himiko Toga. Tbh, You weren't really friends with her but you guys talk once a while. You heard a teacher coming which makes you run the different direction that was the teacher and gradded Toga by the arm.
In an allyway "Why did you do that?" Toga asked "why wouldn't I, you never did anything bad to me so you don't deserve to get caught and get arrested." You looked at her and you see her eyes widen and blushing a bit. But behind toga, You saw someone with blueish and white hair and has some skincare problems- You pulled Toga behind you to protect her from the stranger. "No need to be scared, I'm just trying to ask you a few questions" he said with a soft smile. "What do you want from us?" You ask. "Join me, We'll make this world even better than it is by destroying it!" He said showing his face out of the shadows that were hiding his face. 'Destroy the world?' you thought 'Destroy....Destroy...DESTROY THE WORLD' the word made you happy even the thought about destroying the world made you even jump in joy. "So, Will you join me and help me fix this world." He said. "Well of course, I wouldn't miss this..~"
all credits to @worstkarma on youtube
i repeat this is not my story
summary : the whole ua suspected you of being a traitor , but you've had enough
You stood there shocked , not knowing how to process that your teacher and classmate just doubted you being the UA traitor. Tears streaming down your face. The inquiry was done, they had forcefully checked your Dorm room for specific reason. NOTHING, there was NOTHING that proves you're guilty. The doubt and furrowed eyebrows of everyone towards you; was now gone. They seem to believe you know, that you weren't the traitor, you should be relived right? they believed you in the end, they aren't gonna doubt you again, will they? It's been clear, you have their trust.
Or do you? Simple answer is, you don't have their trust, you never had, you never will. Despite everything you've gone through, they still didn't believed you. You had to prove your loyalty again and again, it shouldn't have been that way, in the first place. It was a hard time to digest that you were the only student that was indirectly been tested to prove yourself . but you turned a blind eye to it, you loved them, you treated them as a family, was ready to kill or be killed for them, you did put on your life in the line for them not once but twice. Then what made them question your loyalty? What made them question your admiration for being a hero? . They trust you now, Only because you haven't been found guilty, not because you told them on top of your lungs to trust you. It's always gonna be that way isn't it? You have to keep proving your self again and again, nothing is gonna change, the cycle will remain going. You sob, not trying to hold back the tears, while Izuku approaches to comfort you, you take your steps away from him, and you look at Aizawa, your voice breaking
You -“your appearance, your society status, and your quirk Doesn't matter, as long as you have a good heart and admiration for your goal. That's all it takes to be a good hero. ” that's what you told us when we first came to UA didn't you Sensei? Why the rules changes when it comes to me?
Aizawa knew he had extremely hurt his student, but this is not the first time, he knew you Swallowed all the pain before but today seems you've had enough, today might be the breaking point, he knows your back has reached the wall and this time you're gonna push back. Aizawa tighten his fist, feeling the heavy guilt, he tried to hold back his tears, Aizawa - Y/N I know, it's hard for you to.... Look, we had our doubts and it had to be cleared.
you- oh it is clear now? Might Come back after a week or two.
izuku tries to hold your shoulders but you shove it off.
You- should've shown your concern before I was proven innocent.
Izuku - it's not like I doubted you Y/n, your my friend.
Y/n - yeah, well you didn't felt necessary to speak up for me either, none of you did, you call me “friend”? Bullshit.
Shoto - Y/N we believe you, we really do, it's just sensei had a list of people he had doubts on....
you - And I'm always on top of it,WHY?
You ask Aizawa while sobbing and wiping your tears. Aizawa looked guilty, he had nothing to say it's always been like this.
Bakugou - Y/n calm down. Don't let your rage take over, you might hurt someone with your words.
you- oh look who's speaking? These words doesn't suit your mouth,you are the one who's running his tongue everywhere,your seriously telling me this while I'm being treated like trash? I put my life on the line for all of you, and in return, I can't have your trust? You guys call me a “friend” and none of you fucking trust me.
Mina and denki were just staring blankly at you, not knowing how to react because you're saying everybit of the truth.
Krishima - pebble listen to....
you - save it for later, kiri.
You look at Aizawa, he's looking down, like he knows he did something terribly wrong. You feel Exhausted by the thoughts running through your mind, you sigh ..
you - was it my quirk?
Aizawa brows furrowed , he looks at you?
Y/n - was it my dangerous quirk, that made you doubt me, or was it the fact that my Father was a villain?
Aizawa finally let's his tears escape his eyes, he doesn't know what to answer, because the truth is none of them could bring themselves to believe that you are such a good hearted person because of your shady past. When you don't get an answer from him , you kneel down on the floor,by then you were a complete a crying mess.
you - it was, wasn't it? You guys couldn't believe that I'm not like my father, or that I want to be a hero despite my villain like quirk.
Iida and izuku tries to make you stand up, it was visible to everyone that. this day totally broke you into thousands of pieces.
You - don't fucking touch me, I don't need any of your sympathies. You guys never believed me did you? Never, even for once? Ochako? Tsyu? Momo? Shoto? Katsuki? Kiri? Mina? Denki? None of you have ever believed me. You start sobbing hard again
You- i put my life on the line for you all Dammnit. MY FUCKING LIFE, and that wasn't enough for you? I was your first thought as the traitor? Wasn't I sensei? Aizawa doesn't answers.
you - speak back, I deserve to know? Despite all I have done for you all, why am I always on the doubting rudder, you say you had your suspects, then why tf your inquiry starts and ends after checking my room? You question them as loud as you could but all there is silence.
you - I'm not gonna fight for something, I'm never gonna have. You don't trust me, and now I don't trust you either.
Izuku - what?.... What are you trying to..
you- I don't think people around me who have this mentality can help me become a hero.
Bakugou - tch.. l/n no, we agree it was a mistake, calm down, don't take your decision out of rage, don't be the past me,
you - I've made my decision, and it's not changing.
Kiri - pebble you can't do this.
You just let them speak because you feel too tired to answer. You look Aizawa in the eyes
you - my transfer letter will be on your table.
Izuku - n/n no,
you - and katsuki this decision is not out of rage, it's out of failure of gaining all of your trust. what I shouldn't have tried for in the first place.
PLEASE 🥺🙏🏻
Mr. Compress look at Tomura and Spinner playing game together
Mr. Compress : Ah... Those gaymers.
Izuku : Gamers.
Mr. Compress : Gaymers.
we got the ua traitor its hagakure
did we just surpass 10 notes oh god fr i am SOBBING
DUKE!GHOST
what’s an au of mine that you’d like to see make a comeback?
levi icons
Giving : quality time
you see suga is very workaholic and also faithful to army {he is army's lil meow meow after all}
he has a very warm heart and likes giving some of his time devoted to you
he will cuddle you up close and say phrases like " you are so pretty" "what did i do to deserve u my love " my knees were hurt when I fell for you "
let you sleep in his arms while cuddling
Receiving : quality time / words of affirmation
[so I was thinking and got tied in between
words of affirmation : some time he is INSECURE , as a normal human being dealing with this kind of hate can be stressful
he needs you assure that u will not leave him trustissues
empower him to keep going despite getting this amount of hate
quality time : he is a VERY busy man . he writes , composes , raps , dances etc.
he needs u to be sincere and all of attention to him while he is giving u time
as i told sometimes he is insecure and if u dont give him your attention than he will think that he is not enough
a/n : so these are some headcanons of lil meow meow
bakusquad headcanons coming soon
bye good morning / night / evening / afternoon