I Just Like This Article A Lot. ❤️ I Know I’m Not The Only One Having A Difficult Time Right Now,

“I love you and everything will be okay.” -me to myself

i went out to the cinema with my mum and my friend yesterday and i was pretty fine i didnt rlly struggle with it like i thought i would when a few hours before leaving i felt physically ill and extremely exhausted just because i knew it was coming. and now i feel like im spiraling im dissociated and i feel like im faking everything because how can i be mentally ill when i left the house for the first time in weeks and was fine? does it mean im faking?

Hello anon! No, that definitely doesn’t mean you’re faking.

I can think of a couple different things that might explain it.

Anticipatory anxiety

It sounds like your anxiety before the event was worse than it was during it.

Sometimes, the wait before a distressing thing can be much harder than actually going through it. That’s common, and it’s an okay way to feel. (In fact, for me personally, that’s the main way my anxiety presents itself.)

Modifying factors

Maybe you felt comfortable, because your mom and your friend were there.

Maybe you were enjoying the cinema so much, you didn’t feel distressed.

Maybe after all the anxiety beforehand, you were just too exhausted to freak out anymore.

Or maybe you were slightly dissociated – just enough to take the edge off and allow you to function semi-normally.

Symptoms can vary from day to day

The thing about our brains & minds is that they don’t really follow any rules. They just do whatever works best in the moment.

And what works best can vary a lot from day to day. Sometimes it’s easier (or harder) to cope, due to other factors. So your symptoms or issues can fluctuate, too.

That doesn’t mean “nothing’s wrong with you” – it doesn’t mean your mental illness is imaginary, or that it’s disappeared. And it doesn’t mean you’re faking.

It just means that on this day, for some reason that may or may not be obvious, you were able to handle that outing more easily than you expected.

That’s not a guarantee that you’ll always be able to do it so easily, and other people shouldn’t assume it is.

The best we can do is look at our patterns over time, try to understand what conditions are best for us – what we need in order to function best & be happy – and work on feeling okay giving that to ourselves.

Rebound dissociation

Earlier in my life, I’d dissociate under stress.

But in some situations, it was more protective to fawn and comply. So while I was there, I’d act super friendly, engaged and responsive, for hours at a time.

And as soon as I got out of the situation, I’d shut down and dissociate completely. I couldn’t move, talk, or think. Once my stress level was low enough to tolerate, I’d “come down” from the dissociation.

At first, I resisted the shutdown because it was terrifying and silent and awful. But when I stopped fighting it, I found myself recovering more quickly, because I wasn’t adding to the stress. So I started thinking of it as “resting” and “re-stabilizing.”

A similar thing still happens when I get overstimulated by light, noise, or other people’s emotions: I naturally withdraw into myself until I can regroup.

It’s possible you also experienced that during/after the cinema.

You might have been overwhelmed by sensory stuff from being in public, other people’s feelings and reactions, or your own feelings. Or maybe you were just totally exhausted.

Dissociation is a coping mechanism

The important thing to know is that dissociation is a self-protective act. It’s not always the BEST coping mechanism you could use, but it is one, and it works. It shields you from overwhelming feelings until you have the resources to deal with them.

If you’re dissociating, it’s probably because you’re having a hard time right now.

That’s the bottom line. So when you’re ready to take care of your feelings, anything you can do to help yourself feel calmer, comforted, soothed, and grounded, isgoing to help.

It may not feel comfortable at first – after all, when you’re dissociated, it’s because you’re afraid to feel – but if you’re ready to come back to yourself, then go ahead, even though it feels awkward and hard. You’ll be okay.

When you find yourself dissociated, try and be gentle with yourself. Don’t judge or hate on yourself for it. Just be a little nicer than usual. Take care of yourself and your poor stressed-out brain.

You can take a nap, do a nice sensory thing like a scented bath or shower, cuddle with a pet, listen to music that you love, give yourself a hand or foot massage, write in a journal, do a guided meditation, or anything that you find restorative and calming.

Basically, anything that reminds you “hey, sometimes being in the moment actually feels okay.”

Right now, it’s probably really hard, but that doesn’t mean it will be this way forever. Over time, you’ll be able to handle it more easily and comfortably. 

Thanks for writing to me, and I hope you feel much better soon! <3

This is the most amazing feeling, it really truly is. And when you find a person who gives you that experience, you’ll want to hold onto them forever.

But although you might consider them magical, it isn’t really coming from them. It’s you. You brought something real into world, out into the open, and that is a powerful act. You enabled that moment of truth and vulnerability and healing to occur. It couldn’t have happened without you: your choice, your courage, your presence.

So that person isn’t the only source of acceptance, resonance, and true connection. Because you carry the potential for it with you, every day.

And there are many amazing people in the world. People who will respond with warmth and steadiness to your dark secrets and your truths -- if you can dare to show them.

Learning to receive that from a variety of people is ... difficult. And beautiful, and empowering. It means learning to let them in, to let in the love that’s around you.

avpd concept: I tell someone everything I’ve been too afraid to say my entire life and they don’t think I’m a monster. They don’t run away. They stay. And that means I can finally stop running, too

Georgia Voters *who voted in the November 2020 Election* are finding themselves PURGED from voter records.

This video explains how to check this and how to re-register

Deadline to re-register is Dec 7th

The secret about self esteem

You don’t actually have to love yourself to be happy, healthy, and stable. Here are some beliefs that you can work towards instead

- no one deserves bad treatment, including you - You deserve to be treated with self kindness & to meet you own physical and emotional needs - Physical appearance isn’t the most important thing, and even if you’re unattractive you deserve to be able to live your life without shame - that no one is expected to be perfect at everything they try, and that it’s ok to enjoy things you aren’t good at - It’s more interesting and fun to focus your thoughts outward on the world and other people than to think about how much you like or dislike yourself - That everyone makes mistakes and does embarrassing things, and that an embarrassing event might feel really terrible but it’s not actually a threat - It’s not worth obsessing over whether you are a good or bad person, bc those things don’t really exist. (There are only good & bad actions; humans are way too complex & ever changing to fit into black & white labels) - Your thoughts and emotions are as valid & real as anyone else’s

Basically, the goal with all of this is to accept that you can treat yourself with self compassion. It is going to be near impossible to be happy if you constantly tear yourself down, or if you don’t respect needs, but it’s definitely possible to be happy feeling pretty meh about it.

I recommend focusing on things you believe are true for all people, then working back to yourself (for example, that everyone deserves to be treated kindly, that physical appearance isn’t shameful, that everyone makes mistakes, etc). Make self kindness the goal. When you are being mean to yourself, remind yourself to be kinder. If you feel horrible about a mistake remember you are only human. And the rest of the time? Pour your energy into creating meaningful activities in your life. Make art, chase goals, call friends, read books, learn, create, engage. You will find the works is much bigger and brighter when you make room for something besides self criticism.

I honestly believe that people who lost their childhood, teenage years to mental illness and/or trauma are so strong for still being here. Especially once you’re about 18-25 and trying to relearn how to be in society and healthy and human.

Especially when you decide to work towards getting better.

Especially when your life isn’t where you wished it would be.

Stay alive okay? If you lost your youth, I’m sorry and I’m so proud of you for still being here. Keep fighting. Your best years are ahead of you.

Ah the free market at work. (Similar to when I went to CVS to pickup a 90$ prescription and they had their own generic version for 7.99).

What Boundaries Look Like 👀

Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done.

unknown (via samxcamargo)

Mental Crop Rotation

When farmers grow the same crop too many years in a row, it can leave their soil depleted of minerals and other nutrients that are vital to the health of their fields.

To avoid this, farmers will often alternate the crops that they grow because some plants will use up different minerals (such as nitrogen) while other plants replenish those minerals. This process is known as “crop rotation.”

So the next time you find that you need to step away from a project to work on something else for a while, don’t beat yourself up for “quitting” that project. Give yourself permission to practice “mental crop rotation” to maintain a healthy brain field.

Because I’ve found that when that unnecessary guilt and pressure are removed from the process, a good mental crop rotation can help you feel more energized and invigorated than ever once you’re ready to rotate back to that project.