Ahh, It’s Back

What I Can’t Say To My Brother

You are fundamentally a bad person. You are furious. You are selfish. You are a liar. You are a gaslighter. You are a thief. You are misogynistic. You are queerphobic. You are racist. You are intolerant. You are abusive.

Everything has been handed to you. You do not have to try to succeed in anything. You’re athletic, charismatic, talented, pretty enough to look like every leading man in an action flick , and every body wants you to succeed. I grew up hearing and watching everyone fawn over you. Kids at school would make friends with me just so they could come over to the house to hangout with you.

“Deven’s so smart, you know when he was little he spoke Russian and Spainish?”

“Deven’s so handsome he should be a model!”

“Deven’s so good at fixing computers!”

Your life could’ve been astronomically better than mine. But you couldn’t even do the bare minimum of effort or pretense of it to even coats on by. You’ve pissed every opportunity away. Every ounce of goodwill people have given you, you’ve sucked it dry.

The money you stole to party with your rich kid friends (who you also mooched off of to the point they stopped talking to you) almost made our family homeless. Every girlfriend you’ve ever had would sheepishly admit that you bragged about stealing money from me to pay for the date and would slip me a twenty from their purse as an apology.

Every girlfriend you’ve had you also drove to have an emotional breakdown. You purposely went after women with emotional problems and no support structure so you could bully them. These were women who wouldn’t know what a real healthy normal relationship is supposed to be. You did that on purpose.

You claim our mother is the person you love the most in the world (after yourself). You take money from her (you steal from her on occasion).The few times she tried making boundaries you guilted her and blamed. Our mother, the one parent we share in our blood, the one parent who actually stuck around for you.

My poor mother had to give up her dreams of travel and further education, of making beautiful art, all so she could give birth to a pitiful man like you. She was sixteen and scared out of her mind. She was hurting from a father that abondomded her as well, and you fucking play on that with your POS dad’s behavior. You use your fear of abondomenr as a fucking excuse.

You dare try to lecture me. You dare try and take some sort of moral authority and intellectual stance. I only speak to you at family functions out of the bare necessity to not hurt our poor grandmother’s feelings.

How fucking dare you try to explain the origins of storytelling and myth. I’m a fucking English Major with a concentration in creative writing my thesis is based around archetypes. I’m not taking intellectual or academic sources from a man who got a full ride to college but flunked our his first semester because he didn’t show up to class and didn’t do homework.

You only showed up to take tests. (College students who do this have the brains to check the professor’s attendance policy and grading system to see if they can pass and get away with it.) You also didn’t have the spine to tell our parents what you were actually doing, you would drive up to college and sleep in your car, like the jellyfish you are.

It took everything I had in me not to tear you down with a few sentences. You have to feel like the smartest person around. You dared to say you were, “The Muhammad Ali of Knowledge.”

Every memory of you cornering me and screaming at me to agree with you and your shitty pints. You would t let me leave til I said you were right in between choking back sobs burned in me. You and your need to control every body around you.

I could’ve destroyed you. Just a few flippant words, because let’s be real, what we say causally is usually what devastates others the most.

“Relax, you’re only my half-brother.”

“So, how smart do you have to be for your dad to finally give a shit about you?”

“What’s it like to have a dad that doesn’t love you?”

But I didn’t, you know why? Because I’m not you. That would’ve been a Deven move.

Can't afford art school?

After seeing post like this 👇

And this gem 👇

As well as countless of others from the AI generator community. Just talking about how "inaccessible art" is, I decided why not show how wrong these guys are while also helping anyone who actually wants to learn.

Here is the first one ART TEACHERS! There are plenty online and in places like youtube.

📺Here is my list:

Proko (Free, mostly teaches anatomy and how to draw people. But does have art talks and teaches the basics.)

Marc Brunet (Free but he does have other classes for a cheap price. Use to work for Blizzard and teaches you everything)

Aaron Rutten (free, tips about art, talks about art programs and the best products for digital art)

BoroCG (free, teaches a verity of art mediums from 3D modeling to digital painting. As well as some tips that can be used across styles)

Jesse J. Jones (free, talks about animating)

Jesus Conde (free, teaches digital painting and has classes in Spanish)

Mohammed Agbadi (free, he gives some advice in some videos and talks about art)

Ross Draws (free, he does have other classes for a good price. Mostly teaching character designs and simple backgrounds.)

SamDoesArts (free, gives good advice and critiques)

Drawfee Show (free, they do give some good advice and great inspiration)

The Art of Aaron Blaise ( useful tips for digital art and animation. Was an animator for Disney. Mostly nature art)

Bobby Chiu ( useful tips and interviews with artist who are in the industry or making a living as artist)

Sinix Design (has some tips on drawing people)

Winged canvas (art school for free on a verity of mediums)

Bob Ross (just a good time, learn how to paint, as well as how too relax when doing art. "there are no mistakes only happy accidents", this channel also provides tips from another artist)

Scott Christian Sava (Inspiration and provides tips and advice)

Pikat (art advice and critiques)

Drawbox (a suggested cheap online art school, made of a community of artist)

Skillshare (A cheap learning site that has art classes ranging from traditional to digital. As well as Animation and tutorials on art programs. All under one price, in the USA it's around $34 a month)

Human anatomy for artist (not a video or teacher but the site is full of awesome refs to practice and get better at anatomy)

Second part BOOKS, I have collected some books that have helped me and might help others.

📚Here is my list:

The "how to draw manga" series produced by Graphic-sha. These are for manga artist but they give great advice and information.

"Creating characters with personality" by Tom Bancroft. A great book that can help not just people who draw cartoons but also realistic ones. As it helps you with facial ques and how to make a character interesting.

"Albinus on anatomy" by Robert Beverly Hale and Terence Coyle. Great book to help someone learn basic anatomy.

"Artistic Anatomy" by Dr. Paul Richer and Robert Beverly Hale. A good book if you want to go further in-depth with anatomy.

"Directing the story" by Francis Glebas. A good book if you want to Story board or make comics.

"Animal Anatomy for Artists" by Eliot Goldfinger. A good book for if you want to draw animals or creatures.

"Constructive Anatomy: with almost 500 illustrations" by George B. Bridgman. A great book to help you block out shadows in your figures and see them in a more 3 diamantine way.

"Dynamic Anatomy: Revised and expand" by Burne Hogarth. A book that shows how to block out shapes and easily understand what you are looking out. When it comes to human subjects.

"An Atlas of animal anatomy for artist" by W. Ellenberger and H. Dittrich and H. Baum. This is another good one for people who want to draw animals or creatures.

Etherington Brothers, they make books and have a free blog with art tips.

📝As for Supplies, I recommend starting out cheap, buying Pencils and art paper at dollar tree or 5 below. If you want to go fancy Michaels is always a good place for traditional supplies. They also get in some good sales and discounts. For digital art, I recommend not starting with a screen art drawing tablet as they are usually more expensive.

For the Best art Tablet I recommend either Xp-pen, Bamboo or Huion. Some can range from about 40$ to the thousands.

💻As for art programs here is a list of Free to pay.

Clip Studio paint ( you can choose to pay once or sub and get updates. Galaxy, Windows, macOS, iPad, iPhone, Android, or Chromebook device. )

Procreate ( pay once for $9.99 usd, IPAD & IPHONE ONLY)

Blender (for 3D modules/sculpting, animation and more. Free)

PaintTool SAI (pay but has a 31 day free trail)

Krita (Free)

mypaint (free)

FireAlpaca (free)

Aseprite ($19.99 usd but has a free trail, for pixel art Windows & macOS)

Drawpile (free and for if you want to draw with others)

IbisPaint (free, phone app ONLY)

Medibang (free, IPAD, Android and PC)

NOTE: Some of these can work on almost any computer like Clip and Sai but others will require a bit stronger computer like Blender. Please check their sites for if your computer is compatible.

So do with this information as you will but as you can tell there are ways to learn how to become an artist, without breaking the bank. The only thing that might be stopping YOU from using any of these things, is YOU.

I have made time to learn to draw and many artist have too. Either in-between working two jobs or taking care of your family and a job or regular school and chores. YOU just have to take the time or use some time management, it really doesn't take long to practice for like an hour or less. YOU also don't have to do it every day, just once or three times a week is fine.

Hope this was helpful and have a great day.

"also apologies for any spelling or grammar errors, I have Dyslexia and it makes my brain go XP when it comes to speech or writing"

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

How To Digest Books Above Your “Level” And Increase Your Intelligence

Our DM’s Guide to D&D Classes

CHOCOLATE PUMPKIN CUPS❤️ Ingredients🍎: CHOCOLATE LAYERS ½ cup melted coconut oil ½ cup cacao powder 2 tablespoons maple syrup PUMPKIN LAYER 2 tablespoons melted coconut oil ½ cup pumpkin purée (not pumpkin pie filling) 3 tablespoons almond butter (or your favorite nut butter) 2 tablespoons maple syrup ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon Prep👩🏻‍🍳: Line a muffin tin with cupcake liners. Combine all ingredients for chocolate layer in a small bowl. Mix until well combined. I found that measuring out about ½ tablespoon (or a little less) into each cupcake liner was just enough to fill both chocolate layers. These layers are very thin! I made 10 chocolate cups. You may have to spread out the chocolate so it fills the whole liner. Freeze for 15 minutes. Meanwhile, prepare the pumpkin layer. Combine all ingredients for pumpkin layer in a small bowl. Mix until well combined. I measured out about 1 tablespoon for each cup. Layer over the chocolate and freeze for 20 minutes or until firm. Finish by layering the leftover chocolate over the pumpkin layer and freeze for an hour or until firm. Transfer cups to a sealed container and store in freezer. Source: the glowing fridge

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