I’ll Watch A Few Videos Of Squid Game And Then Go To Sleep… See Ya.

Well that sucks, married to you know who and only narcissistic psycho has a crush on me?

Nameless Hill looks like firelink shrine thing in ds3. Soul of cinder boss area

«male who unwittingly(out of ignorance) or purposefully(out of jealousy) prevents another male from engaging in debauchery with members of the female sex. Females can also cockblock, but the true essence of the word lies in the metaphor of the penis used figuratively as an impediment which thwarts any possible chances of scoring with members of the opposite sex.»

Uh moriya is MALE?

Katawa-guruma appears as a naked woman riding on a burning singular ox-cart wheel, suffering and burning with pain for … all eternity.

Coughcough…….

This fucking sucks uuhhhhoh

>taimanin characters talk with fucking UNDERTALE HAHAHAHAHAHA tumblr is so gay xd

Introducing muses from their own blogs coming into here like. . .

“ …How did I get here?”

“Rinko-senpai! There’s some sort of goat demon here!”

“Then I shall have this demon taste my blade.”

“I’m not a demon, I’m a Boss Monster. I suggest you both put down those weapons before I burn you both.”

“You won’t even get the chance to do anything.”

“Don’t get too hasty Yukikaze.”

“ … .I’m staying out of this and being all the way back here.”

“I feel out of place.”

Making decisions has always scared me because i want somethinf that is the best. Sometimes, there’s bo such thing as best but I was not educated well as child. If you had to decide what shirt to wear, my mind would go blank. If I have to decide what to eat it’s blank again. Maybe because I personally never felt good about making choices of my own, perhaps I suck at choosing arbitrary subjective traits, that makes me insanecel.

I am starving, carbs carbs carbs carbs carbs carbs carbs carbs…. I hope as long as I daily train muscles I can starve well. Yesterday I felt my muscles soaring, I shouldn’t have binged another tranime AcKA manga, that was bad move. I am like a robot programmed to consoooooooooom

Consooooom

If my inner voice stayed longer with me, I am sure I would have lost all kinds of bad habits in life, why is it so hard to make decisions that normies dont worry about? I feel sometimes rationalization isnt that bad, why do I wear skeleton on surfing board shirt? Hm……

Decisions.

BECAUSE ITS FUCKING COOL GET IT? SKELETONS ARE SPOOKY AND SURFING BOARD IS ALPHA SPORT.

I know I am broken tape recorder but I am like the guy from Kiznavier.

I am frightened because I am so lazy someone would replace me. So that doesnt happen I gotta speak my mind

I copyrighted. Coughcough a show about Paizuri King, thats how its called. Yes.

Its a serialised comic, monochromed with possuble colored variations. The story is about a guy who wants to conquer all oppai lolis across the universe, but there are other female characters but they arent the center attention, they are also heros “”””harem”””” so to speak some of them but the story is about the idea of creating an oppai loli “tribe” with him collecting all kind of lolis from other fiction and storylines, so it is a doushjin.

But listen, yes its not finished. The plot is tacky.

I’ve wanted to simply share.

I’ll stay at park for at least half hour.

I can’t explain one big thing that I hate

I really hate eating. I googled so many diseases but I cant explain the urge to lazy around and for hours to avoid the “responsibility” consciously.

I can work hard! I can! And sure, I need to get used to it but then…. Oh… when at that small second I feel hunger and my mind contemplated for me to stop doing EVERYTHING, just to eat, my brain sadly says BIG NONO.

I start doing nothing and when confronted i avoid it like plaque, i will put on plate, right… go to kitchen, good idea. Then I will start walking! I really have problem with consuming food, there were multiple times back then especially starting 2019…insh at covid era somewhere then, but not so long ago either, i would have extreme fasting period of months…. That happened on multiple occasions, one of them was severe. I lost lots of calories but surprisingly my body didnt feel that different. You can be surprised how long you can survive without food given you dont waste all calories and carbohydrates and glycogen most important through intense workouts.

With more dormat turgor life, you can survive even without water for quite a bit.

I definitelt did back then…. Anyway, the past is over, sometimes I fear “wow w00t wasted all his lifespan hahaahah what” but seriously on average a normal person is far more efficient than I am at efficiency in life. Sometimes its hard to put “Ive done something this grand!”

But yes i need to go fucking eat. Proving the problem……….

And he knows a single ninjujutsu 😫

Rock Lee vs. Gaara went SO hard and was so memorable, it unintentionally tricked an entire generation into thinking Naruto's underlying theme was that effort and hard work ultimately triumph over natural talent. Naruto was, in fact, not about that. It was the opposite, in fact.

I have the victorious strategy for you chuds, but it requires complete muttization in society to extreme, we’re negative el monstro race. Everyone has to be mutt to horrible degree but especially potent indian genes need to increadr and african genes. The only way to win, is indeed to destroy aryan dream. I am sorry but this is the way, my brother.

today is worst day, i am off killing myself.

+

our existence and future is predetermined by variables around us.

some things that make you better, and some things that don't.

when I consider that I imagine I should just off myself today.

I got shock figuring out I am 22, not 21 years old. I lost track of time so badly I forgot that. I thought I was 21 and convinced myself. But I actually am 22 now. Wow, last 5 years of my life were hell. In fact, I'd say everything after 12 was already hell. It was empty void. That's why I really hate videogames, why did I spend so much time playing garbage like Dark Souls? Jesus. Uh... Fuck, I am 22 years old, holy shit I am fucked. It's time to think about my future priorities. a month in mental asylum then few years of absolute suffering and misery, anything after 2015 is blurry to me, I feel like I stopped existing as entity. I wasted a lot of time on social media, a lot of time chasing nothingness, things that possess no power in the world.

And now it's actually 2025?! My brain feels like nothing has been happening and I was genuinely rotting away. I am glad I managed to release some of these touhou videos, I am glad I managed to bring churro back. But everything in my spirit feels miserable, it's pretty obvious I am not cutout for humanity's methodology. I haven't made any friends nor any partner, I do not have any form of support at all. Not even one of family. And with my personality, with my way of being, I doubt I'll ever be able to get any. My ego is in shambles and anger as of right now. It's funny right? It's a small detail but if I said 21 it would have made me FEEL as if I accomplished a little of something. By taking a date one year further now it makes me feel like I am REALLY LATE. After all, I took a while to condition myself to the premise of "atmosphere", this is how "things are supposed to be or play out". I feel insignificant today and like the world is jusjt gonna step on me to death and there's nothing I can do. I am people pleaser, because i felt socially forced to act like one. Like that was a means of survival that I half-hazardly accepted while not feeling it in my heart. Now even complaining makes me feel like age is crawling as penalty for speaking words here. Indeed, nobody really cares. It's all fake, people only care about things that cost zero risk. Associating yourself with something weak makes you weak, isn't that right?

So, what will be my priorities for the rest of my life?

I am definitely alone and I am also not strong to defeat the world on my own, I am tired of ironyposting. I am fucking tired of watching shit youtube content. I am tired of social media hijacking my mind (when really i would've preferred living in a tribe than this fucking -technocratic place) well.. 1. I will try to work on churro as much as I can so this site works and I will use my finance to support it. Since I won't ever have a child, I can share it with the site. It can be costly for future servers and for advertising on whenever I can, but it is my genuine goal to both spend my time and money on the site. That said, I cannot do it while also working, because a few hours aren't enough to code any substantial changes or fix bugs. I will work on trying to take a gambit of perfecting the site while NEET at the moment. My second goal is touhouposting, I thought that I will have periods where I upload videos on youtube and continue doing it. Playing videogames might not be good way to spend free time, but nobody really liked me and I don't communicate so I feel this is better efficient way than all these times I tried making friends. I will probably upload touhou videos every 4 days if my time allows it, but I will eventually run out of time to edit.

So, the touhou thing isn't eternal, give it like 5 years maybe max, I hope to end it at 3. They will be published even if I die but they ought to be entertaining videos.

With that said, gym and training play huge role of my daily life. So that also takes a lot of time.

And procrastinating, I gotta talk about the worst. I am bad at dealing with abstract things, they waste my time more than anything. I am already a loser incel the way I am but when I deal with something that doesn't have a clear goal it will be bothering me. I need to manage my time so I spend the LEAST time on things that requrie entertainment over work. This stuff is something that is hard to fight when you got addicted to brainrot.

As for drawing, drawing is genuine effort workoholic example, so I priotize drawing in free time over meaningless conversations with people who only care about themselves anyway + doom feedscrolling (awful i hate it i am not gonna do it anymroe notgonnadoit My life looks pretty shady according to human standard, but I never went to bars or anything like that, in fact maybe its peopel who are shady and they have the majority. So, what do I do after I get churro perfect and upload all vids I wanted? hm....

yep, I'm probably gonna die. I wouldn't know anything anymore, it'd be nice to have son who would manage churro, maybe I can adopt somebody at very late age as ultra-cuck or something, I am getting tired of typing....

I don't know why but one of the worst things that I experience daily is food apathy, more precisely I'd call it food hatred or food phobia. When I just do things on its own without much work, I am okay. But oh man, when I need to eat my brain gets really messed up. If you tell me I need to eat next week or 3 hours, to me that is being delivered a letter with execution date. It hurts me mentally when I got to eat, my brain slows down and I look like infected in Shikki. I have no clue why it hurts so much, maybe my brain cant handle the idea of slowing down to get extra fuel, but for me it is indeed awful.